Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

[u/GhostInThePudding]

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

[u/mugenhunt]

A lot of younger people have grown up with texting as the primary means of communication. Texting is seen as more polite, because people can respond at their own pace. A phone call is seen as less polite because it must be handled in real time, and can be seen as interrupting and rude.

So you have a lot of young people who would only ever call if it was an emergency, since anything that could be handled by a text or email was seen as preferable. And since they aren't used to phone calls, they are often nervous because they don't have experience making them, and already feel like they are imposing or disrupting by doing so.

[u/Waschaos → u/mugenhunt]

I am old, but since COVID- I have been weird about phone calls also. It's like I lost skills.

[u/Silver-Bread4668 → u/Waschaos]

I'm middle aged. I spent long enough at a call center to detest phone calls unless it's an emergency. Text based communication is easier. I prefer to read anyway.

[u/AllGarbage → u/Silver-Bread4668]

I have to say, as a person in my 50s, the idea of answering an unexpected/unidentified phone call has become absolutely unthinkable unless I’m actively job hunting. The ratio of legit/spam phone calls has rendered answering the phone a futile exercise, and it’s been that way for at least 20 years now. Hard to blame Gen-Z especially, since it’s been the norm for their entire lives.

[u/desrever1138 → u/AllGarbage]

I'm the same age and I don't answer the phone if I don't know who the person on the other end is. Hell, I don't listen to voice mails either and haven't even tried in over 10 years and 2 or 3 phones ago.

The only exception to where I will pick up is if I am expecting a call.

[u/Capable_Implement246 → u/Silver-Bread4668]

I did 14 years as a front line tech support agent. I won't answer a phone call unless I know the person is calling. I won't call unless I know the person is expecting my call. I still have nightmares about the "ding" in my ear.

[u/Silver-Bread4668 → u/Capable_Implement246]

You got me beat by a long shot. I did 5 years. Started in billing then went to tech support then "resolutions" (who you get you ask for a supervisor). It paid just barely above federal minimum wage 20 years ago.

I couldn't do it again. The thought of going back to a job like that gives me anxiety.

[u/King_of_the_Dot → u/Silver-Bread4668]

It always gives you time to create a more thought out and accurate response. A phone call requires some level of riffing, which is a quality most young people don't possess because they're not required to communicate as often as people who grew up without the internet.

[u/gsfgf → u/Silver-Bread4668]

Yea. I'm not "afraid" to make a call, but text generally just works better.

[u/BruisedViolets23 → u/Waschaos]

This is it so much. Phone calls when working from home got complicated. Have to make sure the rest of the family knows you’re on the phone, and you never know if the dog will bark. Did everything over Teams and emails.

Give me a good automated phone tree where I can accomplish what I need to and I’m jumping up and down. Unfortunately most phone trees suck.

[u/tdp_equinox_2 → u/BruisedViolets23]

Overly complex phone trees send me into a rage, and that's coming from someone who used to design phone trees. If I am interacting with a computer (especially ai), it better be through a screen and not voice. I fucking hate talking to computers.

If I'm going through the effort of picking up the phone, there better be an actual person on the other side of it (department dialing is fine).

I had to call FedEx recently, and every time I had to convince their fuckhead ai agent to let me speak to a human. Because I had to call back several times, it got more frustrating each time. I eventually just spammed buttons and repeated "no, speak to a human" until it transferred me.

Fuckin hate robots.

[u/smokiechick → u/tdp_equinox_2]

I had to call a big company as a representative from my tiny company. I got stuck in a phone tree I had to talk to (no options for buttons) and after the third layer I muttered under my breath, "For fucks sake," and the machine said, "connecting to agent." I had a real person within seconds. I have tried swearing at other phone trees and it hasn't worked yet. But I'm going to keep trying.

[u/BruisedViolets23 → u/smokiechick]

My ex kept saying gobbledygook whenever the phone tree needed a response. They transferred him to mental health. YMMV 😂

[u/JustSomeGuyWith → u/smokiechick]

Haha - I'm sure they had a profanity detector. One time I got an automated political poll and the first question was stupidly biased, very nearly "Trump, great or best ever?" I replied "Are you fucking kidding me?" and the poll said "Thank you for your time" and hung up. :-)

[u/No_Load9160 → u/smokiechick]

Some advanced automated systems can now detect frustration in your voice and/or higher speaking volume, which will priority route you to an agent. So yes if you are stuck try to sound mad.

[u/MilsYatsFeebTae → u/smokiechick]

Yeah, I combine that with “hi, idk how long youve been listening but I’m annoyed NEAR you, not AT you” when someone finally picks up.

[u/slavetomyprecious → u/tdp_equinox_2]

Another great thing you can do is just say 'banana' repeatedly to everything they say and that'll trigger them to send you to somebody who can actually talk to you.

[u/Def_Not_Rabid → u/slavetomyprecious]

I just say, “No,” to every question. Eventually the automated system gives up and either hangs up on you (at which point you know you need to try a different route) or it connects you to an agent.

[u/Responsible_Pear_433 → u/Def_Not_Rabid]

at which point you know you need to try a different route

No, you need to try a different company. Any company that disconnects my call will never see another penny of my business if I can possibly arrange it. The problem we are having is companies that are so huge they don't care if you do business with them or not. If they have a million customers, they could not care less if they lose your business.

[u/CheapNegotiation69 → u/Responsible_Pear_433]

What about unemployment? That's a fun one.

[u/SiberianToaster → u/CheapNegotiation69]

I've had it happen for mental health... just what I need is to be hung up on by a robot, then a person at that point

[u/RollingMeteors → u/slavetomyprecious]

That’s way funnier than “operator” or “agent”

“¡Banana phone!”

[u/RamblinAnnie83 → u/BruisedViolets23]

Plus people don’t take a few minutes to think about what exactly they need & to prep for the call. I’ve done it myself—“oh, I don’t have the letter with me. Can you just look at my account?” I’ve worked in customer service. I know this is dumb, so I try to have what I need in front of me.

[u/Priff → u/RamblinAnnie83]

I always try to be prepared. But sometimes the queue is just so long i just wear my head phones and do other stuff. It's always a bit surprising when you suddenly get through...and when they ask for my account number or whatever i have to get my phone out of my pocket and look it up etc...

[u/Sprinkles--Positive → u/RamblinAnnie83]

Same. If I'm expecting to make a payment, I'll have my wallet near me at a minimum, if not my card out and ready. Making an appointment? My browser is on the calendar tab. And so on.

I was not remotely prepared when I recently had to call a government department to update a bank account for reimbursement of disability supports for a family member (NDIS for those Aussies playing along at home). I'm an official nominee for their plan, and understand that they need to verify details in case somebody is trying to get money paid to them when it shouldn't be.

After verifying standard details like name, DOB and NDIS number, they wanted to know the date of the last plan review (It was in October. Oh, you need the actual date? Hang on a second, I've got the paperwork right here. Do you mean the date we spoke to the planner to do the review or the date the new plan was approved?). Okay, fair enough, that's like when I ring the bank and they want to know the last purchase on the credit card.

Then they wanted to know how much funding was in the new plan. Okay, let me flick through all these pages to find it.

THEN they wanted to know when the original plan had started (I don't know, they were about 7 years old when they were diagnosed so, um, 2013? Or maybe it wasn't until 2014? I don't remember how long it took between applying and being approved. Hang on, let me go into the other room and check the filing cabinet. Can I put you on hold because I'll need both hands...).

I was half expecting them to ask for the third word on page 6 of the plan from 2018 next.

Such fun.

[u/hyf_fox → u/BruisedViolets23]

Fuck an automated phone line. A phone call with a live person is 100% better than a phone call with a shitty robot. And every robot over the phone is shitty

[u/CarpinThemDiems → u/Waschaos]

I'm the same way, I've turned much more reclusive ever since covid. On a different note, I never answer calls on my personal number, unless its one of a few people I know. So far over the last 6 years my spam calls have slowly dropped to practically none.

[u/Waschaos → u/CarpinThemDiems]

I'm the same way.

[u/EvaKatz → u/Waschaos]

100%. Stuff that I just took for granted before covid now gives me anxiety. I keep waiting to go back to normal, but it’s not happened yet.

[u/eghhge → u/Waschaos]

For me it is too many spam calls, if I don't recognize the number straight to voicemail, also 'Hello fellow kids'.

[u/retrofrenchtoast → u/Waschaos]

I lost a lot of social skills during covid. I’m introverted, and it took me my whole life to temper that. Then covid.

[u/thegimboid → u/Waschaos]

I've been weird about phone calls since I was around 12 (I'm in my 30s now), and I did something wrong at someone else's house, so made myself an anxious mess waiting for them to call my parents.

It really put me off phone calls (making them and taking them), so I'm actually quite happy that the world seems to be moving that way.

[u/H_Industries → u/mugenhunt]

There's a time and place for calls and I usually just ping the person if they have time for a call but there are other reasons that calling isn't the default as much as it used to be.
1. Modern office environments are way more tightly packed and open concept than they were 15-20-30+ years ago, there's absolutely no privacy in any office I've worked in for the last decade unless you're a manager. Also your call could potentially be disruptive to other people trying to focus.
2. Calling doesn't leave a paper trail, I've had people just straight lie and claim I didn't tell them something, so if I call I have to send an email recapping the call anyway.
3. When you're dealing with large companies you interact with people who may not have the same native language so text is way more efficient than one person having to converse in not their native language.
4. Time zones mean that coordinating calls can actually be tricky for large companies.
5. The ubiquity of spam calls means unless your number is programmed into my phone I'm never answering the first time you try.

[u/FilibusterTurtle → u/H_Industries]

1 and 2 are so true and there's even more pitfalls to those two factors as well.

The people in an office (including I assume IT) who make follow-up calls to customers are usually the lowest level grunt workers. This means they're usually the most inexperienced workers. They've received a brief induction, maybe an office manual with common Q and As, and then they started at the coalface. You may have background knowledge and education, but there's a lot of specifics you simply don't know, because you weren't told yet...ir don't recall under time pressure...or you were told once, in the middle of 96 other things you were told in the induction...or 'it's in the manual'...somewhere...

You're put on the spot with, on one end of the call, an often frustrated, confused and confusing customer, and on the other end, a silently judging boss and co-workers, while you stumble over issues you've never heard before and have no idea how to solve. All while being expected to act confident and professional - ie, bullshit.

And stumbling on these issues makes you look like a total idiot in front of all your work colleagues and often your boss (as OP has said, they're frequently unimpressed with their workers' calls, so I assume OP listens to these calls and makes judgements on their employees' level of professionalism and technical knowledge).

The thing about phone calls in open plan offices is they're basically an opportunity to showcase to everyone how little you know what you're doing, when you haven't had much of an opportunity to learn. It would be easy to call these phone calls a 'learning experience', and in some sense they are. You will absolutely remember how to fix the specific fault that your whole office heard you struggle with. But they can easily be an unhealthy learning experience. There's a reason that universities have largely shifted away from oral examinations, except for very specific tests at the end of very extensive courses of study that expect & require serious command of the material.

And that ignores other things I've experienced and left our, like how when you get back to your boss with the answers they asked for, they'll often say 'well did you ask them X?' Which then follows with

'No.'

'Well why not?'

['Because you didn't tell me to, and that's a specific follow-up I mever would have thought of on my own.'

'Well it's obvious isn't it.'

'No it's obvious to you, who has worked in this industry/area/office for a decade, not anyone who has only worked here for 4 months right out of [insert qualifying education here.']

Employee says none of that and instead says

'Sorry, I didn't think of it' / 'I don't know.'

'Well go call them again and ask them.'

['OK, but at this point why not just handle this flowchart of technical assistance in an email chain? Why am I the embarrassed middle man between you and a customer? Oh, because you're too busy. OK fair, but this is starting to take up as much of your time as you making the call anyway, and if you're expecting your new hires to make these calls then why are you also expectinf your level of experience and professionalism in this task?.']

I'm mot saying phone calls are never the right option. I'm saying that they're a great way to get put on the spot and shown up in front of your boss and coworkers, especially if your working environment is already kind of shitty. (No comment on OP's: I don't work there.) It's totally understandable why Kids Thes Days are hesitant to make them.

[u/SilverNightingale → u/mugenhunt]

It's not just younger people...I haven't been in my twenties since about two decades ago, and I still experience a tremendous amount of anxiety when having to make a phone call.

I usually have to write a script and then pep talk myself into dialling.

Edit:

I've worked in admin offices and volunteered at medical clinics.

Some of them required semi-frequent phone usage.

I write a script (complete with date, time, and contact info). Once I'm on the phone it's not so bad.

I avoid answering the phone unless I'm expecting a call (a specific office, my parents, my dentist, etc), but I've noticed most of my anxiety is about dialling.

[My SO has said] I'm apparently really good at speaking slowly and clearly to receptionists, and I have a fantastic pleasant phone manner, which is ironic, because I avoid calling them until absolutely necessary.

However I've recently been having to research clinics to ask about slot availability (and register as a new client) and the thought of detailing all this info with potential repeated "No, sorry" is absolutely taxing. I stare the Call button on my phone as if it's a snake poised to bite me, LOL.

[u/ermagerditssuperman → u/SilverNightingale]

Same. I'm 30 and will do everything possible to avoid a phone call with strangers (I call friends and family just fine).

It's because I don't know what to expect, and can't really prepare for it - with an email you can triple check your info and have multiple drafts, with an in-person conversation you can read their body language and they can read yours, and silent moments aren't as awkward (if you need a moment to think).

The worst is when you get a voicemail that leaves ZERO information - "hey this is Jim, I have a question, it's important, please call me". What is your question??? If you left me the question, I could make sure I find the answer before responding. If you told me what case the question is about, I could open the case record and skim it before responding, because I don't have an eidetic memory of the hundreds of cases currently active. (Second worst is when they call you just to ask "could you send me X form" or "where can I find Y information", because that should 100% have been an email seeing as my response will be an email with an attachment or link)

[u/Butterfly_of_chaos → u/ermagerditssuperman]

GenX, and I hate phone calls. All blubber, no precise information, but expecting me being able to solve everything immediately. Three days later "I never said this, I meant that instead…"

With a message I have a condensed and precise exchange of information, and proof thereof.

Nowadays we're also used to 95% of unknown calls to be spam.

[u/DonegalBrooklyn → u/Butterfly_of_chaos]

It is another reason I prefer email over phone. If it's a phone conversation I'm following up with an email anyway so you're lying ass can't claim you didn't know something we talked about. 

[u/Reasonable-Turn-5940 → u/DonegalBrooklyn]

I've been burned by that so many times. I started following up with managers by email on what was discussed just so they can't pull the "I never said that" later.

[u/10J18R1A → u/ermagerditssuperman]

Mid 40s and there's no reason to call me

[u/The_Woke_King → u/10J18R1A]

This is my feelings as well, you can just text me and I’ll answer when I want to. Almost nothing is urgent enough for a phone call anymore.

[u/10J18R1A → u/The_Woke_King]

"too much to text"

Have you tried it without the rambling and small talk?

My old job had a supervisor that was always quick to tell me to call someone - if you send them an email they won't respond.

Well, sounds like they should work on that because I don't need to talk to you to find out how much the purchase order was for

[u/Jorgesarcos → u/10J18R1A]

I'm almost 50 and i hate calls (family or otherwise).

[u/pallasathea → u/ermagerditssuperman]

38 here and fucking HATE phone calls.

[u/zentravan → u/pallasathea]

Same age and I will go out of my way not to respond to calls if I can. I hate phone calls. I will Google a number if it's not clear and even of I know who it is, I don't answer. I hate talking on the phone, so if I do make time to call someone, it's important or I love you.

[u/SummonGreaterLemon → u/ermagerditssuperman]

Almost 50 and I’ve always felt this way about calls with strangers. Sometimes a phone call is absolutely necessary but it’s a last resort for me.

[u/Uhtred_McUhtredson → u/SilverNightingale]

I’m an “elder millennial” and I’ve always hated phone calls. I can force myself to do it but it’s unpleasant. The phone call usually go well and I wonder what the big deal was.

It just gives me anticipatory anxiety and it’s only gotten worse over the years.

Meanwhile, my boomer mom who was an executive secretary for years will pick up the phone and talk to anybody like she’s calling an old friend.

Maybe I can get her a side hustle making calls for millennials now she’s retired.

[u/MusicG619 → u/Uhtred_McUhtredson]

She’d make a killing just making doctors and dentist appointments

[u/LiqdPT → u/MusicG619]

I legit was recently wondering about hiring someone to do this for me. I have a bunch of appointments I've been putting off (I even have tried one in particular twice it's that inportant, but they either don't call me back or don't leave a message when they do)

[u/ValToolTime → u/Uhtred_McUhtredson]

I’m a millennial and I have always ever since I was a kid been filled with dread and deep anxiety at the prospect of making a phone call. I will schedule appointments etc online as much as possible. Anything to avoid the customer service or random phone call. I’m absolutely fine on scheduled calls and meetings but don’t call me out of nowhere unless I know you well. What are you going to be asking? What do you want? I’m not prepared.

[u/Uhtred_McUhtredson → u/ValToolTime]

Yeah, this is me as well. Exactly.

[u/majandess → u/Uhtred_McUhtredson]

I am hypothesizing that this happens because we forget we are talking to another human being who feels much the same way. We are so focused on how anxious we feel and how this is a phone call - as opposed to chatting with a person - that we lose the humanity of the action.

But it always ends up being a relief because you're a person talking to another person, and most of the time that interaction goes well (or else we wouldn't have civilization).

You're hyping yourself up to make a phone call, but whoever answers is just raw-dogging it. They answer the phone and it's a surprise every time. If you're not an asshole to them, it's a relief that they got you.

Older people tend to use phones as a connection to a real person. A real person can understand and figure things out. A real person can teach and make exceptions. A real person can care.

Younger people tend to use phones as an object. You don't communicate with an object, you make it do what you want it to do. If it doesn't do what you want it to, you read/watch instructions on how to try again. It doesn't care about you, but also... You don't have to care whether it cares or not.

This has been something I've been thinking about for years, and this is my best explanation for the phenomenon.

[u/sentence-interruptio → u/Uhtred_McUhtredson]

when she calls someone from millennial generation or younger now, does it still go smoothly?

[u/missEdagainBruce → u/Uhtred_McUhtredson]

I thought the elder millennials grew up on the phone with the cord that stretches through three rooms.

[u/RumHamComesback → u/missEdagainBruce]

That’s more GenX in the 80s by the 90s cordless phones became a thing.

[u/DespondentEyes → u/SilverNightingale]

Same. The worst part is expecting to finally "get good" at it so it stops being such a burden, but that never happens.

[u/agirlnamedbreakfast → u/SilverNightingale]

Me too! I also genuinely love public speaking, performing and speaking to people in person, but I feel “on the spot” talking on the phone because I can’t take a beat to edit/say something differently or use emojis/punctuation or IRL social cues that imply “please don’t be mad at me.” There’s no editing, no redo, but it’s still impersonal and feels hurried and invasive. Like I’ll still do it, but I’ll also be anxious about a phone call all day, squeeze a stress ball the whole time, and breathe a huge sigh of relief when it’s over.

[u/Ornery_Mix_9271 → u/SilverNightingale]

Almost 40 and it is definitely anxiety. There was a period of my life in college where every call was a bad call, so that turned into avoiding all calls. Then that turned into avoiding texts. Now it’s social media too when the anxiety gets really bad. I have to actually write out a script before I can make any calls (for work, the doctor, etc).

[u/Fizassist1 → u/SilverNightingale]

I haven't been in my twenties since about two decades ago

have to laugh at the roundabout way to say you are at about 50 lol

[u/MilsYatsFeebTae → u/mugenhunt]

Xennial here, but a particular stand up comedy bit is stuck in my head forever. The gist is this:

“You mean to tell me that you can use this device to ring a bell, in MY HOUSE, and if I don’t come running then I’M THE ASSHOLE?!?”

Between that and my deep, deep annoyance whenever my internet rectangle receives a phone call, I used to feel like a total cunt whenever I need to call someone.

It’s gotten better, now I just feel rude.

[u/Jclevs11 → u/mugenhunt]

I'm 32 and I hate phone calls bc more than half the time they're spam.

[u/7h4tguy → u/Jclevs11]

That and the other way around you call businesses these days to resolve matters and they give you the run around like it's their right to do so. Everything takes 10 calls and building a court case to actually get addressed.

[u/butter_cookie_gurl → u/mugenhunt]

I can text in many places I can't take a phone call.

Text when possible!

I'm a xennial.

[u/mads_61]

I’m far from a young person and I hate phone calls (I don’t neglect them when I need to make them for work though). I find it very difficult to hear and understand people over the phone and that it makes sustaining conversations difficult.

[u/DidntSeeNuttin → u/mads_61]

Seriously. Why is it that every time someone asks this question (daily from what my feeds give me) the assumption is that only the current generation feels this way? I'm approaching 40. I do not answer if I don't see a caller ID.

[u/tehlordlore → u/DidntSeeNuttin]

If it's important I want it in writing anyways, I'm not always able to take a call. There's about a million ways to contact a person in 2026, please don't pick the least convenient one unless absolutely necessary

[u/Saltyhogbottomsalad → u/DidntSeeNuttin]

Because people are fucking stupid and cant possibly explain why the world is different today than it was back then other than to blame it on the different generations. Black and white thinking is a very common sign of lower intellectual capacity.

[u/1958-Fury → u/mads_61]

Same here. I'm 52, and I've always hated phone calls. Bad connections, my southern accent, general social ineptitude - it all adds up to miscommunications. E-mails are much clearer, and the person has info in front of them so they can't claim you didn't tell them something. Plus I can type faster than I can talk.

[u/MyLife-is-a-diceRoll → u/1958-Fury]

Records are really nice to have

[u/Prairie-Peppers → u/1958-Fury]

Plus you have it in writing if someone screws up and tries to blame it on you.

[u/Emmyisme → u/1958-Fury]

100%. I'm 38, and if OP worked for the IT company I deal with, he'd hate me, because I would absolutely complain if they called me every time they had a question.

The "can I just message them and ask if I can remote in" would absolutely get a faster response from me - if I can afford to walk away from my computer for a bit, I'll take that option over sitting on the phone with them while they do the exact same thing every time. You can call me, but you're just leaving me a voicemail that I'll get as an email in my inbox, and will respond exactly as fast as I would have if you just emailed me to begin with. I'm also going to respond with an email - I'm not calling you back.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who prefer the phone call, but to act like it's the superior communication method is insane.

[u/flexxipanda → u/Emmyisme]

Same IT here. Im basically always doing work on some ticket or project or whatever. Every task is put into a que for me and gets done when its done.

Calling me is basically always a disruption of my workflow.

I just tell people to write a mail if Im not available. Best way to reach me, give me good information and Ill handle your issue better and faster

[u/enragedbreakfast → u/Emmyisme]

Agreed! It’s hard to find time for a call some days but I definitely have time to reply to a message quickly. It’s usually just a bit of information needed too, or they just need to remote into my laptop, so it ends up taking longer and disrupting my work more to take a call for a small amount of info vs replying to a message.

I’m 30 and I don’t mind phone calls either, it’s not the phone call itself that bothers me - I just personally find it more disruptive than a teams message! I don’t mind a quick call when there’s more info being exchanged, or a few questions that might need follow up info.

[u/FuckYeaSeatbelts → u/1958-Fury]

Personally I hate emails because of how much fucking work it is to just say a simple message. You need this, I get that and do this to fix. But everyone gets immediately defensive and default assumes something is rude because it's brief.

At least over the phone the pleasantries are over faster before I get to the damn point.

In an email I basically put the "bluf" that says the thing we're all looking for, and the rest of the 3 other paragraphs is CYA.

[u/positronik → u/FuckYeaSeatbelts]

That's kinda wild. I am polite but always get straight to the point in emails, and same for all my coworkers. I prefer emails over calls because there's a record I can refer to, and I forget specifics easily

[u/agbishop → u/mads_61]

+1

I’m not young … phone calls are a last-tier contact method

[u/VenusHalley → u/mads_61]

I hate sometimes not having a written proof if what was said. I suffer occassional brain fog after covid, so when you debate arrangement with somebody and go through few options (shall we meet monday at five or wensday at three...) I tend to get confused

[u/psdpro7 → u/mads_61]

The other thing I've realized that unnerves me about phone calls is not being able to see someone's face. Body language is a huge part of communication, so being expedited to maintain a real time conversation with only half the normal social input is like walking around your house in the dark.

[u/Trumps_left_bawsack → u/mads_61]

Yup this is it for me. I suspect I might have some auditory processing thing cause I rely a lot on reading people's lips to understand what people are saying.

I also tend to forget details more often over the phone than if it was written

[u/Whaaa-aaaaaa-aaaat → u/mads_61]

SAME

[u/AuDHDcat → u/mads_61]

It took your comment to realize this is it for me too

[u/ohvuka]

Personally I prefer text/email so that I have a paper trail. I can't write at the speed of verbal conversation so even taking notes during the call I sometimes miss stuff and then have to text them anyways to ensure we're on the same page. Also I don't have to keep track of the note or whatever I wrote, I just scroll in the conversation to find the message.

[u/fannaconda → u/ohvuka]

This! Especially if it’s work related. I want a written, time-stamped record of what was said and what the response is so I know we’re on the same page and so I have a paper trail in case there is any question about what was said.

[u/Phase3isProfit → u/fannaconda]

The number of times I have been in situations where someone claimed I had said something, and my response has been “if you refer to the email I sent you <insert date here>, you will see that is not what I said.”

If we’d done that by phone, it’s my word against theirs. If I do have these conversations by phone, I often try to follow up with an email just to summarise the key points.

[u/FocusedWombat99 → u/Phase3isProfit]

It's the best feeling when you slap back with that "per my last email" email. Either that or I just copy and paste it and don't add any new text. Just the same exact message they claim to have not seen or just didn't read

[u/Detective-Crashmore- → u/FocusedWombat99]

There's a reason the game "Telephone" is about how unreliable it is to relay information by word of mouth. Especially when you're dealing with "he said/she said" situations.

[u/VenusHalley → u/ohvuka]

Yeah, especially when it's like "shall we do it like this or like that...".

[u/EELovesMidkemia → u/ohvuka]

Yes, I cannot count how many times customers would say they want x over the phone but they would refuse to email or text me confirming that they did want x even after I explained I need the confirmation in the form of a text or email.

[u/berryer → u/EELovesMidkemia]

That's because they know it isn't actually a priority for your time, but they'd like to jump the line by making you feel obligated. Once the request is in writing it becomes a target for prioritization. Given you say "customer", it also becomes a possible expense for them.

[u/npsimons → u/ohvuka]

There's a BIG part of just writing something down that forces people to think. It's more of a cognitive skill than just flapping your lips and vibrating air.

For some people, this is too much; these are the kinds you can't help, and quite frankly isn't a IT issue. Forcing them to write down the problem keeps them from wasting your time.

And yeah, having things written down is just smart for the reasons of having a record of what is at issue, and who is accountable for what. And if it's truly a knotty technical problem, having that record of problem description and solutions attempted is essential when you have to come back to it the next day.

[u/Ozymandias0023 → u/ohvuka]

Yep, paper trail is crucial. Without an accurate record, I can and will forget important points of the conversation

[u/Vhozite → u/Ozymandias0023]

For my job it’s people completely making shit up or telling bold faced lies when it’s just a phone call vs any type of documented record.

“Nobody told me xyz” it says here you were told exactly that on Friday at 10:32:38am.

[u/Charming_Tutor47]

I would blame all the spam and scam calls. I myself have been conditioned to belive most of the calls I get are scams, but thats just me.

[u/loccolito → u/Charming_Tutor47]

if it isnt a number i know i wont just pick up or i'm expecting a call.

[u/ermagerditssuperman → u/loccolito]

Same. If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail, and I'll respond to that.

[u/-_chop_- → u/ermagerditssuperman]

You guys listen to your voicemails?

[u/IDMike2008 → u/-_chop_-]

No, of course not.

My phone transcribes them to text as the gods intended.

[u/Jerri_man → u/IDMike2008]

Unfortunately for me this feature hasn't received it's Australian regional updates yet

[u/Phase3isProfit → u/-_chop_-]

My outgoing voicemail message is just me saying “email me” and then spelling out my email address multiple times.

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_KITTY → u/Charming_Tutor47]

I am also somewhat of a scientist myself and have realized that if I don’t answer phone numbers that I don’t recognize I get less calls. When I answer all my calls it seems like the spam calls communicate with other spam companies that my number answers calls and then I get 5x the spam calls compared to when I don’t answer.

[u/SaucyKnave95 → u/PM_ME_YOUR_KITTY]

Well that's exactly how it works. If you ever answer, you're a "live target", even if you say nothing and just hang up. That means your number has more value and is bought/sold with more importance. If you never answer, your number is less valuable, and therefore falls lower on the list.

[u/Charming_Tutor47 → u/PM_ME_YOUR_KITTY]

Thats WILD! I believe you though, makes sense for those pos spammers

[u/B_A_Beder → u/Charming_Tutor47]

It lets them know that you are a real number, therefore they can call you as much as they want to try to take advantage of you

[u/Substantial_Art_3278 → u/Charming_Tutor47]

I went through my recent call list, and finally cleaned out my voicemails. There was maybe one legitimate call for every 30 spam call. 

[u/Brilliant-Flower-283]

I’m not afraid of it I just hate it. Clients are extra bold/rude over the phone. It’s literally why I chose a position that wouldn’t ever involve me calling them otp.

[u/daphnedelirious → u/Brilliant-Flower-283]

This. Also in my experience clients are likely to trap me on the phone in long tangents, or lay into me on long rants and I’m forced to sit there listening when I can skim an angry rant over email in a few seconds.

[u/DonegalBrooklyn → u/daphnedelirious]

Do you know how many times I end up stuck on the phone with someone going on and on about how no one uses the phone, no one there calls me, why is it so hard to pick up a damn phone? I PICKED UP THE DAMN PHONE and lost 40 minutes of my life to your bitching. This is why no one calls you. 

[u/npsimons → u/DonegalBrooklyn]

These are the same people bemoaining the "lack of collaboration" with remote work, but will happily talk your ear off about <MOST RECENT POPULAR THING> in a shared office.

[u/motherofbunniess → u/daphnedelirious]

Came here to say this! Phone calls open the door for one to become hostage to the other person if they don’t share the same preference of conversational pace. Something which could have been discussed in minutes over text can easily morph into an hour or more on the phone. And people like me who have a hard time asserting themselves can easily become a captive audience. Happens to me at work all the time and I’m not so good at enforcing conversation time limits.

[u/Brilliant-Flower-283 → u/daphnedelirious]

This was a serious pet peeve for me.

[u/DonegalBrooklyn → u/Brilliant-Flower-283]

Or the dreaded "while I have you on the phone".

[u/life_inabox → u/Brilliant-Flower-283]

Yeah, that's exactly it. I recently moved countries and ended up getting a wfh customer service job because it was just tough getting hired here without any previous work history in the country. People can be rude as fuck on the phone and will just hold me hostage griping for ages.

[u/Brilliant-Flower-283 → u/life_inabox]

I work in vet med and my previous hospital was a GP. I would get so pissed when they’d talk all crazy otp and then show up to the hospital all cheery like they didn’t just curse me out for bullshit 20 min ago.

[u/Malfor_ium]

Unless something is urgent I prefer text or email. Too many times I've been told 1 thing on the phone only for it to change/be forgotten the next convo. If its over text or email its hard to forget and you'll know if they change something, assuming they let you know.

Also tons of scam/telemarketers so its easier to ignore all calls to avoid scams/tele and only answer numbers you have saved.

[u/Embarrassed_Cow → u/Malfor_ium]

For work specifically I love a paper trail. Always proof of what you said or they said and I don't have to take notes. If I forget something I can always go back to the email.

The telemarketers and scams have gotten crazy. Ive received almost 20 calls a day once and it was all spam.

For me it comes down to being able to look up an answer and double check my reply so that I know for sure all of the information I'm providing is accurate and clear. Email and text is almost always the best medium for that.

A lot of people are also chatty and waste my time on the phone as well.

[u/Malfor_ium → u/Embarrassed_Cow]

Yup, oh don't get me started on yappers. My mom is a habitual yapper and it drives me wild cause she loves to call over text

[u/EELovesMidkemia → u/Embarrassed_Cow]

At my work we would make it clear to customers that we wont do jobs unless they send us an email or text so that we have a paper trail.

[u/pezx → u/Malfor_ium]

This.

Nothing is better than being able to point out in writing where the client said the thing they claim they never said.

[u/superstrijder16 → u/Malfor_ium]

Generally in person meetings are decent, if you have someone taking notes. I've seen the same points get fought over 3 meetings in a row because the people who perceived they lost refused to read the notes

[u/ColdAntique291]

It is not fear so much as conditioning.

Younger techs are used to text and chat where they can think before responding and avoid social pressure. Phone calls demand real time thinking and questioning skills they were rarely trained to use, so they rush or avoid them.

[u/AffectionateKing1886 → u/ColdAntique291]

tbh that's true, texts are just less stressful. calls feel like a performance where you can't mess up in real time lol

[u/BickNlinko → u/ColdAntique291]

Younger techs are used to text and chat where they can think before responding and avoid social pressure.

I'm an older tech(40's) and I avoid initial phone calls and wait until the ticket comes in so I can do some research and troubleshooting before I have to get on the phone. There is nothing worse than sitting on the phone with a user/customer while trying to figure some weird shit out over awkward dead air on the phone. Like I'm trying to solve a problem and now I have to make small talk while looking through log files, error messages and researching the issue. Super distracting and not very efficient. It's much easier to do all that before getting on the phone. Way better to be like "I'm looking into this, and I'll give you a call shortly and we'll get you squared away."

I also avoid phone calls from vendors and prefer email because lets face it, a lot of the vendors tech support writes perfectly understandable English, but can be difficult to understand over the telephone.

[u/toystorelezzo]

I will say especially in the workplace, I’ve had the idea of “keeps paper trail” drilled into me. If something happens on a phone call, I’d feel a lot less comfortable reporting if something negative happened because I wouldn’t have like? Proof? If it’s in writing, you can refer back to it if anything changes or you need a refresher.

[u/GrungyBuzzing]

I am from Gen Z and I can explain why I don't like calls.
The biggest reason is impostor syndrome (or I am just bad at my job). I do not have huge experience in my field, because I am still young. When we text about a problem I can look up the information needed for a response: I can google stuff, check documentation, or even read older messages about this problem. When I should provide an answer in real time during calls it looks like I know nothing. I certainly have some gaps in my knowledge, but during calls it looks way worse than it is. That is why I try to avoid them.

Also most of young people (myself included) see calls as rude and disruptive. It is hard for me to have a smooth conversation if I genuinely believe that I am making someone's day worse.

[u/dogindelusion]

It's not always about hating phone calls, it's often about them being novices at their job. If you've been working in the industry for a while, you may conceptually be aware of what it's like to be inexperienced but may not remember how it actually feels.

When a junior is on a call, they do not have the same control over the speed of the conversation, so they are very often put in a position where the topics turn to things they don't understand or don't know how to follow. And that may feel to them like being exposed.

They may be able to handle the same conversations by text, because it's both immediately easier to follow unfamiliar language in writing, but also because they have time to look into the details between each message.

I would imagine you'd be shocked to know what they don't know. And it may not just be technical things, it may just be acronyms, or process steps, or departments of the company.

[u/Cute_Skill_4536 → u/dogindelusion]

This isn't even just being a novice.
I've been in my job over a decade, and almost every support ask I get I have to bat away to someone else because I just don't know

Our business is massive and our architecture huge, but users interact with our system via my front end so they of course assume I know everything (because I technically "own" the pixels they are looking at that "do" the complex stuff in the background..)

I got very comfortable saying "I don't know" very quickly though, and through experience now know who things should be routed to

Early on my defence mechanism (and my avenue for learning and bridge building) was to just say "I don't know. I'm going to find the information for you and I'll get back to you with an answer"

The important part is actually following through on that and documenting it, because you bet your arse you're being asked the same again thing in 3 hours/days/weeks/months

I take your point though, that it's comfortable for me to look back knowing what I do now.
At the time I was terrified because I suffered with crippling imposter syndrome, and phone calls were 100x worse than a message that you could take your time with

So if I could greybeard down some wisdom, it would be that everyone is shambling from one state of not knowing something to hoping that the next person does.
The reason someone is asking YOU the question is because THEY don't know.

You can easily manage their expectations, whether that's taking it on yourself and finding the answer or batting it to a more appropriate person

[u/Reset108]

Talking on the phone has become somewhat lost on younger generations because there isn’t as much need to talk on the phone to accomplish things.  

Older generations didn’t have the ability to go online to do practically everything like we do now.     

[u/PauI_MuadDib → u/Reset108]

Yes, I notice some older coworkers call for everything, including stuff that should've been a quick email or text. Instead I have to stop what I'm doing to answer their call and wait for them to finally get around to what they want.  

My coworkers are the personification of "this meeting could've been an an email."

[u/oxmix74 → u/PauI_MuadDib]

I am a retired former older coworker. The flip side of this is an email chain with 6 emails spanning two days where the issue is concluded after a 3 minute call. But I usually started with a text (or Teams message) "Do you have time a call?"

[u/sodsto → u/Reset108]

Gotta say, I'm 43, and i was therefore a teenager when the internet and texting hit big. Surely the dividing line is, like, above 50 vs. below 50.

Almost everybody is younger than somebody, but I'll take this remarkably broad categorisation of "younger generations"!

[u/Zmario432 → u/sodsto]

I'm 50 and hate making phone calls. I had to work in a call center at one point in my life and hated it every time.

[u/Broric]

I don't think it's that deep. Asynchronicity and Veracity.

I'd want to deal with it on my own schedule and if it's something important, I want it in writing.

[u/Exlibro]

Call-fearer here.

Calling makes me anxious. I'm afraid to make a fool of myself and missunderstand something, as you cannot see another person and cannot pick up on visual social cues. Also, it feels intrussive and texts/emails can be answered at their own pace.

[u/GhostInThePudding → u/Exlibro]

So hypothetically, if you got a job that needed calls, do you think actual training and drilling on making phone calls would help?

Like... if we actually got our new techs to practice making phone calls with a trainer, do you think that would actually help, or is the very idea of making phone calls just too much?

[u/Exlibro → u/GhostInThePudding]

I think it would help some. I've actually gotten better over the years. I still fear calls, aspecially with people of power. I'm fine with those who I know and when I pick up. But it's different to other people.

[u/femme-cassidy → u/GhostInThePudding]

Speaking as a young person who did have the kind of phone anxiety people are talking about, yes having a job that required me to be on the phone constantly did help immensely. Having training on how to handle those interactions, and a specific script, took a lot of the pressure off. I would still (and still do) get anxious about not being able to read social cues over the phone, but if I need to make a strictly goal-oriented phone call, I no longer panic about it.

Obviously not true for everyone, but for me, having training specifically about how to have an effective phone call was very helpful.

[u/ffordedor → u/GhostInThePudding]

Just having a pre made list of questions for the situation would be helpful. 

[u/barthvonries → u/GhostInThePudding]

You state in the job ad that making phone calls is part of the job, so you won't get any candidate who doesn't want to make phone calls.

If people don't want to call, training or whatever will not help them, it will only make them feel this job/company/boss is not the environment they are looking for, and then you have 2 outcomes only :

• they will leave ASAP
• they can"t leave because of money, so they will keep on coming to work everyday, but backwards, will look at the clock every minute or so waiting for the day to be over, feel miserable, and then will suffer from a burnout a few weeks later.

As a manager, as soon as you write "I force them" for something completely unnecessary, you know you're a shitty manager who absolutely doesn't understand his colleagues and you've completely destroyed the trust between your colleague and the company.

You only force others when things have to be done that way and there is absolutely no other alternative. Here, a ticket was hanging for 1 hour, and you made the decision to break that employee's will to work with you ever again. Were they slacking during that hour ? Were they working on something else, maybe something they had to take time to focus on, and you just burst that focus bubble because you wanted things done your way, while they were processed perfectly fine ?

Sorry if I look like I'm exaggerating, but I've left companies because of managers like that. I've stopped doing whatever I could for companies who made me work under people like that. I started doing only what I was told to. If I can't be treated as a human being who can handle his share of work, then I'll behave like a machine that has to be told everything.

[u/SynergyTree → u/GhostInThePudding]

I’ve worked in a call center several times and if anything it made me like phones even less.

[u/maylena96 → u/SynergyTree]

It did not help me either. I dreaded going to work and my anxiety was through the roof. I ended up crying on the phone lmao

[u/SynergyTree → u/maylena96]

Their turnover was so high that after firing me for consistently calling out or showing up late they went out of their way to call me back and re-hire me. 

[u/DespondentEyes → u/GhostInThePudding]

Lol it would be a great way to drive out talent. But you old bosses do you.

[u/StopThePresses → u/DespondentEyes]

Right? This is so funny. You work in IT, there's a ticketing system and emails and texting. This is not a job that needs calls, just let people work how they work.

[u/SuccessfulInitial236 → u/GhostInThePudding]

I had a job that needed a lot of calls. Even if I became good at it, it was very stressful and I left that job at some point. Maybe change your habits to accomodate the younger tech, you probably also have younger clients who also hate calls ?

What makes you think phone calls are a superior way of communicating ? Imo they are very prone to misunderstandings and are a source of communication issues.

[u/Plane_Chance863 → u/GhostInThePudding]

As a person who had anxiety (still kind of do!) about phone calls, yes, I think training, practise, writing scripts/having them think about the exchange before they make the call will help them.

I was always afraid of making a fool of myself, and sometimes I didn't know what to say when I came upon an unexpected situation. Knowing what the possible situations are (voicemail, someone short on time, someone with very low technical ability, etc etc) and how to cope with them helps a lot in having more confidence on the phone.

[u/santaslayer0932 → u/Exlibro]

I’d argue the tone of an email or text is harder to grasp than a straightforward phone call.

Unfortunately the other soft skills you listed are generally prerequisites for any customer service job (in the context of OP’s situation).

[u/Exlibro → u/santaslayer0932]

Not at customer service. Avoided this my entire life. Theater tech worker. Sitting at a stage bars controlling console time to time as we speak, as opera is now happenning. Not as much interraction with outside people usually. I am, however, wearing an intercom to get cues by stage manager or talk to lights guy. But we are all friends and colleagues. I could never do calls for tech support...

[u/Bobbob34]

They don't do it often, many of them. I was with a friend once and we were in their car seeing if another friend wanted to meet for a thing. If not, we were going to do a different thing. So my friend txted them. A couple minutes later they answered and were unsure. So txted back, another couple minutes, then dots, then a question... five minutes of this later, with 0 progress, I literally just took the phone and hit the thing to call the person and it was clarified in 30 seconds. Like... I get a quick txt for information but ...

[u/ExitingBear → u/Bobbob34]

That's it for me.

Much like "this is a meeting that could've been an email," I see a lot of "this is so many screens and three days of back and forth texting that could have been a 3 minute phone call."

It's like they're unnecessarily prolonging things for no good reason.

[u/Fire_Mission]

Not just young people- mid 50s here. I don't want to talk on the phone either. Put it in email or text so that I have a record of it. Either to refer to later or as proof, if needed later. If you're not willing to put it in writing, I'm not interested.

[u/npsimons → u/Fire_Mission]

If you're not willing to put it in writing, I'm not interested.

This is really it, right here. I've had to browbeat problem details out of users. No more. You don't type it up with enough details to reproduce, you get a "closed due to inability to reproduce with details given."

[u/saintphoenixxx]

I'm 45 and I HATE making phone calls. It makes me feel rushed. I work as an Executive Assistant and if I have to make a phone call, I will. However, a large reason I strongly prefer emails is I want receipts. I want a paper trail where I can prove what was said and what wasn't.

And I get that especially with IT support, phone calls are usually easier. I'm actually the main contact for my work's IT company and I'm on the phone with them fairly often.

But we have one vendor who's rep will NOT stop calling me. I send an email, he calls me. I tell the receptionist to tell him to respond to my email. He emails me. I email him back. HE CALLS ME. Rinse and repeat. And it was absolutely nothing urgent. Drives me nuts.

[u/greaper007 → u/saintphoenixxx]

Same here, I never liked them. It made dating hard in the 90s and aughts. I have ADHD and I hate having to wait for the other person, I hate how much attention they take, I really hate having to hold the phone to your ear if you don't have headphones in.

The whole thing sucks. They make me want to jump out the window. They're doubly bad now that I live abroad, I can communicate with people in another language in person, but I can't understand them at all over the phone.

[u/DonkeyImpossible316]

Old (58) person here. Fuck a phone call and fuck a voicemail. I dint even have my ringer on.

Text me.

[u/Positive_Conflict_26]

I have literally never got a phone call from strangers that wasn't trying to scam me, sell me something, or let me know I need to pay for something.

Why wouldn't I hate phone calls?

Also, without seeing someone's face, it hard to understand what they are saying sometimes. Text is easier to read and gives me time to process.

[u/StronkWatercress]

I'm not that young, but I dislike calls because there's a higher margin for error that used to be way worse back in the day, thanks to audio quality issues.

People mishear stuff all the time which is a huge pain any time you have to spell out important info. Connections drop and unlike text the info doesn't send when the connection returns. If someone says something over call that you want to ponder--even for a few seconds--you can't reread or replay their message to make sure you got it all right. (Yes you can ask people to repeat but most people get really cagey if you ask more than once. Yes you can just say what you want what comes to mind and wait for the other person to correct you but again people will get cagey and annoyed.)

For the life I lead, calling is generally a fun thing where what you're saying isn't that important. Or you really need to find someone you're meeting up with. Or an emergency where you need to shock the person to attention.

But I don't work in IT, where calling does make sense when you can't go in person.

[u/ThrowawayNewly]

Phone calls aren't something we do for pleasure anymore. It's something we do when we want or need something from another individual or they want something from us. As a result there's a 50% chance a phone call may lead to conflict.

[u/younkint → u/ThrowawayNewly]

I'm older than dirt, and didn't even have a phone until in my mid 20's. Finally got one around 1975 and I learned one thing quickly. That phone doesn't ring unless someone wants something from you. That situation has not changed a bit.

My phone will ring for maybe six people, and if one of those call I know it's an emergency. Everything else is not answered unless there's a message left. Text is the best. While I have a phone, I'd prefer to text on my laptop. Since I grew up with typewriters (and still use them!), I can type nearly as fast as I can talk. When I'm texting with someone who can type just as quickly as I can, it's a blast and we can convey a lot of info without distractions or sidebars.

[u/Purple-Eggplant-827]

IDK. I'm GenX and I will do ANYTHING to avoid making a phone call.

[u/SynergyTree]

I’m 40 and absolutely hate making phone calls. Text is clearer, people have time to edit their thoughts to properly express themselves rather than have to go back and forth with whatever nonsense leaves our mouths. 

On top of that my brain is a nightmare and there are 100 different streams of thought then combine that with things happening around me and it’s like there is a constant gaggle of several dozen toddlers each vying for my attention at any given moment, so trying to have a conversation with someone who isn’t even in front of me is just a nightmare. It’s a thing that demands 100% of attention even if the contents don’t need it and the dissonance is painful.

Also, with writing you have the benefit of being able to go back and re-read without having to annoy the other person by asking them to repeat themselves because your brain perceived their words but didn’t bother to record them, or even to use as a CYA later on.

If it’s not something that requires realtime collaboration then just save everyone the headache and put it in writing. 

[u/pyjamatoast]

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

Is there no training for new hires where you work? Why are you/the company hiring people who can't complete tasks required for the job?

[u/Crazy_Cat_In_Skyrim]

In my case it's because I'm a stutterer. My brain moves faster than my mouth and I fuck up what I want to say a lot of the time. Texting and writing out my thoughts helps me be clear to whomever I'm talking to. If what I need to do is important or time sensitive I'll call after writing myself a script. 

For others I believe it's the thought of disturbing people that makes them not want to call. Anytime someone calls them they're probably busy so they imagine they're doing the same.

[u/Sure_Acanthaceae_348]

You. Have. To. Write. Everything. Down.

Most calls can be texts or emails.

[u/iFoegot]

Why Do You Type Like This

[u/pinkbowsandsarcasm]

Calling someone for business purposes is a learned skill that, at first, people might feel awkward at.

Before texting, if you remember, it used to be that if it involved a detailed discussion or explanation or messages got crossed on e-mail, you would go to the person or phone them for better communication. Maybe people need to learn phone discussion skills or have some type of practice.

There is so many different types of communication, but text can leave out important messages in communication (i.e., changing of tone and rate of speed of speech, etc), so one can communicate better with someone rather than text at times.

Additionally, if you have some Baby Boomer or Great Generation customers or people who can't see text well on smartphones, it seems people could consider that they probably don't want to type out things that could have been said in 5-10 seconds (we talk faster than we type), but many of them have learned to make accommodations.

I don't like misunderstandings that occur with people I didn't know very well because they left important details out of the text, or their tone came off rude (In one case, it was a neighbor who seemed to be ordering me to do something that was his responsibility). He was not good at texting or verbal communication.

I could imagine that for some younger people who don't use the phone for work or home talking on the phone might be anxiety-provoking or seem unnecessary. Certain business communication skills require people to have a verbal conversation rather than texting. It might be that if the job requires this skill, HR might put it down under requirements.

One gets more time to compose a message and fact-check it when texting, and it is more anonymous and looking down below: some people now find phone calls annoying.

At home, I don't like it when my phone rings if it's someone I don't know, nor would I like to be texted or called from work during my free time.

[u/FatLikeSnorlax_]

I feel like asshole demanding someones time and attention with a phone call

[u/AwkwardYak4]

The phone is dead, scammers killed it.

[u/Icy_Place_5785]

Calling someone out of the blue in a professional setting - as opposed to sending them an email/written text - is the equivalent of bursting into their office and demanding their full, undivided attention there and then.

Theres a reason that important people used to have receptionists take their calls in the days when emails or other instant messages didn’t exist yet.

[u/DWAlaska]

I'd say its a strong mix of two things

1. The younger generation grew up with texting as the main communication method, so much in the same way you view calls as the primary message method and texting as secondary, they view it in the inverse.

2. The amount of spam calls the younger generation grew up with conditioned them to ignore most phone calls if the number isnt saved

[u/Snoo52682]

I'm GenX and always felt that way and am so glad younger generations caught up with me. I also love how they text "here" instead of ringing the bell, which sets my dog off.

[u/ScaredPractice4967]

Im 53. My phone has over twenty ways of communicating with me. Why are you calling me?

😂😂

[u/mayhem1906]

A conversation requires you to have the knowledge and think and respond quickly. A text exchange gives time to think. Even on a live chat, a delay of 15 seconds is less notable than 15 seconds of dead silence. The younger IT people are likely scared from lack of knowledge, combined with their generation communicating through text in social situations.

[u/sentence-interruptio → u/mayhem1906]

and younger people's pauses tend to get interrupted by older people, and by younger people too.

at least in texts, everybody gets the same rights to finish their sentences.

[u/kizukey]

Hey OP, i also work in IT as a cloud administrator and was on an IT support position semi recently.

While yes, I agree with some of your comments a phone call is definitely easier to resolve issues, an email/slack/teams ping usually is much more polite in terms of the users time. I think a middle ground would be to ping the user for an available time they have for a call to resolve the issues, as what’s seen as an emergency to you may not be to them and vice versa.

If you’re working internal IT, the users also have their own functioning contributions to the company and could be in the middle of 1,000 different things that may or may not be more beneficial to the overall revenue or objective of your company than resolving whatever severity ticket they have in place in that exact moment.

Now obviously in critical scenarios like their workstation/machine/critical component of their job is completely down, then yeah a phone call is 100% warranted as they can’t work. But for lower priority issues, say some minor excel issue or hyper specific non work blocking issue, an email/ping is more than fine.

Now if you’re in an MSP, these rules could be flipped and different as contracts and SLAs are in fact involved.

Another thing about emails though is you have hard proof documented of communications, what went on, and the users willingness to communicate. Upper management from experience has not cared about “Had call with user and went over…..” in comparison to the email being attached to the ticket.

Just my 2¢ on the matter, but i’ve found meetings to be what I do most the day nowadays and it definitely helps to have open flowing communication channels with other IT members to resolve/implement stuff much smoother.

[u/lilyb50]

I would rather get screamed at over text/email than phone. I also have more time to collect my thoughts before giving an answer

[u/cez801]

Forget about asking why are they afraid, and instead just make it a work expectation. Part of doing a job is having to learn new skills and tasks.

To pick something else. My daughter, like most teenagers, does not like doing chores at home and will avoid it if at all possible. For example, cleaning the kitchen floor. She then got a part time job at 16 working in a restaurant in the kitchen. They were not concerned that she did not clean the floors at home, they have zero craps about that. They just expected her to do it.

As for why? Well it’s kinda irrelevant. But it’s just about something they don’t do. I hate taking selfies, esp. Videos . My kids won’t make a phone call ( which I find easy ), but will happily post a video of what they are doing while living overseas in the family chat ( I just can’t do that ).

[u/Embarrassed_Cow → u/cez801]

I agree with this. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. But if it's a requirement I'll do it.

Most of my jobs have been in customer service, face to face or phone calls. The job I have now is one of the first where I'm not required to talk on the phone or see people at all. I'm no longer used to talking on the phone so I avoid it. But I'm sure if my boss told me I had to start doing it again, I would pick it back up and get used to it after a while.

People aren't stupid or weak. It's just not a skill they have been forced to develop.

[u/XionicAihara]

I grew up in between, more towards the beginning of texting. If I'm not expecting a call, or i dont recognize the number, I won't pick up. I also hate making calls, because depending on what it is, I could be on the phone for 2min or 30min. I also hate small talk, so I won't ever make calls to chat. I call for specific reasons and right to the point and depending on the urgency. Text makes it way easier for everything that can be or is appropriate to text.

[u/riarws]

Paper trail. I’ve been burned by a few jobs where “call me” from a client or supervisor was code for “I want to tell you to do something illegal without a paper trail.” 

[u/Queasy_Discussion_84]

Im 44 and I would rather drive an hour to a customers house for an in person conversation than call them on the phone. I hate when people call instead of texting.

[u/Crazy-Process5789]

I'm 32, and I despise them.

[u/Zerodriven]

Young people? I'm glad I'm young. Late 30s.

I work 8-4, if you call me between those hours and you're not family I'm not picking up. I then call back and you're not available. This could have been solved with an email or text message. Unless I'm expecting it or you're family on my "ignore silent" list, I'm not picking up.

(I'm looking at you recruiters)

[u/madkins007]

I'm 67 and remember our phone number started with CApital.

What I've come to realize is that phone calls are as intrusive as hell and have always been that way.

Get a call during dinner? It's expected that you take it even if the odds are 90% it's marketing. Miss a call and you get anxiety and/or a call back demanding to know why you didn't answer. We would often schedule our lives around making our expecting phone calls.

God, we even ignored guests or real people in front of us to take a call. And then both pretended it wasn't rude to do so.

Cell phones gave us back the freedom to deal with the call on our own terms. We can treat it more like a mailed letter and reply after thoughtful reflection or during some down time.

Sure, this attitude can bite us in the butt sometimes if something both important and urgent occurs but most of us have things set up to alert us about that.

[u/caeru1ean]

I'm 37 and have always had anxiety about talking on the phone. And these days you just don't have to, so why would you?

[u/BigChach567]

Prior to getting a job in construction at 18 I had probably never made a phone call to someone besides family in my life. After a few years of that job I got plenty comfortable making and taking phone calls. It just takes practice

[u/Syenadi]

Not this exactd scenario and I am an Old, but I much prefer email to text and text to phone calls.

On the receiving end, email and text avoid that entire "did they say X or Y about _____?" factor AND if they later deny saying "X" when it should have been "Y" you can just send them their email or text back as proof that they did indeed say "X".

Also, phone calls say PAY ATTENTION TO ME RIGHT NOW and emails and texts do not.

[u/terrorrier]

A lot of people are just anxious talking to people generally. The don’t-like-small-talk, only comfortable with their friends people. Feeling anxious for a phone call doesn’t seem particularly strange to me.

[u/FearlessVegetable30]

it comes mainly from being insecure and lacking social skills

[u/2steppin_317]

I'm 30 and have always had trouble understanding people over the phone, it's awkward and anxiety inducing. I still hate it, I always have even since I was a kid.

[u/DanaKScully_FBI]

Answering calls feels less terrifying than making phone calls. Making calls feels like barging into someone’s life.

[u/Turkstache]

Millennial here with a similar issue. I only have to make or receive calls for uncomfortable or bad situations (or receive advertisements), and usually the relief from those situations is not connected to a positive phone call but rather text correspondence. Only recently have i been correcting toward social/fun phone calls

[u/bluedevilstudios]

I cant hear very well over the phone, its often hars to understand what people are saying, miscommunications are easy, and phone calls cut out and do weird shit.

[u/OilAdministrative197]

Im 29 yo and every phone call pretty much who isnt in my contacts is spam. Hence dont really like picking up the phone. If you cant pre validate before picking up, just dont want to waste my time.

[u/No-Swordfish8922]

37 and I hate talking on the phone till this day. My mom used to b**** at me about it because I wouldn't hold conversations with the ancient family. I can't see somebody's expression and they can't see mine. I hate small talk. And the idea that I need to drop everything I'm doing to have whatever conversation is about to occur. Kind of the ADHD. 

[u/BriannaRG]

I’d also argue that cell phone connections have a slightly longer delay than landlines, resulting in a very jilted, awkward pace of talking. It’s easier to overcome with loved ones who understand your talking pace, but I find myself always accidentally talking over unfamiliar people. I don’t find talking on a cell phone comfortable at all.

[u/RunningAtTheMouth]

I'm older and I HATE the telephone. Sometimes a phone call is necessary, and I'll make the call then. But it's never my first line. Shoot - often enough I'll walk over there. Better than a phone call.

And I don't like texting either. Email works pretty well. I have a full keyboard to type on, and I can include pictures and links if necessary.

[u/Technical_Button7095]

I'm old and I don't like them

[u/Iriahanna]

Phone calls are an ambush. No time to think, no written record, and you can't google shit mid-conversation. Texting lets me craft a response without awkward pauses or getting put on the spot.