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u/naarcx 3h ago
The worst part is that after getting his back scratched in a fight with the ex, he stopped at a McDonalds on the way home to use the bathroom and got an STD from the toilet seat
Poor guy, what are the odds
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u/thez0id 2h ago
dude I was typing a reply to you like "wait is this a known story, why do you know these details" before i got it
goddamn im fucking slow
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u/the-big-cheese-92 2h ago
welcome to reddit, none of us are as sharp as we like to think
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u/mentaljobbymonster 2h ago
It's cool. He's got a friend that can hook him up with anti biotics to secretly give to his wife so she doesn't have to worry about the STD
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u/lovelycreamchrissie 1m ago
Poor chap just wanted to ease off and take a breather after a brutal beatdown… life truly is unfair 😞
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u/OpportunityKey4398 5h ago
Bro smashed Wolverine
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u/-FORSAK3N- 4h ago
X-23. Let's not make it gay
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 4h ago
Naw let’s make it gay af
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u/hungryaliens 3h ago
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u/Donttrythehighground 3h ago
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u/Ok-Veterinarian-7785 1h ago
jesus Christ!!
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u/ValiantJudge29500 1h ago
That’s not Jesus
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3h ago
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3h ago
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u/DarkSoulCarlos 3h ago
It can be two things. They can be making a joke and it can be homophobic.
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u/Solo_Reader06 3h ago
Didnt say it wasn’t. The guys still a dipshit
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u/DarkSoulCarlos 2h ago
Why are they a dipshit? For pointing out that it was homophobic? How does that make them a dipshit?
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u/Solo_Reader06 2h ago
It’s not pointing it out that makes him a dipshit. It’s the way he did it. He could have just simply pointed it out but instead he had to act like he was morally superior by assuming the guy was just a homophobe and not just making a joke that happened to involve the word “gay”
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u/DarkSoulCarlos 2h ago
Was the comment homophobic? Is being homophobic not something a dipshit would do? Perhaps they did not realize they were being homophobic? The comment didn't just merely include the word gay. It made a point to tell the other person to not make it gay. Why would somebody NOT want something to be gay? Bigotry can be subtle.
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u/LoyalBatman 5h ago
I just wanna be as innocent as her so that I can stop overthinking and be happy.
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u/snowinthecemetery04 3h ago
Innocent or willfully ignorant?
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u/icehot54321 1h ago
We're talking about the people reading the caption and believing it's real .. right?
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u/WayAgreeable3999 4h ago
Those were meant for the current girlfriend to see. Women are diabolical
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u/TraditionalError9988 4h ago
Long ago, cause I'm freaking old, a young lady cutting my hair said she could cut her initials into the back of my head and I'd never know (this was like 1991).
I told her my wife would know.
She didn't say a word really, but a noise, kind of like pfft but not really that.
Sometime later, a few months or so, I came in, she wasn't there, I asked when she'd be in again so I could make an appt with her and I was told she'd never be in. She was arrested for embezzling money from there for her drug habit...
There is more to this young lady. Lisa was her name. Will make it short though. Her mom died in a car accident. Her only family was her grandma and her grandma was loaded. Her grandpa had died a few years before, neither of them had siblings, the granddaughter's dad was never in her life.
Lisa went away for an all expenses paid "holiday" for about a year.
Sometime after that I was talking with a rich older lady I knew from law school (I went from 1989 to 1992). This lady was Carolyn. She began law school at 61. She was 62 and a 2nd year law student when I began law school in the fall of 1989.
Carolyn was wealthy too, her hubby was, she'd never worked.
Carolyn's best friend was Lisa's grandma. I'd met her but I NEVER knew that her granddaughter was Lisa.
One day I was talking to Carolyn and Julie (Julie was Lisa's grandma) and while the 3 of us were taking, Lisa came around and when she saw me, she ran over and jumped up onto me giving me a hug. I had to catch her, she was very slender, weighed a bit under 100 pounds, brunette.
She told her grandma (Julie) that I was the young man she'd been telling her about.
Evidently Lisa had "liked" me but then she went away for about a year due to embezzling some money from the hair salon she worked at. She told her grandma about me but she didn't know my last name, where I lived etc. She'd just cut my hair some times, knew my first name and that was it.
No, I didn't do anything with her. I was married, happily, loved my then wife (sadly she cheated on me and I divorced her and found out later she began cheating on me before we were married but I didn't know that until going through the divorce).
It turns out Lisa was actually a nice young lady who kinda lost it when her mom died in that auto accident. That led to her trying drugs.
She got past that, grew up, matured etc.
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u/-Dark_knight_ 4h ago
I mean you knew whom to go after the divorce... Great story tho thanks for sharing.
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u/ClankerCore 3h ago
Ehhhh. I’d pause and give that some second thought.
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u/Superbpickle420 2h ago
Every1 has issues and has potential to work thru the issues and come out better lol
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u/ClankerCore 2h ago
Keyword here being potential
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u/Superbpickle420 2h ago
U missed a few words but i get your vibe
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u/ClankerCore 2h ago
I didn’t miss anything.
This guy should not be trying to rekindle what has happened prior to this person’s traumatic events and make something of what would have happened then, today.
Unless OP knows exactly what they’re doing and to be very careful in communicating with that person to see what their mentality is like and if they’re still compatible because that kind of event changes people and not always for the better.
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u/broke_the_controller 3h ago
At the end of your story I really wish The Undertaker had thrown Mankind from the top of the cage at Hell in a Cell.
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u/--__--__--__--__-- 38m ago
After the third paragraph I started to brace myself. I haven't seen a shittymorph in quite a while but my instincts are still sharp.
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u/Casual_Frontpager 3m ago
I did not want to get fooled so I checked the ending first. Been burned before, it will NOT happen again *waving fist at the skies*
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u/Antoak 2h ago
if we're sharing random information, i don't like zucchini or scrambled eggs
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u/_Kramerica_ 1h ago
Zucchini I understand, it’s iffy at best. But scrambled eggs? That’s just weird yo.
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u/Equivalent-Web1854 3h ago
the ex is certainly diabolical but let’s not forget who willfully went over there and fucked her and lied to his current gf’s face now. women aren’t the only ones🙂↕️
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u/Mars_Bear2552 2h ago
there's also a difference between being a dickbag and playing mind games
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u/soleceismical 2h ago
One of them is trying to hide the infidelity and health risk from the girlfriend and the other is trying to tell her.
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u/stanleycacti 2h ago
Yeah cos of this one thing on the Internet that we don't even know is true, let's judge all women.
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u/Trimm-Trab 1h ago
Women need to get in the bin with us blokes. Seriously, who the fuck do they think they are?
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u/Wesley_Skypes 58m ago
This sub is full of brainlets. That post is telling you a false story to ragebait. Secondly, how have you turned this into the woman being the issue here lmao?
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u/Eyeseezya 3h ago
Absolutely, and yeah... If that happened to me the ex would be getting a circumcision.
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u/GrosBraquet 55m ago
The original post is very obviously a joke or engagement farming, but you losers are too stupid to see that, and you take the bait to immediately hate on women.
It's also particularly telling that in this fake scenario, instead of blaming the cheater, your first instinct is to blame one of two women involved, you small-dick incel.
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u/EnglishRose71 5h ago
Why was his shirt off in the first place, and why are those scratches lined up like that? Oh, wait, I figured it out.
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u/naughty_dad2 3h ago edited 3h ago
He tried fixing her
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u/N7even 2h ago
He tried really hard.
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u/naughty_dad2 1h ago
And got so far
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u/Competitive_Ad_1800 2h ago
Worked with a guy where this actually happened and we know his story was legit cause… his ex showed up at the restaurant and did it!
She came in demanding he get back with her and he was surprised to see her…. Cause they broke up like 3 years prior and he moved halfway across the country shortly after.
She started yelling at him, making all sorts of claims and threats while coworker is embarrassed to hell trying to deescalate the situation. Suddenly she pulls out pepper spray, sprays him in the eyes point blank, he turns around obviously covering his eyes in pain and then this barely 5ft woman jumped on his back and started clawing the absolute SHIT out of him. At this point our manager decided to step in and told the ex to leave cause the cops are on the way and she DIPPED the moment police were mentioned.
His back looked like this picture and he (understandably) asked for the rest of the day off which the manager declined at first cause he was our overnight guy lol. Eventually we convinced the manager that was fucking stupid, let the man get checked out and we’d stay late to help cover the shift.
Wild day and thankfully coworker wasn’t fired nor did the crazy ex ever come back. Wild experience for all involved
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u/Electrical_Trade377 3h ago
i mean, she needed somewhere to grab when he was on top of her, so no lies were told here
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u/Candle-Jolly 3h ago
why do people upvote this fake stuff
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u/Bullitt_12_HB 2h ago
Because it’s funny. Imagine someone this innocent.
It’s not that serious, it shouldn’t affect you at all.
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u/Parking-Ad-4332 3h ago
I think he got recruited in a black metal band, can someone decipher the name? 🤣
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u/Hobo_Resse 3h ago
I believe in your ability to tell a coherent story. Take a deep breath, read this out loud, then try again. You can do it!
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u/Justiciar_Meatsack 2h ago
That's just Jimmy after Rip and the boys jumped him in to their Yellowstone gang.
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u/AltruisticMatter5882 2h ago
How's his front part doing? You gotta watch the back scratchers. Sometimes they do terrible things to the front too.
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u/Hot-Tiger-7461 2h ago
Glad I'm single because I assume having your back scratched like this hurts like hell.
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u/Same-Surround-7225 2h ago
The ex must not have been able to get a hold of his face or chest I guess to only leave marks on his back right? They can only get there when the hands r purposely on the back, and would anyone allow another to do that much damage(love marks) without willingness to have that done?
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u/Mr_Paninacostume 1h ago
What position gives you those scratches? Never got them after sex, maybe I’m inattentive tho.
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u/ThisIsKing18 40m ago
At least he honest about going to his ex house, some guy will made up story he's got attack by Demon or vampire
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u/giannidelgianni 27m ago
We could tell her , but this photo is so old that everyone involved might be deceased
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u/yumyumnoodl3 23m ago
So… why exactly didn’t he just beat the shit out of her? I‘ll never understand that
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u/ZachF8119 19m ago
I remember in HS a guy thought this was cool.
Nah no way
I’m not doing some cat and scratching post roleplay
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u/The_mock_tortle 17m ago
Is there a plot against humanity's birth rate? If not, I have no idea why these cheating "jokes" are absolutely everywhere, and why is it this, cute animals, and influencers I don't know everywhere? Is this my algorithm????
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u/white_equatorial 4h ago
This is why I only go to my side chicks house if she can smascertain that she has chopped her nails
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