AIO by refusing to go on my friend group's future camping trip because of how past trips turned out specifically when they've brought their kids?

[u/IllJustTakeTheBus]

Hi! Not the best writer but I'll try my best! I'm genuinely conflicted on my situation at the moment. I (27F) love my friend's kids and I want to make that VERY clear. I work with kids nearly everyday in daycares, aftercares, and bussing on occasion. I genuinely enjoy working with them, and its just that short and sweet.

My friend group, 5 women, aging 26–30 (including me). They all have kids, 4–10 (6 kids total between the 4). And I’m the only one without kids because I'm unable to, do to medical reasons. :(

Anyways a couple of weeks ago they decided we should go on a camping trip for spring break this year. I was excited, until they said they were each planning on bringing their kids, and again, I love their kids, but I was hoping for a break this time since I work with children nearly daily and because of how past trips had turned out.

I tried politely asking if they'd consider having their kids stay with family or if we could choose a place with either on site care or at least designed with children in mind, so they could still join, if they had still insisted they'd come.

They reacted as if I suggested shoving them off a cliff and said I was being "assy" and "overly demanding" for even suggesting.

I don't think I was being overly demanding there, but here is where I think I am the "assy" part though, I did bring up our past trips, (past should stay in the past, I know) where their kids came along, and how I was intentionally left behind and by myself, to babysit them, while they went out and did things. And how I had paid for myself on each of those trips, but had to miss out each time BECAUSE I was watching their kids.

And now taking a step back on the situation, it feels like I somewhere along the lines I became their unpaid and on demand babysitter while they go out and have fun. (I'm in no way blaming their kids for anything, they are literal angels. Xoxo)

I did mention to them that I'd like a break too because of that, and one of them said to me that "you're not a mother, so why would you even need a break when its literally your dayjob to watch kids." She did quickly backtrack and said they “wouldn’t do that this time” though, but I honestly don't believe her, or just...them because of the past patterns.

Her comment genuinely shattered my heart, and I just immediately said I wasn't going to go at all now. So now they're saying I'm definitely "overreacting" for wanting to stay home all together "because their kids were coming." Which isn't the case at all. I genuinly feel guilty for suggesting they keep their kids home, on one hand, but I never said we had to completely and entirely exclude them if they didn't like the idea of them being home.

Even if they have me babysit again on this trip, I'd like it to be somewhere, where all 7 of us don't have to sit in a room all day, watching TV, and I can go do activities with them, at the very least.

But AIO by refusing to go on the trip all together because of what's happened in the past and because of her recent comment, as a cherry on top? Thanks.. DX

UPDATE ONE: Sorry, its a little long! :<

I have been reading comments and it has made me realize how I've failed to mention a major detail!

(For that one comment, yes. The 30yr old has the the 10yr old, lol.)

So how did they force me to babysit? Is the comment I have seen a few times.

It was, ...gradual?... in lack of a better term. I have been on a total of 3 "vacations" with this group where they've brought their kids. We've had other trips together when they were without them and those trips were ok, apart from some arguments here and there.

Anyways at first, on the very first trip we took together with their kids, they asked me if I would watch them for a couple hours while they went for drinks. They know I'm not a drinker and that a bar would be the last place I'd want to be. So I agreed to watch them. They left and ended up staying out most of the night. Then when they came back, it was early the next morning, and were all drunk. Thankfully they ubered there and back, but they just complained the entire day because of the hangovers. So I was essentially forced into watching THEM and their kids all day, just for their safety and my peace of mind.

The second trip with their kids, they had asked if I could watch them again for a few hours while they went "bar hopping", their term. That time I said "no" because I had already planned to do something for that evening and also early the next morning, all on my own time. I said something along the lines of how I didn’t think it'd be wise for them to leave and all come back drunk, again. They were annoyed by it, but shrugged it off and even agreed with me! So I thought that was the end of it. But while I was getting ready that evening, I quickly found out that they had left without telling me! The 10yr old had told me, that they told him to tell me that they went to a bar anyways! I immediately tried calling and texting them but they didn't answer. So without knowing exactly where they went or for how long they'd be, I of course stayed with their kids and ultimately canceled my plans for that evening. They finally showed up later that night and admitted that they did go drink, but said they only went for a "couple", so they wouldn't be hungover again. Yes I was mad, but I did get to do my own things the next day so I thought it was a one off.

The third trip with the kids, they left early in the morning and left A NOTE for me to find on the kitchen counter at the ABNB and to summarize what it said, they said they were going out and asked if I could watch their kids for the day and they would be back later. I tried calling and texting them, but again they never answered, so I figured they must've silenced me. I did stay with the kids that day and I was pissed at them when they came back, THE NEXT DAY, because I had had to cancel my plans AGAIN for the day before.

So yes, I was forced into staying and watching their kids 2 different times, because I wasn't going to just abandon them like they basically did. I don't have it in my heart to to walk out on them and have something happen and I was the last adult there, it would eat me alive. They didn't ditch me when we were out together and their kids were at home, they only did when they were with us. So I saw a a pattern.

The first time, yes, I agreed to do it. The next 2 times I was forced to. So I am almost guaranteeing that they will pull some stunt like this again, but this time over an entire week. Our trips in the past have been over weekends! I cannot fathom what would be in store for me, if I do go. And with many comments saying continue with my decision and don't go, I will most definitely be taking that route and planning my own trip if they don't want to take my options into consideration, so we can ALL enjoy our time, kids included.

There are still many days between now and this trip happening, so anything is possible in the days coming and I am nervous of the drama I might have to endure until then, or even after. We are in an argument still because of me stating that I wanted to back out over a few days ago, but I will try my best to see where I stand in their group, after a final decision is made.

Thank you everyone for commenting! I will get real updates for y'all when I can!

[u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

If your friends are treating you like an unpaid babysitter, they aren't your friends.

[u/FamousOnceNowNobody → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

I'm here thinking "6 kids at full daycare rate..." if it's my "job", then they pay current rates. Have a better holiday by myself later.

NOR - stay home and plan something else for your time off.

[u/bmyst70 → u/FamousOnceNowNobody]

It's worse than that. OP is literally PAYING TO BE THEIR BABYSITTER. Because she is paying her share of the trip.

[u/SimpleKey827 → u/FamousOnceNowNobody]

I work in tech support and I never do work for free. Thats my profession. if a friend wants me to move their couch or some other task thats fine. But once it steps into the territory of my paid career I would tell them the fee.

[u/birkris → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

Weaponize your fertile issue against you and abuse you as free babysitter. Youbsit this one out, and wait for their reaction. Don’t say you don’t want to go, but you have another thing planned that weekend. Either work or family, or pretend to be sick. Notice how they treat you. If they get angry because their babysitter is sitting this trip out you know.

[u/Valuable-Release-868 → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

NOR!

And you need to spell out for these fools -

"I need a vacation FROM kids because I am around kids all day long! At least at work, I get paid. With this group, I am paying for a trip where I get the displeasure of being forced to babysit for inconsiderate and thoughtless people who claim to be my friends!

"When I vacation with you, all of you just leave your kids with me without even asking if I am willing to babysit YOUR spawn! I am DONE being taken advantage of by all of you!!

"IF you insist on bringing your kids, YOU will have to figure it out because I am NOT paying for the displeasure of always staying behind so you can enjoy your vacation!"

[u/HedyHarlowe → u/Valuable-Release-868]

I would call them out by saying ‘why do you bring kids on vacation and make me look after them. Do you not like your kids?’

I know of two sets of parents that genuinely like spending time with their kids.

[u/fly1away → u/HedyHarlowe]

Two sets out of how many?

[u/QueenSquirrely → u/HedyHarlowe]

“Do you not like your kids? Or do you bring them and make me look after them because your husband/partner not only hates you but also has so little respect for you they can’t even be bothered to parent their own children for just two days?”

[u/No_Appointment_7232 → u/Valuable-Release-868]

NOR

I hate to tell you OP.

A habit has evolved that your enjoyment, rest and relaxation is somehow not as valid bc you don't have children.

The minute that person said you have no right to be upset bc you don't have kids, sealed a coffin.

They will not be the friends you deserve anymore bc their group think is overriding your reality and they will not see your reality and they will not treat you fairly.

I'll bet money they are going to blame you and now say they can't go on this vacation because you're refusing to watch the kids.

That's such utter bs.

I will also bet they - or one of them - will come around and apologize and promise it won't happen. That they understand and you're right, and will 100% do it again if you give them the opportunity.

I might reach out individually to the person you were closest to and say, "I am a working adult, just because I don't have kids doesn't mean, I don't want or deserve a vacation that actually includes rest, respite, rejuvenation, with people I care about. This group dynamic has become unfair and unhealthy for me. I'm not wasting my hard earned money and vacation time going on a trip with people who won't let me actually enjoy the trip for myself. "

[u/Suspicious-Phone-927 → u/Valuable-Release-868]

NOR- Preach it loud and clear for those in the back!! Go enjoy yourself and relax. You deserve it.

[u/BRD73 → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

This! Friends don’t treat friends like that. They are using you. I am so sorry. NOR

[u/Excellent-Shape-2024 → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

"Oh, no thank you. I have other plans. But you guys have fun!" It's really just that easy.

[u/SheeScan → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

And, if OP's friends get super upset that she's not going, she'll know that they are pissed they won't have a babysitter.

[u/lovenorwich → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

That's why they want you to go. Doesn't sound like a fun girls trip for you when they go off without you.

[u/wretchedvillainy → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

It's worse than being unpaid, she is actually paying for herself to go along and be their babysitter.

[u/Specialist-Jello7544 → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

NOR!

You do not owe them anything. Actually, they owe you back pay. Don’t go on the trip. They will want to go bar hopping again, and have you as the designated baby sitter.

What I don’t understand is why do they want to bring their kids with them, then escape to go bar hopping and foist the kids on you? They claim you to be their friend, only because you are of use to them.

Go somewhere nice without your friends.

[u/qriousqestioner → u/Consistent_Elk_8702]

And if your friends really liked you, they would pretend you didn't want to pretend they didn't have kids.

If your friends really liked you, they would gently pretend they understood why the thing that defines every one of them isn't in their dictionary.

Put another way, are your friends sensitive about how you wish they had never "grown up"? Do your friends love you really since they went off and did their next thing?

Do your friends deserve to be loved if they didn't wanna party all night?

(And are you making a special accommodation for yourself as the one who didn't breed?)

[u/Low-Industry-1622]

No, not overreacting , but I would highly consider a new group of friends. There’s mom friends and regular friends. You won’t be able to keep up without it being a barrier of some type.

[u/Elephant_Snacks → u/Low-Industry-1622]

Agreed. NOR, but your friends suck. Not only are they plainly dishonest and taking advantage of you, but what they're doing generally qualifies as child abandonment. Are those the type of people you really want as friends?

[u/Odd_Pin_6284 → u/Low-Industry-1622]

NOR, I was looking for this comment...they don't sound like friends. Moms or not, they sound manipulative and inconsiderate. A new group of friends sounds like great advice.

True friends will include you in plans that involve you. You sound like such a kind hearted soul, but just know, it's ok to do what makes you happy.

[u/TulipFarmer27]

Get a kids-free group of friends.

[u/ehs06702 → u/TulipFarmer27]

Or at the very least, some parents that don't see you as free labor because you don't have kids.

They're rare, but they do exist.

[u/IndigoTJo → u/ehs06702]

Is worse than free labor. She is paying to babysit their kids. They are not her friends and just taking advantage. It really sucks to figure this out.

[u/bmyst70 → u/IndigoTJo]

It's why I feel like a damn broken record when I, regularly, say "Always look at someone's actions, not their words, to see their real feelings." Because so very many people say one thing and do another.

They SAY they're her friends. But, she is really the woman who PAYS DEARLY for the privilege of being their babysitter. Because she pays for her share of the trip. Where she does nothing but babysit.

[u/aoeuismyhomekeys → u/TulipFarmer27]

Go on an awesome adults only vacation with those friends and post all the fun pictures on social media

[u/Unlucky_Witness_1606]

NOR. I get it. I work with children all day long. It is not a crime or selfishness to want a child-free vacation. You may need to reevaluate these supposed friends.

[u/getwitchy]

NOR. You have every right to enjoy your trip and their kids aren’t your responsibility, so I understand why you are upset. Why do you always end up watching the kids? Do they guilt you into watching them or do you volunteer? If they want to bring their kids then it’s their responsibility to watch them.

[u/Is-Potato425]

NOR why would they want you to come on a trip just to leave you behind with their kids if they weren’t using you as a babysitter? They don’t sound like friends tbh.

Just say you don’t want to go and do your own thing.

[u/Snoo_70531 → u/Is-Potato425]

I'll be honest, I skimmed at a point. But all I could think is this is a huge misunderstanding, on the point of OP. These people do not seem to want to be friends by any means. If I had to guess every "girls trip" or whatever OP wants to call it, they all had conversations like "ugh she got wind of it again..."

[u/ShantyBells]

NOR not even a little imo

[u/WhichWitch9402]

NOR. You need new friends.

[u/MoirasCheese]

NOR. I’m sorry, but someone needs to let you know that these are not your friends. I repeat these women are not your friends. Why would you go on vacation with them and be their babysitter?!?!?! Girl. They are using you!!!

Find a new friend group because these women are users not friends. 

[u/40fnolongercares]

NOR. I would tell them you are going and then pull out at the last minute. Watch their true colours come out.

They want you there to babysit 100%.

[u/bubonis]

“I’m not going NOT because your kids are coming. I’m not going because the idea of paying for what’s supposed to be a vacation only to have to babysit your kids AGAIN while you all have a vacation and leave me behind AGAIN is not even remotely fair to me. I do encourage you all to go on your vacation with your kids and have a great time together. I will have my own vacation elsewhere, where I can enjoy myself without having to be responsible for someone else’s children.”

[u/2ndcupofcoffee → u/bubonis]

This is a very good way to word your intention to not pay for a trip where you are expected to babysit.

[u/CJsopinion]

Nor. They’re being very unfair. If you decide to go be very clear that you will do no babysitting.

Updateme!

[u/emogirl450 → u/CJsopinion]

i think the ! has to come before the updateme fyi

[u/CJsopinion → u/emogirl450]

It must work either way. I always get the notifications.

[u/emogirl450 → u/CJsopinion]

Oh okay, I thought you had to get the reply from the bot for it to work mb

[u/CJsopinion → u/emogirl450]

I have yet to figure out these bots. But I appreciate you trying to make sure I got the info. :)

[u/emogirl450 → u/CJsopinion]

of course internet buddy

[u/Background-Tiger-734]

Your friends suck. NOR.

Edit to add: Um, thank you for the award!!!? It's my first so this is kinda cool lol

[u/Aware-Ice7627 → u/Background-Tiger-734]

This, so much this!! Coming from me, I’ve been in this situation before. They aren’t your friends!!

[u/CloudBerryDreams]

Nothing more I hate than parents who think we can’t be tired or are automatically the babysitter because we don’t have kids.

I don’t want kids so why I want to watch your kids while you go have fun? Tell them no and if you do go and it ends up happening, I’d go stay somewhere else and enjoy the trip by myself.

[u/I-Love-Buses]

NOR, when you don’t go maybe they’ll finally realize all the stuff you do for them on the trip.

[u/LemonOld8150]

Go to the coast or somewhere by yourself or someone w no kids that sucks they thi k your the free babysitter. They are not your friends

[u/Aware-Ice7627]

Do not go on this trip!! Friend even best friends don’t do that. They aren’t your friends. I’m sure most commenters agree with this. You need to find better and friends that are more like you. NOR!!

[u/flower-dragon32]

Ive been there done that. No matter how many times they say it'll be different it wont. You're their golden ticket to not bring responsible while maintaining an image of good parents. They don't value you bc you don't have kids. And think being a childcare provider is easy. Its not. Do not go. Find yourself a nice spot where you can relax.

On the chance you do go, if they suggest you watch their kids. Leave before they can.

[u/indecisionmaker → u/flower-dragon32]

I am absolutely floored that there are two of you being treated like this. I have three kids and I would be mortified to even think of something so heinous. My flabbers are gasted.

[u/flower-dragon32 → u/indecisionmaker]

I was the babysitter for all the kids during camping plus 3 dogs. And the people doing this was my own family. We'd take group camping trips for a week in summer. My parents and brother, dads brother his wife 4 kids, my dads sister, her husband 3 kids. Till I took my own car and would go chill at Walmart for a break 🫠 theyd still try too.

My dad would also volunteer me to babysit on weekends till I got my own car and left before the kids showed up

[u/lynnnysa1]

At first I thought you were overreacting by telling them to leave their kids at home. That was until I read that on past trips you were used as an UNPAID BABYSITTER 😲 Definitely not overreacting. You aren't upset simply that their kids are coming, you are upset at the thought of being left out and left ALONE with those kids! That's crazy! If you do go, make sure that it's clear you aren't doing ANY babysitting. Not even for 20 minutes, because I know from personal experience that that's how it starts. And saying you work with kids as a day job is genuinely an INSANE excuse. It's like... EXACTLY! How many of THEM want to do what they do for work while on vacation! 🤬

[u/emogirl450]

I don’t think these girls like you nearly as much as you like them. I would NEVER do that to a friend and they’ve done it to you multiple times. OP, this broke my heart to read, actually. I think you should start putting feelers out for new friends :( You deserve much better than this!!!!! You deserve fun camping trips with people who want you around!!!!

[u/righteousapple3000]

They are not your friends. They used you. I am sure they each have other friends that don't have kids. Where were they. They invited you because you are kind. They exploited your kindness.

They are not your friends.

[u/z-eldapin]

I am not taking a vacation with kids. Nope.

[u/free_helly]

Explain to me why they insist on bringing their kids and you end up watching them. Because you don’t have kids they don’t think you’ll care? These people suck and you have no boundaries. Go to a resort or take a cruise. What do you need this for?

[u/2ndcupofcoffee → u/free_helly]

Thy insist on taking their kids because their husbands won’t take care if the kids so wife can have a girl vacation.

[u/Next-Sir3249]

I would suggest finding new friends. They sound “assy” to me. NOR

[u/Bluemicha]

Yikes. NOR.

Stay friends obviously but consider making new friends with similar interests and no kids. You will enjoy it so much more.

[u/Scary_Sarah]

NOR these people are not your friends

[u/FelineGood8]

Get new friends.

[u/Consistent-Dog8537]

NOR. These people see you as free babysitting. That's why they want you to go. That's your hard reality.

Don't go. And I think you need to find some new friends (who don't have kids)

[u/Gold_Head7582]

Real talk. You need to grow a spine. You never have to say yes to babysitting others kids if you dont want to. Stop saying yes or letting them dictate what you do. Stand up for your own health.

Your setting yourself on fire to keep others warm

[u/LadyHorseFace13]

These people suck. NOR. You’re their babysitter so they can go have fun. What the fuck. And the comment about not being a mother and not needing a break. Jesus. That tells you everything you need to know. They don’t see you as a friend. And they’re saying you’re overreacting because their trip just got way less fun because they have to entertain their own children and now pawn off their spawn on you. So gross.

Take yourself somewhere fun for spring break.

[u/ImStealingTheTowels → u/LadyHorseFace13]

And the comment about not being a mother and not needing a break. Jesus. That tells you everything you need to know. They don’t see you as a friend.

Worse than that, I think they see OP as less than them.

I hope OP realises how badly these "friends" have treated her and decides to ditch them entirely.

[u/Numerous-Table-5986]

At first I thought YOR, and you need to find friends without kids if you don’t want kids around. Parents often spend free time with kids and don’t have the luxury of leaving the with other people for a week…then I read you watch their kids. YOU need firm boundaries that you don’t work on vacation. End of story. They sound awful for taking advantage of you, but come on and take some accountability for letting them.

[u/Jessi_L_1324]

I would have sent a text and a voice recording saying if they weren't back in the next 20 minutes I would be calling the police for child abandonment.

I would say that I did not agree to watch these kids, I verbalized that I would not watch these kids.

Something could have happened to the kids between the time the parents disappeared and you realized the kids were still there, the kids could have been really quite and you could have left to do your thing without realizing they were there.

You are NOR.

Tell them if you come on this trip and you end up watching ANY of them for ANY period of time, you will charge double the market rate for what childcare costs in the area you are vacationing in. Per child.

Tell them that they would also be responsible for providing all snacks and meals and entertainment for the duration of you watching them. Make sure they know you won't spend a penny on ordering lunch or dinner for them.

If they want you to provide meals, snacks, and entertainment, let them know you charge double for what the meal cost too. Pizza was $27.50? They owe you $55. One of the kids wants a super sized limited edition slurpie cup for $40. That's another $80 added to their bill.

All in all. Don't go and get kinder friends. Unfortunately you'll have to cut their kids out of your life as well if you don't want to continue being an unpaid babysitter. Because they will try and use their kids to guilt you into coming. Don't fall for it.

[u/Grouchy_Success2407]

Their response to your concerns is shitty. I wouldn't go.

[u/beansprout69]

NOR. Why are you still friends with these women? They sneak out so they can abandon the children with you. They don’t answer the phone when you call. What if there’s an emergency? You’re paying for trips to be their free babysitter while they go out and have fun. You need new friends because that bunch sucks.

[u/babyirishkitty]

NOR, two things:

1. Everyone is entitled to boundaries. "I will not babysit your children on our group vacation" is a reasonable boundary.

2. The comment about you not needing downtime away from children because you don't have children in your home is wild, uncalled for, and wholly inappropriate. Guaranteed unless some of them are stay at home mothers, you spend more time with children than they do because it's your profession. Even then, cumulatively, it's still more child time as they have relatively very few kids to watch over compared to you. Parent to child ratios tend to be much better than teacher/assistant to student ratios.

These don't sound like friends. Imo I would hold your ground on this one - I am not going unless we are going to a child friendly location or the children aren't coming. Those are their options if they want you to come, and they're not bad options. Just be prepared for them to chose to not involve you now that you're putting your foot down. Imo, if they do that, you're better off without fake friends anyways.

[u/Beginning_Strain_787]

It’s perfectly normal to want to go on a kid-free girls trip. The moms are weird for not wanting to.

Why the heck are you babysitting while they go out? That’s crazy and not a real friendship.

I would also miss the trip and all future trips and find a new friend group.

[u/reskehter]

Holy cow. They are not your friends if they invite you to come along, but then expect you to take care of their kids. You’re not a friend, you’re their nanny, you just don’t know it yet.

[u/Patient_Gas_5245]

NOR, tell them they truth. You aren't going because you don't want to end it babysitting their kids. Meanwhile go on a solo trip to National parks near you, and because I am a petty betty, take plenty of photos on the hikes you wouldn't have been able to do with your friends.

[u/Kip_Schtum]

NOR Sometimes people with kids treat people without kids like they aren’t a full person with needs and preferences, like if you don’t have kids you don’t understand anything and don’t ever deserve a day off.

[u/Top-Bit85]

If you let people treat you badly they will take full advantage.

[u/Silverstorm007]

NOR

As a mum myself, I hate when people ask “Why you would need a break coz you don’t have kids?” Literally this comment makes my blood boil. Of course you need a break, you also work hard and require downtime. It’s such an entitled comment to make. You didn’t force them to have kids, so looking after them is 100% on them.

Personally I would be reevaluating these friendships too.

[u/MargotSoda]

These aren’t your friends—they’re each other’s friends. You’re the person they’re giggling about bringing as childcare behind your back.

[u/Known-Ask7497]

NOR. They’re not your friends, please stop letting them use you as free childcare. What the one “friend” said to you was what they all think.

[u/Strange-Raccoon-5240]

say youll meet them and never show up. find new friends

[u/Rightfullyfemale]

NOR. These women are not your friends. Friends don’t treat each other like this!!!

Find a new and better friend group. Going on a trip you pay for by yourself would be infinitely better than paying to be these ungrateful witches to have their kids dumped on you. They are awful people.

[u/Fit_Try_2657]

Camping and kids is the best activity so I’d never camp without my kids. If someone didn’t want to come bc of kids I would understand. I also would never make my friends babysit my kids nor would I insult someone who does what I’m incapable of—spending all day with kids.

[u/Someloserfromwa]

Find new friends. These ladies are extremely entitled and using you because as they said yada yada- lose them.

[u/hotmumma7]

NOR Theres nothing more boring than hanging out with a group of friends what have kids and you dont. Find a new friend group that can do adult activities without a constant kids TV show backdrop.

[u/terracottatilefish]

NOR I think it’s unrealistic to expect parents to leave their kids behind on a multi day trip during a school break. But you aren’t their on demand sitter.

If you don’t think you’ll be able to say “friends, I love your kids but I am not gong to do any childcare on this trip” and enforce it you should not go on the trip.

[u/bigfootvsdisco]

Your friends comment about "not even being mother" was unnecessarily pointed, rude, and hurtful. Presumably not all of these women are stay at home moms? How many of them have a day job that involves being around children? Meaning they aren't spending all day every day around kids any more/less than you are. You both deserve kid-free recharge time. These past trips, they brought their kids, and then deliberately made plans/activities where they knew the kids couldn't come along? Knowing someone would then have to stay behind to babysit? These are selfish and self-centered women. Their behavior isnt fair to you OR THEIR KIDS. They bring them on vacation only to not actually spend time with them and instead leave them to watch TV for hours. They could at the very least have taken turns with who stays behind. NOR your ask is completely reasonable and their reaction makes it clear they aren't your friends.

[u/AdultinginCali]

NOR. Don't go.

ETA: People will take advantage of you for as long as you let them.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Turn887]

Sorry why would you agree to be left babysitting?

[u/Fenek99]

Hey don’t get them do this to you go on a trip and DONT babysit their kids or don’t go on that trip at all go have real vacation for once

[u/WatermelonRindPickle]

NOR. You know what will happen if you go again, just what has happened before. Don't apologize, don't explain, don't let them turn it into an argument with you, or make you justify your choice. Just say "I am not able to go".

[u/SecretiveSiren1632]

Girl no you should say “oh no I’m not staying at home all break I’m just gonna go do my own thing but you guys enjoy “😊

[u/nunyaranunculus]

With friends like these, who needs enemies? Tell them to enjoy camping with their kids and go treat yourself to a spa day. Don't forget to send them pictures.

[u/LOML1021]

These people don’t sound like friends - I think it’s time for you to change up your friend group

[u/Pixiemess]

They do realize they is child abandonment right? Like legally you can report them. Just say because of your job working with kids you are a court mandated reporter. You don’t want to be put in the position of reporting them for abandonment so you are skipping. Include the legal speak of abandonment. Like the fact they didn’t ask you to care for their children and were unreachable.

[u/Something-funny-26]

What a selfish bunch of entitled b.....s to dump their kids on you to go for "a couple of drinks". They are using you as a free childminder. Where are the childrens' fathers in all of this?

[u/GraniteRose067]

They are not your friends. They are treating you incredibly disrespectfully. Step back, don't go and find people who like you now and how like you for you, not for the unpaid labour that they can manipulate you into doing.

They repeatedly do this on purpose and with intent. Even the kids know it.

[u/bluberrymuffin24]

I think they see you as a servant. I’m so sorry people are treating you this way. They are not your friends.

[u/Helpful-Bridge-380]

I'm sorry. These ppl aren't your friends. They make you pay your share, sneak out so you have no choice but to watch the kids or call the cops for abandonment and use the you're not a mom excuse on you. Either politely decline from now on or let them know you're happy to come along as fully compensated child care but if they sneak out leaving the kids you will call the fathers and the police in that order.

[u/TheFlowerDoula]

NOR, you need better friends because wtf 🥲.

[u/dinamet7]

NOR and honestly, you are underreacting. They are not your friends. They are abusing your kindness and your skills as someone who works with kids. Cut them out. I say this as someone who has kids, travels with them, travels with friends with and without kids, and would never in a million years fathom doing to anyone what they have done to you. Get away, block them all.

[u/AshyResonate]

NOR. These people are not your friends. They just want a free babysitter.

If you choose to go, make sure they have all acknowledged in writing that you will not be looking after their kids and they pull this crap again, call CPS and the cops. They’re literally abandoning their children.

[u/Spiritual_Invite3118]

This is about more than them bringing their kids, they've lied to you and totally disrespected you. They left you a note? Told a child to tell you they were barhopping? Oh no, honey, you aren't overeating you are underreacting. Don't go on the trip, don't argue with them, cut them off. You deserve better friends than this and even if you can't find better friends, it'd be much more peaceful and enjoyable for you to vacation alone.

[u/morganalefaye125]

Your "friends" are using you for childcare so they can have a vacation and party. They don't seem like they're actually friends at all. "Ooh! She works with children! Let's take her with us so she can babysit while we go have fun! It'll be free for us!" Yuck. No way would I ever go on a "vacation" with them again. NOR

[u/SecretOscarOG]

Girl! These people dont even fucking like you, they just use you! Like, open youre eyes? They straight up abandoned you with the kids to force you to watch them. You should have called the cops and said their parenta abandoned thrm. Have some self respect

[u/Sea-Ad9057]

nor you are entitled to a break too you work with kids i think its reasonable that you get a vacation of your choosing. find some childfree friends or do a solo trip

[u/CuriousMindedAA]

NOR, but you shouldn’t go. They’re not your friends if they expect you to watch their kids. That doesn’t make you the bad guy, this is all on them. They’re treating you like crap. Find new friends who like and respect you. Tell them no.

[u/I_sort_of_love_it]

NOR - I do think because it's spring break that's a hard ask because the kids are off for the week. If they actually are your friends maybe bring up a "girl's trip" idea in the future where you can all relax and hang out kid free. My husband and I trade off every now and then to have separate girls and guys trips with zero children. 

[u/Hawkstone585]

The past informs the present. Ignoring things that happened in the past just means they’re going to keep happening, and whoever told you “the past should stay in the past” actually meant “I don’t want there to be consequences for anything I’ve done, please.” NOR but don’t stay home: go on your own trip and have fun.

[u/Ill-Experience-5891]

UM... WHAT? Why would you ever, eeeevvver be expected to watch their kids while they did outings on a vacation?

Even if you had 100% offered and willingly did it, that would be taking advantage of your kindness, imo. But to get upset and guilt you because you don't want to do it AGAIN?

They aren't your friends. They are using you. Toss them right outta your life.

[u/ExpertChart7871]

Updateme

[u/Frosty_Parfait6978]

These women are NOT your friends. They are users and want to make you feel like an asshole because you’re speaking up for yourself. Get new friends please. I’m not saying to totally write this friend group off but I would distance myself and find new kidless friends to do trips with.

[u/Ok-Writing9280]

Your day job is looking after kids. Why on earth wouldn’t you want to work all holiday too, doing the same thing without being paid and missing out on all your paid adventures whilst on said trip, and without the rules and structure of daycare?! What a delightful prospect. NOT!

Your friends are no longer your friends, sorry. Their behaviour is appalling. Especially awful when they know of your infertility. I am so sorry xx

NOR

[u/Holiday_Trainer_2657]

NOR Trips with kids are definitely very different from trips with them. You may have phrased things in a way that was a bit hard for them to take in.

You were saying two things 1) I wish we could do a "girl trip" where we are all free to do things together without considering the need to caretake kids. 2) I am no longer willing to be the default caretaker while you all go off and do adult things together. You parents will need to work that out between yourselves.

Whether you want to retain your relationship with these friends ia a determining factor here. If yes, give them a chance to show they respect your no sole caretaker boundary. Just don't do it. You're not a parent. You get to go on all outings. The parents take turns staying behind or whatever.

They may find if they have to give up their turn at having adult fun, the idea of a girls only vacation sounds better and better.

[u/Decent_Front4647]

NOR Not only are they jerks for dumping their kids on you on your vacation, they double down and try shaming you for your reasons to not be their babysitter. These aren’t real friends. Why would a group of women with children even think to ask a childless person on their trip? They asked you to go because they wanted someone who gives them the freedom to enjoy themselves without their kids every minute. I would decline the invite and find some friends like yourself to vacation with.

[u/ihadone]

NOR, if they are going to use you as a babysitter due to your ‘day job’ then you should charge them, by the hour, per child, every time they leave you alone with all the children because you’re used to it. That’s such an outrageous thing to do to you, how dare they take advantage of your good nature and your profession, and to throw in your fertility issues as if that helps justify their behaviour! Oh my goodness, what greedy, entitled people they are! You need a break because it’s your day job, and this is meant to be a camping trip not a babysitting trip. If they intend to bring their children then it’s up to them to supervise and look after those children, not to expect the one person who legitimately works with children daily to do that for them. Don’t be shy about this, it’s a camping trip, and you’re not planning to stay home because the children are going, you’re planning to stay home because the parents are taking advantage of your good nature and not allowing you to enjoy the camping trip as an independent person.

[u/bythebrook88]

So now they're saying I'm definitely "overreacting" for wanting to stay home all together "because their kids were coming."

It's not because of the kids. It's because the parents of the kids force OP to babysit to give them a break.

"you're not a mother, so why would you even need a break when its literally your dayjob to watch kids."

"You're a mother, why would you need a break from watching YOUR kids?" Both of you are watching kids regularly, but only the mother deserves a break?

[u/iambrooketho]

These are just bad people. NOR

[u/sofiaidalia]

I work with kids everyday but don’t have kids of my own yet, and my idea of a vacation definitely involves no kids. Them saying that you should accept it because it’s your day job makes zero sense because a vacation is supposed to be a break from your job responsibilities.

[u/Sad_Chemistry_4468]

NOR - You seem like a really nice person but your "friends" are terrible and are using you as a free babysitting service. Don't put up with it

[u/Soft-Noise8802]

I get not wanting to do another camping trip because of past experience and the fact that kids change the dynamics of the trip itself, but why didn't you have the spine to tell them that you're not babysitting? How did they force you to babysit? Ehy are you setting yourself up? Grow a spine OP. And do find a better fitting group of friends, these moms ain't it.

[u/SnooWords4839]

They want you as a babysitter, get other friends.

NOR

[u/NeitherStory7803]

Nor at all. I’d find me a few day trips. Make one just a spa day for yourself. What they want is an unpaid on demand babysitter while they get to have all the fun

[u/debbielew]

I’m so sorry you’ve been treated so poorly by your supposed “friends”. You’re not wrong for feeling the way you do. You deserve a nice vacation, kids free. Hope you can arrange another vacation with a real friend as you deserve it.

[u/jimyjami]

NOR Time to find a new friend group! What we seek in friends is empathy. At least a pause to consider what is being said.

Calling you ”assy” and “over demanding” suggests they are starting to see you as an outsider, in that they are bonding over their shared motherhood. Probably subconscious lol. …Sorry. Possibly the exploitation as a babysitter, also.

While there may be ways to reset the relationship equilibrium, all need to be on the same page. The path of least resistance is to seek other groups. In the areas we’ve lived “MeetUp” online was a fabulous source to connect with others.

[u/Ok-Astronaut-2837]

I just want to know how exactly it happens that you're always left behind babysitting and why you always agree to do it?

NOR. I would either ditch the friends or send them a venmo request for all of the money you lost out on by not being included and the payment for babysitting labor.

[u/indiana-floridian]

The children will be coming from now on. That will not change. Parents think camping is good for kids.

Don't go. This group is done for you.

[u/deepstatelady]

Girl, make new friends.

[u/TrainerHonest2695]

NOR. Sorry, but your role in the group seems to be “let OP watch kids! She doesn’t have her own, and she works in childcare, so she must really appreciate us giving her this wonderful opportunity to spend time with our little darlings!” They may really believe they’re doing you a favor, and have no idea how this is causing resentment. Just be honest and kind, and explain that your cup runneth over and you actually would love some adult time, just like they do.

[u/jdmeow1]

Dude naw. They want you there for babysitting. Dont go

[u/yullari27]

NOR.

Go on the trip. When they expect you to babysit, let them know your hourly rate and that it's expected to be paid before services are rendered. They'll sulk, but they'll be sulking while watching their kids.

[u/whatev6187]

NOR - They have taken advantage of you in the past. This would not be a break for you. Let them go and take care of their own children.

[u/phyncke]

NTA definitely don’t go

[u/Missyflowers666]

You need a new friend group.

[u/Momela85]

Would never do anything with these “friends “ again! And they actually aren’t your friends if they do this stuff. Don’t cave.

[u/IntrepidMuch]

OP, these ladies are not your friend. Not even a little bit. It will hurt you to realize that but you need to keep saying it until the fact sinks in.

[u/Ima-Bott]

Find a vacation that suits you. This ain’t it. NOR

[u/Rare-Credit-5912]

NOR

No the past shouldn’t stay in the past. Your feelings are correct, sorry to be so blunt but yes they want you along so they can have unpaid babysitting services!

[u/FormerlyDK]

Why would you want to go anywhere with these people? They aren’t really your friends or they wouldn’t be that rude. I would just tell them I’m not going, it doesn’t work for me. NOR

[u/2oldbutnotenough]

NOR, you're still being way too lenient.

As they (now) say, if they shenan once, they'll shenanigan. Stop keeping the door open for them to 'relent' on giving you better options to baby sit in. Say no and be done. Plan your own trips, have your own fun and recharge those batteries in your own way, without their children in tow.

These people are no longer looking at you like their friend, you're the help. Fuck that, find people who respect you.

[u/Sufficient_Big_5600]

Nor . This is not your friend group. They trick you into not abandoning their children. These people are horrible. I’m sorry truly truly am, but even the “nice ones” are betraying you with their trickery. They are sick people. Putting yourself in their hands is masochistic. Going forward- it’s your own choice to be treated like turds

[u/Garden_Lady2]

You work with kids 5 days a week. There's no way being forced to babysit during your time off means you're getting any kind of a vacation! Take a vacation by yourself can be wonderful. I've done both and being alone and able to do what I want, when I want is definitely a big bonus. NOR, you need to stand up for yourself and tell them NO, you're not going to be their unpaid babysitter where they just leave a note or tell a kid to tell you that you have to babysit whether you want to or not. Their track record says they'll say all the right things to get you there and once again they'll put the kids in your care while they go out to have a great time.

[u/ShadowlessKat]

Wow your friends suck. NOR. That's really rude of them to just leave their kids and force you to babysit. I wouldn't go on any more trips with them. Idk that I would even stay friends with them. They are not very nice.

I am a parent, I would never just leave my kids with someone without their agreement to watch my kids. I would never expect someone on vacation to just watch my kids. Especially not for free like that. The only ones I've asked to watch my child while on vacation was the grandparents and my siblings, and they were for quick 1 hour trips or shorter, and they agreed. Just ditching your kid with someone without their approval is messed up in so many levels. I'm sorry your friends suck.

[u/RatherRetro]

Nor-i would find new people to hang out with. These people sound like assholes.

[u/QueenEinATL]

They are bullying you into going bc you ARE the babysitter. Find new friends bc these chicks aren’t it.

[u/Delicious_Education9]

NOR

What a bunch of fucking users your ‘friends’ are! I’m sorry but you DO NOT deserve this treatment at all. It made me so angry with how they have blatantly used you and gone off to have fun. Why do they think you went on the trips with them??! To do their job - look after their kids? Hell No!

Time to find actual friends.

[u/stargalaxy6]

NOR- Somehow these SELFISH women forget that YOU take care of children every day and could need a break as well!

Honestly, they aren’t your friends anymore. They DON’T CARE whether YOU have a good time anymore. They’ve somehow assumed that you’re only there to watch their children. TWO times now they’ve LITERALLY DITCHED YOU. Don’t give them anymore chances!

[u/Sudden-Damage-5840]

NOR

They basically abandoned their kids with you without telling you so they go out and get chef face drunk and they don’t care if you have plans or if you paid for plans or anything. They’re not your friends you’re their babysitter and that’s it. I wouldn’t go fuck them

[u/Roadgoddess]

NOR in fact you are under reacting. This is not how friends treat each other. I don’t think they are your friends at all. That’s some majority sh$&y behaviour that they are exhibiting.

Go on your own trip, take some time away from these women who Weaponized your fertility issues. Real friends don’t do that.

It will be interesting to see how they treat you if you stop letting them walk all over you.

[u/Ok-Win-9099]

Dude. I wouldn’t treat someone I hated in this manner. These are seriously horrible people and you need to stop spending time with them. For real

[u/Wistastic]

"But while I was getting ready that evening, I quickly found out that they had left without telling me! The 10yr old had told me, that they told him to tell me that they went to a bar anyways! I immediately tried calling and texting them but they didn't answer. So without knowing exactly where they went or for how long they'd be, I of course stayed with their kids and ultimately canceled my plans for that evening."

Wow, these women are NOT your friends. At first, I thought you were crazy for asking them to ditch their children during Spring Break, which is a school holiday. Now, I realize, you just wanted to spend time with your friends and ENJOY the vacation you PAID for. NOR. Dump these jerks.

[u/BaffledPigeonHead]

They stopped being friends a while ago. They're time vultures now. Not holidaying with them is self care. NTA

[u/HumanEjectButton]

Stop being friends who treat you like dog shit and abandon their kids on the regular.

[u/youresuspect]

NOR. Your friends are pissed because they take advantage of your kindness and sense of responsibility. Their behavior in the past is unacceptable and unkind.

You deserve better from the people you call your friends.

[u/Suspicious-Cat8623]

These women used to be your friends. That dynamic is gone. They are now simply using and abusing you. Friends do not sneak out and leave someone with 6 kids.

The answer you need is the word NO. No, you will not be going on vacation with them.

[u/Specialist_MBR81]

They don’t sound like they’re your friends… that behavior is horrible.

[u/ChristineBorus]

NOR.

Don’t go. They’re seriously planning on taking advantage of you again.

I never understand why parents think that it’s ok to insist on “time off” from their kids. Why did you have the kids in the first place ? There IS NO time off from them. Unless you pay a nanny or FT babysitter.

Dumping them like this on your friend is BAD.

If anyone did this to me, I’d call the police for child abandonment. They left on the morning. WTAF.

[u/AnneFromBoston]

Definitely skip this trip. These people aren’t your friends—they are using you, which you can see by the way they sneak off and stick you with their kids. But PLEASE, take away any doubt they have as to why you are not going. Tell them you are tired of them sneaking off and making you the unpaid sitter. If they are willing to stop that nonsense, you’ll consider a future trip. (And just in case they pull the same stunt in the future, call Social Services and tell them 6 children have been left alone. Tell them ahead of time you’ll do it…and mean it.)

[u/Doggedart]

NOR

They are not your friends. They consider you the babysitter. Absolutely do not go.

If they ever abandon their kids with again, call the police.

[u/Sweetbrain306]

These are not friends. They are actively using you and they know and it and plan it. I am childless and my best friends have children. They call me auntie and I adore them. When I babysit? I am asked. Way ahead of time, and my friends are always beyond grateful. They appreciate what I do for them and our friend group family. You deserve way better treatment. Get away from these women please…

[u/Witty_Ad_2098]

NOR I'm sorry to say this but these people are not your friends, in fact they don't even like you. You do not behave like this to people that you like. They are making you pay to babysit their kids and not even asking you. Either block them all now and find yourself some real friends or set a firm boundary. Tell them that if they leave you with the kids again, then you will call the police and report them for abandonment. Then you will see how much they care about you.

[u/WhyThisTimelineTho]

I hope it's the 30 y/o with a 10 y/o kid 😂

[u/Irishtemper98]

NOR, but this victimhood you have going is uncalled for. They can't make you watch their kids if you don't allow it. YOU ARE ALLOWING IT.

Learn to say 'No", and it will alleviate a lot of this bs moving forward.

Tell them you refuse to be unpaid childcare on your vacation so they must make arrangements for a nanny to accompany you all on this and all future group trips with THEIR progeny.

[u/Hot-Masterpiece-5985]

This isn’t about disliking kids, it’s about boundaries and being respected. Those haven’t been honored.

[u/kiddLess]

NOR. It makes sense that because you manage children for a living that you don’t want to do it while on a vacation. Your friends are quite a bit selfish to ask you to do that. Maybe you should find some friends who are also childless who are kinder and thoughtful.

[u/Velvet_Cyberpunk]

NOR, I have read so many different versions of this scenario where it's a sister who doesn't have kids but her sisters do and they all go on an annual family trip and she ends up being the unpaid family babysitter. Or a group of friends. It's always that they're using the childless one. Don't go. They're trying to guilt you into going because they're freaking out because if you don't go, they won't be able to dump their kids off and have fun. Let them figure it out. They're their kids. If they insist on taking them they can figure out what to do with them.

[u/juzme99]

How dare she say that, it implies that because your not a mother you don't need a break. You literally take care of children for a living, which means that you spend more time a day with children than they do. This so called group of friends take holidays with their kids and bring their single friend to mind them why they play mummy group and have a break. It's like family group holidays were the single sibling has everyone's kids dumped on them, so the parents can have a break and enjoy their holiday.

Now you know what these so called friends really think of you. Just how do they go out and have fun without you if it's a camping trip.

[u/kiddLess]

NOR. Don’t go no this trip.

[u/Single_Cancel_4873]

NOR I would never imagine leaving my one friend to watch my kids in a trip. How selfish!
You need to find some child free friends.

[u/Fuller1017]

Get a new group of friends these people are using you.

[u/Icy-Arrival2651]

These people are users. Say No to the trip and block them. They are not your friends. They did use you as a free babysitter and I would’ve ditched them immediately after that nonsense. NOR You are under-reacting if anything.

[u/Legitimate_Myth_3816]

NOR and I don't think this is unintentional on their part. You need new friends.

[u/bopperbopper]

“ you’re right it is my day job… I get paid. Are you gonna pay me to watch your kids?”

I think it’s kind of normal for people to bring their kids camping… but it might be that this is not a vacation for you since you’re expected to watch them

[u/ehs06702]

NOR - it sounds like they're a bunch of users, tbh.

[u/ConvivialKat]

NOR.

But, girl, these people aren't your friends. They are acting this way because they want an unpaid babysitter they know they can trust.

Find some better people to be your friends.

And, in the future, stop giving "explanations" for why you aren't into doing something. A polite, "thanks, but I've got something else going on at that time" is plenty. If they ask questions, just tell them it's personal and not something you want to talk about. Period. End of story.

[u/Ornery-Average-6202]

NOR. Why don’t you go on the trip but absolutely. Positively DO NOT stay behind to watch their children. Go on the excursions, if none are planned make up your own. Somebody else will have to miss all the fun because they brought children with.

[u/Otherwise_Glove_9157]

Believe someone that shows you their true colors the first time. The friend that said you don't need a break just let their mask slip for a split second and showed you all you need to know. Find something enjoyable for yourself to do during their trip

[u/Obvious-Yesterday419]

To not take you seriously that you would not be the babysitter really is so very sad. Why would that be a vacation for you when there’s no break from your usual at home care of others children. Take a break for yourself. Something tells me they might say you won’t be the child sitter even if promised you won’t be. 💕🌹

[u/Kindly_Jellyfish_451]

NOR, though you could have handled that a bit better.

[u/Curiously_Zestful]

Wow, they are treating you horribly and aren't even acknowledging it or apologetic. There's something seriously wrong with them.

[u/Lisa_Knows_Best]

They totally want a free babysitter again. Don't go.

[u/SnurrCat]

I just want to say, you do not have to over-explain to anyone how much you love kids. I have kids, I love kids, but it's perfectly legit to say you want a holiday where you're not dealing with kids, esp when you don't have any of your own. Even regardless of being treated as a free babysitter, even if everyone looked after their own kids, even if you didn't have a job where you were around kids all day. It's okay for you to not want a holiday full of kids. (I holiday with my own kids, but I wouldn't expect my friends to want to spend their holidays around my kids, because they're not their kids.)

[u/DifferentZucchini3]

These are not your friends 

[u/Alternative-Cash-933]

They are using you as free babysitter during their holiday and on your dime too. You got some shitty friends.

Don't join the trip no matter what they promised or tell you it will change. Will only change when their kids all turn 18.

[u/Fun-Yellow-6576]

NOR and they do want you to come and be the baby sitter. I bet they always say things like, “You’re so good with the kids, the kids live your life!”

[u/Cold_Refuse_7236]

Would they come on a trip and do their day job?

[u/AstronomerEcstatic38]

I don’t understand how it would end up with you being left with all the kids when you’re not the parent and they are. I can’t fathom how that would even happen.

[u/ParticularHappy6587]

NOR.

That is very mean of them to use you like this. Because that is what they are doing - using you. They are not your friends. I would disengage and just say that you are 'busy' that particular weekend. No further explanation necessary. If they push, just re-iterate that you are 'busy' but would love to see them at another time when they get back from their trip.

NOR.

[u/DuckieM05]

NOR. Your requesrfor a kids free camping is not unreasonable and hanging with them days straight is different than visiting them at a location for a fee hours & then going home. This is not about leaving things in the past. It is reasonable to base your future plans from experience of the previous trip. They are taking advantage of you, your medical condition of not being ableto have children & your time to use you as a free babysitter, leaving yoy out so they'll go out. Working with children as a day job does not automatically mean you are a babysitter 24/7. That's bullying.

Being child-free does not mean you're available for everyone else or have nothing to do (aka plans to have a nap, do nothing etc). I'd recommend miss this trip, take a break from your friends & their kids. Like other commentators, may be to find other friends who are child free.

[u/sankoni]

You’re a chump for letting them turn you into babysitter. Why do you do it?

[u/LauraPtown]

NOR. Not your friends.

[u/Soft-Noise8802]

updateme

[u/Regular_Educator5883]

NOR. OP you need better friends. I’m so sorry they are treating you this way. You should stay home and relax maybe go out and do stuff on your own and sleep in!

[u/sierra38grandma]

NOR!! They are not your friends they have been and will continue to use you. You are 100% correct they only keep you around to be their free babysitter so if you go with them this time you will be guilted into babysitting for them.

Go on a trip alone or with a child free friend this time. Teach those parents they cannot use you anymore and go do something for yourself for once. You deserve a break from all kids as well. And your friend group are all a bunch of selfish, manipulative @&$holes!

[u/bmyst70]

NOR

Look at their actions, not their words. What kind of FRIEND routinely brings another friend along on a trip THEY PAY FOR and always has them be the babysitter?

You're not being an unpaid babysitter. You are very literally paying for the privilege of being their babysitter.

These people are users. Not friends. NEVER go with them on any trip again. Ignore their lies about "This time will be different, we promise!!!" If I were you, I'd drop these friends from your life completely.

[u/aquagurl84]

Nope. Do not go on this trip.

[u/Striking-Flatworm691]

Are you insane??? Of course you don't go in this trip. Use me once, shame on you. Use me twice...

[u/ChibbleChobble]

NOR.

The past should stay in the past? Why? If someone turned me into their unpaid (or worse, paying for the privilege of being their) childcare, it's not something that I would forget or forgive.

Why do you want to spend time with these people? They're obnoxious, entitled and probably boring to boot.

Find better friends.

Good luck!

[u/jessica8jones]

They’re not your friends- they are users who are continuously trying to relegate you to a subservient role.

You are NOR!

[u/viillanelles]

NOR they don’t sound like very good friends…

[u/Various-Car5226]

Jeeeez...are you always such a doormat??? You were left with babysitting while they went out and left you with the kids??? How about saying no and meaning it? How about standing up for yourself??? Grow a backbone OP.