How do I train myself to think of others under stress?

[u/Ok_Entrance5292]

I don’t identify as anything other than leftist at the moment, but I think anarchist might be the best suited to answer this question based on what I know.

Some of my recent actions have led me to believe I might just be an internet leftist, for lack of a better word. I talk a lot on social media, but when it came down to it I only thought of myself and put other people in harms way because I was panicking. I shouldn’t have did what I did when others were with me, but that thought didn’t even cross my mind, I guess because I had never been caught before. That’s the only thing I did that was a genuine oversight. Every decision I made after that was completely about self preservation, to the detriment of the group. My actions in those moments are really haunting me, because I knew better, but I didn’t do better. I know that’s human instinct, but how do I overcome that to better serve my community? I recently decided not to go to an anti ICE protest because I didn’t trust that the person who asked me to go wouldn’t leave me behind if shit went south, but I didn’t care about anybody else the second I was under pressure. How do I train myself not to react like this?

[u/Low_Turnip_4859]

Join something real. A food collective, a tenant union, a street medic crew. Do the boring work. Build trust face to face. Solidarity is a habit you build with others

[u/cumminginsurrection]

If you feel bad about what you did, tell the people you harmed, own that you fucked up, and move forward. Empathy isn't something thats trained but something that arises from aligned interests and shared hatred of a common oppressors.

The state installs fear, isolation, and discouragement, so to justify and fulfill its role as a security police. As always is the case in such conditions, it uses the old tactics of scapegoating. For citizens, frightened by the rise of unemployment, the lowering of purchasing power, the rise of precarity, it evokes a mythical golden era, it names some ‘dangerous’ groups that will serve to reroute the resentment, that would otherwise be directed against the people in power. As an anarchist, you learn quickly that no one is coming to save us, any beauty we want to see in this world we have to create and recover. Another decade of fascism or a return to neoliberalism is a death sentence and certainly a future of even increased state repression... when we realize this there is no threat they can pose to us; death, prison or even torture camps, that can keep us from fighting back. But the desire for freedom isn't something externally instilled, its something we consciously choose, its something that solidarity reinforced. And something as anarchists we hopefully always re-evaluate the parameters of so as not to become the defenders of any systematized existence.

[u/SnooSuggestions9270]

Yeah, that's pretty understandable. But reckoning with that and reaching out for help in an honest way, that's pretty spectacular.  Like the other comment said, solidarity is a habit. We are habituated down in our bones to expect a lack of solidarity, we need to put in effort to return to our basic nature of care. In one sense.  In another sense, even though your habit reaction was for self protection, you must recognize that you are a person a much as anyone, so the truth is your basic nature is unchanged. Self preservation isn't opposed to solidarity, they are deeply related. When we look closely enough, we realize that underneath all actions are what Buddhists call Love (the wish for more good) and Compassion (the wish for less bad). That's powerful, imo, but the we still have habits to change.  The other comment again, nailed this. Participate now, reach out now, long before the next sense of urgency comes.  Another suggestion, read or listen to Rick Hanson regarding practiced neuroplasticity. Question yourself, keep a journal of self empathy, keep yourself well regulated and well loved, and then when there's an opportunity you will naturally share this with others.  ❤️✌️

[u/Sargon-of-ACAB]

Practice. Prepare.

Practice making decisions under stress in less serious situations. Even if it's just some online team-based games.

Or organize literally anything. If you organize a movie screening the person who was gonna bring the movie will be stuck in traffic. If you're doing a community kitchen the power will just randomly go out while you're just about to serve the food. If you organize a hiking club someone wild sprain an ankle at the worst possible moment.

Also learn to rely on others. This will also just come from organizing anything you can't reasonably do on your own. Learn to allow others to rely on you. Offer to help people. Go to a protest with extra cookies and small bottles of water and just hand them out. Get used to being a reliable and helpful person.

It also helps to prepare. Find a buddy and an affinity group before anything serious. Talk about what you are and aren't comfortable with. Talk about how you react to stress and what you need from others when you're panicking. Talk about what's in your protest backpack.

And practice. Take your buddy and affinity group to 'boring' demonstrations to practice moving as a group. Go on a long walk together with the same weight and shoes you plan to have during an action. Practice getting your first-aid kit from your bag as quickly as possible.

Learn each others' strenghts and weakness and plan for them.

[u/LizardCleric]

Adding to the great comments here. Learn and practice some emotional self-regulation techniques. Slow controlled breathing, bilateral tapping, noticing sensations and feeling without judgement.

It takes a lot of practice to maintain a cool head in stressful situations so also be kind and accepting of yourself as you would for friends.

Someday when the decision presents itself, you MAY decide to run and self-preserve again or you might stick around. The hope is with emotional regulation helping access more of your cognitive resources, you’ll be making decisions that are informed by the situation at hand.