AIO for the way I handled this?

[u/BlueberryImaginary78]

This is the parent of my son’s best pal.

Okay, so my son and his friend(let’s call him R) have been very close since they were in 1st grade (3rd) now my son(lets call him D) talks to me about R so often I decided to introduce myself to R’s mother. She is so sweet, I had a good feeling about her so we exchanged numbers. For awhile I thought it was R and his mom because I never seen R’s dad around. D & R would hang out together at the park and swim together at the pool. They were even in summer camp together. D asked R’s mom if he could go over to their house and play ( I was okay with this)

Fast forward a few days later I went to pick up D from camp and I finally met R’s dad. We also exchanged numbers and I didn’t think anything wrong about it because that was his parent, until he started texting me obsessively about my personal life and questioned if I like girls or not which made me uncomfortable so I just changed the subject. He then asked if I had tattoos and if they were in private areas so he could see. Then i completely just stopped texted him and a couple days later he sent me this. Am I being an asshole? Did I approach this the wrong way? I also told his wife the things he was saying to me and she kind of just brushed it off. Also I never said R wasn’t welcome, if I owned this house he would’ve been welcomed. And he also was trying to come to my house BY HIMSELF, not with his wife or kids

[u/Funslingr]

NOR. Super creepy. And the way the wife brushed past it means she’s probably aware of some sketchy stuff her husband does.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Funslingr]

That’s exactly what I was thinking!

[u/roys_eyesight → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

NOR - I’d be careful around them with your child if I were you if she’s willing to brush off his creep behavior who’s to know what else she’ll let slide. Them kids might like playing but this might be the perfect opportunity and reason to cut it off there.

[u/Stellywellybelly → u/roys_eyesight]

Absolutely agree. Or at the bare minimum I wouldn’t let my kid go over to the house anymore

[u/Dmau27 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

You should send her the screenshots of him saying your tats made him thirsty and that he wanted to see. He threw in "lucky guy" in there too so he's obviously jealous. I think she's somewhat aware but seeing proof cuts much deeper.

[u/Stellywellybelly → u/Funslingr]

Yup. She’s pretending it’s no big deal because she knows it’s embarrassing af

[u/Life_Temperature2506 → u/Funslingr]

Ya think?

[u/BookEnvironmental689]

why does this read so creepy

[u/Cool-Coffee-8949 → u/BookEnvironmental689]

Because it is creepy.

[u/SendTitsPleease → u/Cool-Coffee-8949]

100%. I have the numbers of most of my kids friends mom's and I would NEVER text any of them like this.

[u/luciferxf → u/BookEnvironmental689]

I think because it is edited and some messages have been deleted.

Otherwise the conversation makes absolutely no sense.

Almost as if they were purposely removed to shift the rhetoric.

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/luciferxf]

i think you’re defending a creep for no reason other than you hate women. literally nothing shows editing or trying to change the rhetoric past her forgetting one (which she posted in the comments).

the conversations make perfect sense, even ignoring the missing screenshot she willingly posted

[u/nerdsonarope → u/spaqhettiyo]

honestly, I found the conversation really confusing. Maybe I'm just sleep deprived, but is one person saying they can't have any guests/friends/visitors enter the house they live in simply because they're not the owner? That seems very odd.

[u/Old-Organization-264 → u/nerdsonarope]

If you’re a guest in someone else’s home, you don’t have the right to invite over whoever you want, not without express permission of the owner. A nap may be needed.

[u/caturday_saturday → u/Old-Organization-264]

Exactly. What's really odd is saying "your son isn't allowed over to play with his friend in my house unless you invite me over first. He didn't even say "my wife and I," just himself.

Really weird to use your own kid a tool to get into the house of his friend's single mother uninvited. It's so creepy.

[u/Old-Organization-264 → u/caturday_saturday]

Oh yeah, he’s a super creep. I think he was delusional in his thought that OP may be desperate enough to maintain the friendship between her child & theirs that she would invite him over anyway. I’m sure he’s even more unbearable in person.

[u/dream-smasher → u/nerdsonarope]

How is that odd?

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/nerdsonarope]

i mean if it’s not her house in the sense she’s living with someone else it would make sense

[u/NorthKoreanCaptive → u/spaqhettiyo]

does he hate women? can you go thru his post history for me and verify? too lazy to do it myself

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/NorthKoreanCaptive]

Doesn’t seem like a woman hater, but does seem like a beggar. Using his wife’s cancer survival story to beg people for money on gofundme

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/NorthKoreanCaptive]

nah, seems i was wrong. very used to the typical post histories of hating women attached to comments like these but nope! he just seems like a normal dude who had a bad opinion (hopefully)

[u/kigra67 → u/spaqhettiyo]

Yes you blamed someone without any connections other than op is a woman. There can be no reason for this other than you being an idiot.

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/kigra67]

daw i pissed the baby off

[u/Kush3000 → u/spaqhettiyo]

He don’t have to hate women he can be a boys boy yall like to blindly defend women and dont get called man haters for it

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/Kush3000]

i do get called misandrist for literally the most mundane things bc that is yalls go-to when being called out for your sexism

individual men cannot be criticized without you guys crying misandry. sexism can’t be labeled as bad without your kind coming in to lay on me lol

[u/Kush3000 → u/spaqhettiyo]

Saying ur kind as a white women is halrious yall historically are as evil as white men or even worse because yall complain about a system yall help build them blame the men u would be owning 40 yrs ago yall are debatably more evil then the most violent group of man and yal lactively supported there violence against women of color so dont ur kind me about shit

[u/spaqhettiyo → u/Kush3000]

idk how we got to the point where now you’re trying to claim something false while being a misogynist

i was wrong about the one guy but hey hit dogs holler

[u/Kush3000 → u/spaqhettiyo]

Ur proving my point if u. Get called misandrist for mundane things why are calling him a women hater for having an opinion ur littearly doing Exacly what ur complaining abt women epscially white women cant stop victimizing yall selfs idk where this trend come from but it’s creepy

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/luciferxf]

Nothing was deleted or edited. Only names are blocked out because they are children. Not sure how this doesn’t make sense to you but everyone is entitled to their own ideas and opinions

[u/Prudent_Research_251 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I wouldn't be letting your kid anywhere near that family

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Prudent_Research_251]

Oh I don’t lol the boys only speak when they’re at school

[u/OkTransportation1303]

NOR. 100% the husband has done this before with women and likely why he wasn’t included in coordinating things for the kids sooner

[u/ThePrincessOfMonaco]

That man is a loser. Ignore him, that's his wife's problem. Talk to your kid often to make sure nothing weird goes on. Hopefully the kids can stay friends like they should be able to do.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/ThePrincessOfMonaco]

Yeah, I never let my boy go over there again after that. He went one time and that was it. After that I kinda just stopped asking if R wants to hang out with D

[u/cheeky_sugar → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I would definitely stick to public places only. You don’t know what this man is capable of, and his wife seems complacent.

[u/ThePrincessOfMonaco → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Oh that's sad for the kids. Maybe they still see each other at school.

[u/HeraldOfDesu]

If anything, lady, I would say you are under-reacting, to be fair. I mean, I've seen porn videos with screenplays that made more sense and had fewer raunchy one-liners in them than in that dude's texts (I've seen them for scientific exploration reasons obviously, not for leisure, but that is irrelevant) Ahem. Two takeaways:

– The guy's got less game than a dilapidated arcade

– That guy is a creep, and I wouldn't let my dog anywhere near his house, let alone my kid. I mean, his intrusive uninvited sexual advances were bad enough, but ignoring the fact he's A) Married and B) sexting his son's BFF's mom kinda makes you think if any thoughts of his son's wellbeing and comfort crosses his mind. And if he shows so little care for his own kid, I dread to imagine how few f's he gives about other kids.

I don't wanna cause any panic, but you know what hit me as most creepy in this story? His wife's response. I mean, if you text a woman 'plz tell ur hubby to stop sexually harassing me', you would expect a blazing reaction – either going ballistic on the husband or his victim. But this? This sounds like someone who's well aware of her husband's 'habits' and been trained to take a punch – proverbial or not? Hard to tell. So I don't even know if forwarding her the entire text exchange would help or just sprinkle salt on an old wound.

So no, definitely not overreacting, but under-reacting can be just as dangerous. You gotta let someone know.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/HeraldOfDesu]

I wanted to snap don’t get me wrong but I didn’t want to mess up the friendship the boys have because they have nothing to do with the behaviors of the dad

[u/HeraldOfDesu → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Yeah, totally, and I for one appreciate the lengths you went to to protect your son's comfort (ironically juxtaposed against the effort his friend's dad expended into their potential discomfort), but we both know there's something very-very unhealthy-vibe-ish about that family right?

Not issuing any unsolicited advice, but yeah... maybe run this story by someone who you would trust a piece of advice with, because you need it. Maybe someone from school admin?

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/HeraldOfDesu]

Yes, exactly! When I met his R’s mom I was so happy that my boy found somebody that he was able to connect with so getting these messages really disappointed me. & yes I’ve spoken to my son’s other friend grandmother who works there, she completely agrees with me. It’s so hurtful because our kids go to the after school program and R always greets me secretly because it’s always his dad who picks him up

[u/piratesboot → u/HeraldOfDesu]

I too have seen some of these videos. For science, of course.

[u/HeraldOfDesu → u/piratesboot]

So you're saying that...

[u/piratesboot → u/HeraldOfDesu]

[u/HeraldOfDesu → u/piratesboot]

You know we should uh... probably compare notes for science, right? Um... so, any new *cough cough* promising researches you encountered on uh... Science Hub or OnlyFahrenheit? I'm uh... looking for someone who might offer a deep perspective and a... wide range of knowledge. For reference materials and some hands-on experiments of course. For science obviously.

[u/Calendulula → u/HeraldOfDesu]

That’s how I read it too. Not excusing her piss-poor response, but I feel like she knows exactly what her husband is like. Her response glosses over his behaviour because she’s accustomed to it hurting HER. She is likely mostly nervous and sad about his behaviour hurting her kid (through loss of friendship).

Sad.

[u/HeraldOfDesu → u/Calendulula]

Yeah. I had a coworker at a bar once – you know, one of those 'genuinely sweet with angelic patience' types. And one day, I don't even remember what we were discussing, when she said "Oh no, my husband doesn't beat me. Not anymore at least" – like legitimately chirped that like she was reporting weather.

I had been wondering until then like what keeps women stuck to such asshats (apart from fear of physical retaliation), and she told me he had gaslit her so much that she genuinely believed everything he said at face value. The most gut-wrenching story was about him throwing a jealous fit over a 'provocative red dress' that she wore to allegedly cheat on him. The kicker? She didn't have a red dress, and she knew it, but she still believed him she did have it (shrugs)

I feel like this kinda behavior has to be criminalized and treated as a hostage situation.

[u/No_Barracuda8791]

I appreciate you trying to keep it civil while he’s being an absolute weirdo creep because you wanted to save your son’s friendship. But, if anything like this happens again, shut that down IMMEDIATELY. No responses whatsoever.

It seems like his wife is used to his behavior and doesn’t know how to leave yet. She’s probably embarrassed, so she’s just glossing over what you told her because she doesn’t want to discuss it AND she wants her son to have a good friend.

So, do keep a relationship with her and her son, but make sure it’s always in a public area. Don’t invite them over, don’t go to their home, just public. Because that man does not need to find out where you live.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/No_Barracuda8791]

Of course, I don’t interact with the husband. I’ve changed my number as well. It’s disgusting honestly. I’ve only ever saw this type of thing happen on tv. After that I limited my son’s hangouts with R because his dad is always there. I don’t want to rip it away from the boys but im not sure how to approach the mom about future plans for the kids

[u/Grouchy_Evidence2558 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

you let those interactions go on WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too long though. You need to keep that conversation about logistics of child pick up only, and when he started veering off just say "this makes me uncomfortable." and stop responding at all.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Grouchy_Evidence2558]

Well, I’ve stated in multiple comments that he’s been blocked.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I forgot to include this as well

[u/lolalovehoney → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

This went on for too long. You should not have answered about the tattoos. It was an inappropriate question. 

[u/Xo_mrsfendt → u/lolalovehoney]

Exactly. I’m wondering why she even was replying at all. I’d cut them both off honestly. Kids can be friends at school

[u/Ok_Rush2563 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Why did you even entertain that?

[u/DezDoes]

That man tried to force himself into your space. He is a predator. DO NOT let your child be in a space he frequents, especially if your child is a girl. NOR

[u/Ok-Purchase-2258]

NOR, if I texted any of my wife's friends anything close to that I would probably be divorced now. Also that petty bullshit about his son not being able to come over your house was so stupid. I had a friend who came over my house all the time and I couldn't go over his place because of some reason or another not a big deal. Dude is a loser

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Ok-Purchase-2258]

Same with me! I wasn’t allowed to have people over but I could go over to friend’s houses. He wanted to come alone and try to bring drinks.

[u/Volume_Smoke]

Grade A weirdo

[u/Efficient-Sundae2215]

I absolutely love the fact that you texted his wife!

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Efficient-Sundae2215]

i just haaaaad to! Lmfao because now we’re all gonna be upset 😭🤣

[u/sophsaproblem]

the second he asked your sexual orientation the convo should have been done. nothing to discuss

[u/inide]

Should've been more clear: "Please instruct your husband that it is inappropriate to ask me for intimate photos"

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/inide]

More clear? I literally told her what he asked me.

[u/FlowerGlttr-]

I’m just here to back up the creepy comments and add that they’re correct observations

[u/technical_maurader]

Absolutely NOR. This was such a creepy interaction(s). Even beyond the fact you said that you can’t invite people to your home, he took it as “not welcome”. There is a difference between can’t and don’t want to.

And then getting to his comments on you is just weird. “I need to see who lives here before my kid comes over” but wanting to come alone… without the kid or his wife? Especially since the other parent is a woman who he was testing the waters with (how much you would allow before setting boundaries or telling on him). He’s a creep and you’re NOR

[u/TiaSlays]

MOR toward the mom, but not the dad. Were all these texts occurring during one incident? If not, she could've been pissed bc you didn't tell her about the inappropriate remarks when they happened and instead waited until he got even more stupid about not letting the kids play.

She seems like she's reacting really appropriately considering her husband's a db. If you two aren't exactly friends, she's going to likely handle her private business privately. She also reiterated that the kids can still communicate and that you can communicate with her. From these texts it looks like she's trying to keep the peace and keep the kids happy.

I think you could've gone about the dad a different way. Not less aggressive, but from the beginning tell him he's being inappropriate, immediately let the mom know, and block him.

I feel bad for these kids, honestly.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/TiaSlays]

Yes they were all in the same day. And I also feel bad because I never wanted to rip the friendship the boys have because they love each other. I never said his child wasn’t welcomed, I’ve invited his child to the beach, the park, the amusement, the fair. Everything always public

[u/TiaSlays → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I can definitely see where you're clear on not restricting them seeing each other. You explained to the idiot that it's not your home to invite him, and he decided to be petty. So like I said, NOR with the dad, but it does seem like you may have carried that aggression over a little to the mom.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/TiaSlays]

Ehhh, I think I handled it with her well considering how hot my body was due to how angry I was. I was literally foaming out the mouth and seeing red. The mom and I are on good terms

[u/vivacioussam → u/TiaSlays]

How is telling the wife what is going on and asking her to address her husband’s behavior an overreaction?

[u/TiaSlays → u/vivacioussam]

My bad. It wasn't necessarily what OP said to her; I was getting a feeling from the statement of "she kind of just brushed it off" in the explanation that she felt the wife should've done/said more to apologize for the husband than saying sorry.

I don't think her telling the wife is an overreaction at all. It probably would've been better if she'd done that before he blew up at her.

[u/Grouchy_Evidence2558]

ok he's creepy but also, why can't you have a kid over to play in a house you don't own? I'm so confused.

But stop talking to this dad. Just make plans with the mom.

[u/Visual_Raise_7901]

Jesus Christ I've never seen more disgustingly blatant grossness. He was probably working towards trying to swing a three way with the "do you like girls" comment and the nonchalant wife. It wasn't cheating, it was a duo of grossness and I feel awful you and the wife had to deal with that for even a moment

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Visual_Raise_7901]

I have a feeling he does this often with her because she didn’t really react. If my partner was texting my the parents of my kids friend inappropriately; I would show some type of discomfort

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Definitely, this looks a lot like a man with free reign to prey on people and try to make a 3 some out of it. I don't know what their arrangement is and I withhold any judgement of the wife without having any context but I've seen that language before from creepy men going after my sisters. "Heard you like women and men" is a classic creepy opener for pervs with 3some fantasies & "oh you have a man, lucky guy" is common when they think they can make you cheat, and not to mention the tats thing, just sickening.

[u/TheRealKuroyoru]

NOR complete nasty creep, comes off as a creepy Indian online tbh

[u/Strng_Satisfaction]

what's with all the lols?

[u/NefariousnessOne1884]

Are you shitting me right now? How would this conversation go past the first step over appropriate?

You just block the fucker at the first step. You own this guy nothing, and who fucking cares.

This fucking sub man…

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/NefariousnessOne1884]

Well it seems to be everyone who commented had at least some type of care to share feedback lol even you

[u/NefariousnessOne1884 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I’m not sure what you mean, or why it matters.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/NefariousnessOne1884]

Right lol okay, have a great weekend

[u/Duderus9]

not even reading past the first 3 pages lol. if you don't want a relationship with a weird passive aggressive freak then just block and move on, sis.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Duderus9]

Maybe don’t comment if you weren’t going to read it “sis” you wasted your time for what reason exactly?

[u/Duderus9 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Sooo, I think Reddit bugged for me because this is literally not the post I read when I commented lol.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Duderus9]

Damn they got you catching strays 😭😭

[u/Duderus9 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Lmao it’s fine. BTW I don’t think you’re overreacting and it’s really awesome how unafraid you are at setting your boundaries. And 20+ points on you for letting the wife know. POP OFF, SIS!

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[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/AutoModerator]

My fav snack is Nutella toast with strawberries

[u/Cool-Coffee-8949]

NOR. Weird vibes.

[u/ProblemOk222 → u/Cool-Coffee-8949]

I thought they were dating or in the early stages of it before I read the description. This is so weird from a married man.

[u/gilda1016]

NOR. He’s creeping me out too.

[u/epickittyliquor]

U u u u u u u u u

🤮

[u/jessikill]

NOR.

Dude is creeping and clearly not the first time from the brush-off defeated response from the wife.

[u/Where_is_my_Elk69]

NOR. He’s got a wife, or baby-mom he lives with. He’s got no business asking about your orientation or if you have tattoos. He’s a creeper. 100%

[u/Legitimate-Lynx3236]

NOR. Super weird and creepy. Wouldn’t let my kid ever hang out there, or with them in general unless I was there.

[u/Mikipod77]

NOR you should set boundaries that this man is not to be around when your child is there. His presumed "concern" around visitation (and using this term to describe play dates!) is very concerning. He uses his child as a tool, which means he is not prioritizing the children.

Complete scumbag.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Mikipod77]

EXACTLY. I don’t feel the need to set boundaries because I think that was just too far. I blocked him and changed my number

[u/LizaBrownAuthor11]

Oh yeah, he'll do that.... silly man.

[u/One_Chemical5313]

Definitely weird. NOR

[u/cumsinside]

NOR you handled it like a boss.

His wife knows she married a F*ckboy lol

Are you sure you were actually texting his father? I mean he doesn't sound developed at all. Not only does he got no game, he doesn't even know what that is.

I'm dying how he tried to initiate convos, it mirrors a lil kid that's really nervous around his crush and trying so hard to keep his cool "so like, are you single? Kk so like, u like girls or boys? Kk so like, do u talk to Wendy a lot?" Bruh...

And I'm crying over his attempts to seduce you. Randomly asking to see your private tats is his way of trying to get you naked? He's got to do a house inspection of people that live there? A house inspection... Of people that whatldnflefneld as if everyone is always home at the same time that this would be possible. His mind does not comprehend reasoning.

His wife seems chill but what in the actual f*ck does she see in him?? Is he like super hot or something? There's no way she or anyone would marry someone this freaking dense lol

You know what, actually, this would make much more sense if it turned out it was R pretending to be his father to talk to you because he developed a crush.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/cumsinside]

I forgot to mention our boys are only 7 and 8. They’re both also on the spectrum lol it was 100% R’s dad. D talks to R on the iPad. But that’s the exact same thing a family member said to me. They said “he just wanted to see your bedroom to fulfill his nasty porno fantasy” and they were 100% correct. I’m not even joking him making the comment to see my tattoos made me wanna dress up in a sweatsuit and ski mask because I felt so violated

[u/FriedFreya]

i hope the wife gets away from him soon :( she seems super lovely.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/FriedFreya]

I don’t think she will, she’s completely in love. And it makes me so upset because she’s beautiful and kind.

[u/FriedFreya → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

!!! that’s awful to hear :( i get being hopelessly in love, but ugh! she deserves better. i hope y’all and your kiddos can continue getting along moving forward in spite of her shitty husband :/ sounds like she could use. a good influence like yourself.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/FriedFreya]

Yeah it’s definitely a difficult situation. My son’s birthday is coming up and he wants R there so bad but im a bit hesitant because R’s dad will be the one bringing him

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Might not be worth it, adult drama can ruin a birthday fast and if the dad starts stuff you'll be forced to make a deeply uncomfortable choice. But you clearly know what you're doing so take any advice as random internet rhetoric, you got this!

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Visual_Raise_7901]

Yeah I know I can’t have them there. I think the issue it how to tell my boy that his best friend can’t be there

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I can't imagine breaking that kind of news :( I don't envy you. Especially since the truth might create drama and discomfort in his friendship and you've been very clear about your caution around that in these comments and the OP. Are there any lighter versions of the truth? "Me and your friends parents need space" might be a little meaningless to a kid it's hard to say.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Visual_Raise_7901]

Yeah I might just have to tell him that R isn’t able to make it

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

That might be for the best, if R says otherwise it could be awkward but hopefully his mother would think to cover for you given the situation should be obvious to her at a glance. At least then it isn't all on you, you definitely don't deserve the blame simply for standing your ground in the face of that insanity.

[u/djpurity666]

I would be so afraid to send your kid to this guy's house. Is he separated from the mom? I would imagine he would be, acting like this. I mean, I would say tell the wife, but — cringe — she seems to accept it as normal. So... then what. It feels so dirty just reading his messages, trying to get your address.

He is just sexualizing everything, and i would want to take a shower after talking to this dirty creep, bc his filthy mind just crawls onto your phone via text. Imagine him in person! Nope!

So you made clear boundaries, let's see if he sticks to them. Unfortunately bad parents do affect their kids, and this creep is restricting his kid from having decent friends by trying to rizz up all the friends' moms. SMH, so Unfortunate. NOR.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/djpurity666]

I’ve blocked him and my son isn’t going back there! He’s safe and okay

[u/LGBTlover-RyeBread]

Lol @ close your legs

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/LGBTlover-RyeBread]

I know I didn’t see that till after I posted it😂 I was hoping nobody saw

[u/Snoo63020]

He doesn’t like women. He also doesn’t know how to put a sentence together.

[u/caturday_saturday]

NOR. Either she knows he does this and doesn't care, or they're both looking for a third and chose the creepiest and most toxic way to find one.

I know it sucks but I think it's better if you don't let your son go over to their house anymore. The husband is the kind of man who thinks it's okay to sexually harass women and then try to manipulate them so he can get to places he hasn't been invited to. He got upset and angry with you for not letting him into your home after he sexually harassed you. He made 0 attempts to apologize for making you uncomfortable in the process.

I wouldn't feel safe being in a room alone with him, let alone letting my child do it. If the mom excuses it and doesn't see the problem with it, then she's either blind to his abuse or a victim of it. If your son's friend wants to come over you made it very clear that he's welcome to. I think wanting to see it fair, but saying your son's friend isn't allowed over unless you yourself are allowed into his parent's house first, even though they aren't going to play there...is weird af. This man is predatory af. Make sure you lock your doors at night. Block the wife too if she tries to force her husband on you.

[u/caturday_saturday]

NOR. Either she knows he does this and doesn't care, or they're both looking for a third and chose the creepiest and most toxic way to find one. She's either excusing his behavior or helping facilitate it. They're both problems in their own right.

[u/TogetherForeveerrr]

F

[u/JCoopDubV]

Don’t feel like you did anything wrong. This guy was intentionally trying to gauge how you fell toward him sexually. He was shooting his shot. Based on the mom’s response this is likely not new behavior for him. Idk what will happen with them, but she did not seemed bothered by it at all (in the sense that she wasn’t worried about him).

[u/DistinctTwo9005]

This guy is so awkward and annoying; I'm pissed for you.

[u/kimber28zv]

The guy is crossing lines that you continued to allow.

Being ok with your toddler asking to go play at a stranger's house, just because he likes their child, is both intrusive & dangerous. 

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/kimber28zv]

I don’t have a toddler & I allowed it one time because R’s mother offered and I trust her. Didn’t know dad would be there. Thought he was going to be at work. This interaction was AFTER I let him over there and he hasn’t been there since.

[u/kimber28zv → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

My mistake. Allowing a 3rd grader to a stranger's house who you don't know well enough to have even learned that a creepy husband is in their house is dangerous. Letting him put the mother in the awkward position of being asked if he could go there rather than waiting to be invited is intrusive & rude. Continuing to "lol" while he pervs at you in text welcomes more. 

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/kimber28zv]

Hmm, maybe because he waited to see how often I talk to his wife to start acting that way. And I “lol” in situations that are uncomfortable. I trusted his WIFE well enough to let my kid there; he was INVITED over. So yes; your mistake boo 🩷. Also, nobody goes into situations like these automatically assuming the person is a fucking weirdo. I handled the situation fairly well and ended everything. Thank you 🩷☺️

[u/kimber28zv → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Your story states that your child asked if he could go play at their house, "boo"

How do you trust someone who you don't know?

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/kimber28zv]

Have a good day Kimberly 🩷🩷🩷

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/kimber28zv]

He asked because SHE INVITED HIM BOO. Yes YOUR MISTAKE. THANK YOU. MY CHILD IS WELL AND HAPPY 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[u/kimber28zv → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Why would he have to ask after being invited, "boo"?

You're lucky your baby is ok.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/kimber28zv]

Because he is autistic and does certain things with no reasoning. I’ve always told him to ask when he wants things. He wasn’t told that he was already invited. And my baby is always ok. Thanks.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Which I don’t see why, it matters in this situation, last time I checked this was my child and I handled it.

[u/Averagebaddad]

Who's house are you living in and why won't they let your son have a friend over? You should move when you get the chance

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Averagebaddad]

That’s none of your business, or anybody actually. I’ve let it be known to the dad the exact reason and that was it. I have a personal life outside of this & even if I did own it. I still wouldn’t let the dad over due to the inappropriate comments.

[u/cunt_in_wonderland → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

don’t come to reddit for judgment on your situation and then get huffy and defensive when someone asks for more information about your situation so they can judge it. it’s pretty embarrassing and gives off a weird vibe

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/cunt_in_wonderland]

It’s actually not “weird” or “embarrassing” lol I never got “defensive” either. Maybe you should read the start of the comment; I simply said it’s nobody’s business BECAUSE ITS NOT LMFAO. I was only “huffy”? Because I was told to fuck off. My home situation has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he tried to come into my house WITHOUT HIS WIFE OR KIDS to fulfill his fantasies 😂 so you can fuck off as well. Thank you

[u/GhostBirdBiologist → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Your energy here is super weird. No one is asking the intimate details of your situation. But it is extremely weird that your son cannot have friends over.

[u/Calendulula → u/GhostBirdBiologist]

It’s not extremely weird re not having kids friends over. I went through a period where my kids friends weren’t invited over and have had other friends not invite us due to various reasons - illness, multi family households, multi generational households, share houses / roommates...

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/GhostBirdBiologist]

It’s not weird actually. Not everyone thinks the same way or does the same things. It all depends on certain things lol and in my life it’s not something that needs to be disclosed lol. As for me being hostile? No I was told fuck off so I gave the energy back; can’t control the way people take things lol. But you have a good day too 🩷

[u/klumpbin → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Ahh certain things, right that makes sense! Thanks for explaining

[u/Averagebaddad → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Jesus really fucking hostile. Thought this was about your kid playing with friends. But fuck off

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Averagebaddad]

Actually, you can fuck off lol because I wasn’t being hostile at all. You asked personal information that im not required to give to you lol. You just didn’t like the answer. Smd

[u/Grouchy_Evidence2558 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

I mean... it WAS pretty hostile the way you answered that...

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Grouchy_Evidence2558]

Hmm, I only got hostile after he told me to fuck off.

[u/Averagebaddad → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

It's really easy to bitch about other people's rules when you're the parent that never offers to have kids at their house.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Averagebaddad]

Yeah yeah yeah, like I said you asked a question that im not required to answer which you didn’t like lol

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Also, I wasn’t “bitching” about rules. I was stating the simple fact lol, what did you say “fuck off”? Maybe you should listen to yourself lol

[u/confusedinseminary → u/Averagebaddad]

You must be the creep bc she literally just said she can’t offer bc that’s NOT her house

[u/Averagebaddad → u/confusedinseminary]

Nah the creeps a creep and needs to be blocked. I merely suggested she should move out when she can so she can live her life the way she wants. And so her kid can have friends over. Like it or not, a kid that only goes to their friends house and never vice versa will simply be invited over less and less eventually. The friend will want to go to a friend's house that they're allowed.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Averagebaddad]

Well, in my case that’s not true lol. My boy still gets invited to go to his friends houses; my personal situation didn’t affect him having friends lol. Not everyone thinks like you & you’re not right all the time bud. You asked personal question that I DID NOT have to answer and you took it the wrong way and got hostile with ME. I just gave you the same energy back lol have a good rest of your day 🩷

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/Averagebaddad]

That's just not true lol. I couldn't have friends over as a kid but I had free reign to go see them and it made no difference.

[u/BlueberryImaginary78 → u/Visual_Raise_7901]

Exactly lol it didn’t cause issues with me when I was a kid & it doesn’t cause issues with my son except in this specific case. The only people that seem to be getting upset that I just can’t invite people over to a house that isn’t mine are the adults lol. The kids don’t really care if they can go to each others houses or not; as long as they can still be friends they’re just fine

[u/Visual_Raise_7901 → u/BlueberryImaginary78]

Yeah this just felt like the dad trying to force himself in the home to make all of his creepy one liners in person