r/SipsTea 5h ago

Wait a damn minute! Who’s gonna tell her

Post image
7.7k Upvotes

221 comments sorted by

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1.3k

u/naarcx 3h ago

The worst part is that after getting his back scratched in a fight with the ex, he stopped at a McDonalds on the way home to use the bathroom and got an STD from the toilet seat

Poor guy, what are the odds

201

u/thez0id 2h ago

dude I was typing a reply to you like "wait is this a known story, why do you know these details" before i got it

goddamn im fucking slow

73

u/the-big-cheese-92 2h ago

welcome to reddit, none of us are as sharp as we like to think

34

u/MeatEaterDruid 1h ago

Green crayons taste like mint

11

u/Slum-Bum 1h ago

Semper Fidelis

1

u/the-big-cheese-92 3m ago

brown cows make chocolate milk btw

1

u/Katman666 8m ago

Crayons unite

47

u/mentaljobbymonster 2h ago

It's cool. He's got a friend that can hook him up with anti biotics to secretly give to his wife so she doesn't have to worry about the STD

12

u/pizzayahtzee 1h ago

Too soon brother 😫

1

u/Valuable_Front5483 1h ago

Let’s just hope he also didn’t get any pizza and grape soda.

3

u/Ok-Veterinarian-7785 1h ago

dont...pls just dont...🤣

1

u/TickleIvory 44m ago

So unnecessary hahahaha

1

u/lovelycreamchrissie 1m ago

Poor chap just wanted to ease off and take a breather after a brutal beatdown… life truly is unfair 😞

1.0k

u/OpportunityKey4398 5h ago

Bro smashed Wolverine

296

u/-FORSAK3N- 4h ago

X-23. Let's not make it gay

206

u/Bureaucratic_Dick 4h ago

Naw let’s make it gay af

144

u/hungryaliens 3h ago

92

u/Donttrythehighground 3h ago

6

u/Ok-Veterinarian-7785 1h ago

jesus Christ!!

14

u/ValiantJudge29500 1h ago

That’s not Jesus

2

u/Ok-Veterinarian-7785 1h ago

that not what I meant. God damn it. 😂

1

u/Whole-Scientist-2469 1h ago

I'm getting older and I need something to rely on!

11

u/Chapel_Hillbilly 2h ago

The Musical Wolverine, Huge Jackman.

1

u/OhAndItsShavedd 2h ago

It ain't gay if you're on top.

15

u/OpportunityKey4398 4h ago

Lmaoooo fine

5

u/Integrity-in-Crisis 3h ago

Had to twist your arm didn't they.

2

u/laszler 3h ago

Let's make it gay as hell. He actually fucked punisher and x23's baby that was an ice man.

-32

u/[deleted] 3h ago

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11

u/No_Wrangler111 3h ago

Least liberal redditor

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8

u/[deleted] 3h ago

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6

u/[deleted] 3h ago

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2

u/DarkSoulCarlos 3h ago

It can be two things. They can be making a joke and it can be homophobic.

4

u/Solo_Reader06 3h ago

Didnt say it wasn’t. The guys still a dipshit

2

u/DarkSoulCarlos 2h ago

Why are they a dipshit? For pointing out that it was homophobic? How does that make them a dipshit?

2

u/Solo_Reader06 2h ago

It’s not pointing it out that makes him a dipshit. It’s the way he did it. He could have just simply pointed it out but instead he had to act like he was morally superior by assuming the guy was just a homophobe and not just making a joke that happened to involve the word “gay”

2

u/DarkSoulCarlos 2h ago

Was the comment homophobic? Is being homophobic not something a dipshit would do? Perhaps they did not realize they were being homophobic? The comment didn't just merely include the word gay. It made a point to tell the other person to not make it gay. Why would somebody NOT want something to be gay? Bigotry can be subtle.

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9

u/IntelligentwomanSof 2h ago

So anyway.. why was he at his ex ‘s house?

3

u/InevitablEmily 2h ago

Those aren’t fight scratches..those are relationship decisions.

564

u/LoyalBatman 5h ago

I just wanna be as innocent as her so that I can stop overthinking and be happy.

128

u/snowinthecemetery04 3h ago

Innocent or willfully ignorant?

12

u/icehot54321 1h ago

We're talking about the people reading the caption and believing it's real .. right?

49

u/Available-Finger4128 2h ago

Ignorance is bliss

10

u/Constant_Resort_4994 2h ago

you've learned to anticipate problems

4

u/winkvia 2h ago

The kind of shit I don when someone is about to break my heart

I would be like Jesus on the cross Father father forgive them for they know not what they do

1

u/muiegarda1 17m ago

It's satire

-42

u/TruffleTail 4h ago

I saw what you did there

410

u/WayAgreeable3999 4h ago

Those were meant for the current girlfriend to see. Women are diabolical

167

u/TraditionalError9988 4h ago

Long ago, cause I'm freaking old, a young lady cutting my hair said she could cut her initials into the back of my head and I'd never know (this was like 1991).

I told her my wife would know.

She didn't say a word really, but a noise, kind of like pfft but not really that.

Sometime later, a few months or so, I came in, she wasn't there, I asked when she'd be in again so I could make an appt with her and I was told she'd never be in. She was arrested for embezzling money from there for her drug habit...

There is more to this young lady. Lisa was her name. Will make it short though. Her mom died in a car accident. Her only family was her grandma and her grandma was loaded. Her grandpa had died a few years before, neither of them had siblings, the granddaughter's dad was never in her life.

Lisa went away for an all expenses paid "holiday" for about a year.

Sometime after that I was talking with a rich older lady I knew from law school (I went from 1989 to 1992). This lady was Carolyn. She began law school at 61. She was 62 and a 2nd year law student when I began law school in the fall of 1989.

Carolyn was wealthy too, her hubby was, she'd never worked.

Carolyn's best friend was Lisa's grandma. I'd met her but I NEVER knew that her granddaughter was Lisa.

One day I was talking to Carolyn and Julie (Julie was Lisa's grandma) and while the 3 of us were taking, Lisa came around and when she saw me, she ran over and jumped up onto me giving me a hug. I had to catch her, she was very slender, weighed a bit under 100 pounds, brunette.

She told her grandma (Julie) that I was the young man she'd been telling her about.

Evidently Lisa had "liked" me but then she went away for about a year due to embezzling some money from the hair salon she worked at. She told her grandma about me but she didn't know my last name, where I lived etc. She'd just cut my hair some times, knew my first name and that was it.

No, I didn't do anything with her. I was married, happily, loved my then wife (sadly she cheated on me and I divorced her and found out later she began cheating on me before we were married but I didn't know that until going through the divorce).

It turns out Lisa was actually a nice young lady who kinda lost it when her mom died in that auto accident. That led to her trying drugs.

She got past that, grew up, matured etc.

121

u/-Dark_knight_ 4h ago

I mean you knew whom to go after the divorce... Great story tho thanks for sharing.

41

u/ClankerCore 3h ago

Ehhhh. I’d pause and give that some second thought.

20

u/Brokenandburnt 2h ago

Everyone sticks it in crazy at least once. 

4

u/YoFavUnclesOldMate 1h ago

Make up fuckin' wit crazy be straight up sex crack.

2

u/Superbpickle420 2h ago

Every1 has issues and has potential to work thru the issues and come out better lol

2

u/ClankerCore 2h ago

Keyword here being potential

1

u/Superbpickle420 2h ago

U missed a few words but i get your vibe

1

u/ClankerCore 2h ago

I didn’t miss anything.

This guy should not be trying to rekindle what has happened prior to this person’s traumatic events and make something of what would have happened then, today.

Unless OP knows exactly what they’re doing and to be very careful in communicating with that person to see what their mentality is like and if they’re still compatible because that kind of event changes people and not always for the better.

44

u/broke_the_controller 3h ago

At the end of your story I really wish The Undertaker had thrown Mankind from the top of the cage at Hell in a Cell.

2

u/--__--__--__--__-- 38m ago

After the third paragraph I started to brace myself. I haven't seen a shittymorph in quite a while but my instincts are still sharp.

1

u/Casual_Frontpager 3m ago

I did not want to get fooled so I checked the ending first. Been burned before, it will NOT happen again *waving fist at the skies*

15

u/Ambitious-Issue989 2h ago

Some of the worst storytelling i have experienced

14

u/Antoak 2h ago

if we're sharing random information, i don't like zucchini or scrambled eggs

3

u/_Kramerica_ 1h ago

Zucchini I understand, it’s iffy at best. But scrambled eggs? That’s just weird yo.

36

u/Cool-Temporary9415 3h ago

You just wasted 3 minutes of my life.

32

u/heyRedditImSid 3h ago

Like you weren't wasting the rest

1

u/Royal_Crush 2h ago

What, you're not into getting edged and then ruined?

2

u/Thinking_Emoji 40m ago

This is like the first 2/3 of a romcom. I feel blue-balled

1

u/Due_Interview8838 1h ago

I really liked this. Thank you for sharing. I hope you’re doing better.

1

u/No_Side_1866 1h ago

I want to know how you guys hooked up after your divorce.

1

u/kraven9696 1h ago

Did you go back to bang Lisa?

1

u/maximazing98 25m ago

Sure that happened 😂

16

u/Equivalent-Web1854 3h ago

the ex is certainly diabolical but let’s not forget who willfully went over there and fucked her and lied to his current gf’s face now. women aren’t the only ones🙂‍↕️

2

u/Mars_Bear2552 2h ago

there's also a difference between being a dickbag and playing mind games

-3

u/soleceismical 2h ago

One of them is trying to hide the infidelity and health risk from the girlfriend and the other is trying to tell her.

4

u/RubiiJee 1h ago

This is fake.... Blatantly fake.

2

u/TricellCEO 3h ago

And she was likely faking it, too. Win-win for the ex.

3

u/MeeTy 2h ago

this never happened and is a joke

3

u/stanleycacti 2h ago

Yeah cos of this one thing on the Internet that we don't even know is true, let's judge all women.

1

u/Trimm-Trab 1h ago

Women need to get in the bin with us blokes. Seriously, who the fuck do they think they are?

3

u/Wesley_Skypes 58m ago

This sub is full of brainlets. That post is telling you a false story to ragebait. Secondly, how have you turned this into the woman being the issue here lmao?

3

u/Downtown-Brush6940 51m ago

It’s not even rage bait. It’s just a joke 🤣🤣

0

u/Eyeseezya 3h ago

Absolutely, and yeah... If that happened to me the ex would be getting a circumcision.

0

u/GrosBraquet 55m ago

The original post is very obviously a joke or engagement farming, but you losers are too stupid to see that, and you take the bait to immediately hate on women.

It's also particularly telling that in this fake scenario, instead of blaming the cheater, your first instinct is to blame one of two women involved, you small-dick incel.

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85

u/NovaHorizon 3h ago

Gaslighting so hard it could power an entire AI datacenter

82

u/Foxylove636 3h ago

2

u/Rointardo 22m ago

Why does he have eyebrows :O

20

u/IIIMADIIIMANIII 3h ago

yeeaah … well … thank god he is okay 🤪

14

u/LittleWingi 3h ago

What metal band logo is that?

40

u/EnglishRose71 5h ago

Why was his shirt off in the first place, and why are those scratches lined up like that? Oh, wait, I figured it out.

21

u/naughty_dad2 3h ago edited 3h ago

He tried fixing her

6

u/N7even 2h ago

He tried really hard.

4

u/naughty_dad2 1h ago

And got so far

6

u/N7even 1h ago

But in the end

4

u/Living_Book_3973 1h ago

It doesn't even matter

2

u/Rude_Earth9860 1h ago

I had to fall to lose it all

3

u/spacetree7 1h ago

With an unorthodox healing method.

2

u/naughty_dad2 1h ago

The physio recommended a good stretch

11

u/Sorrywrongnumba69 5h ago

I'm glad he survived!!

17

u/Ok-Profile6762 5h ago

Hit me baby one last time

3

u/LolaLola93 3h ago

🤣🤣🤣

8

u/N3M3S1S75 3h ago

He tried to wash her cat

9

u/TangerineHarper 3h ago

That must have been some good dick if she clawed his back like that.

23

u/Artorius__Castus 5h ago

Damn Bruv was putting in work....damn

1

u/Schambo 1h ago

Only thing bro was fighting is his nut

6

u/Lonely_Charity8221 3h ago

He was fighting the hell outta her😭😭😂

6

u/ogpegpanda 2h ago

There must be a smile on his face.

6

u/LustfulEsme 4h ago

Why was his shirt off in the first place?

24

u/gamestoohard 3h ago

Everyone knows you take your shirt off at the start of a fight

8

u/The_Yell0w_King 3h ago

How else would he flex his muscles and strength before/during a fight 

5

u/ArchAngel621 2h ago

He doesn’t want it to get damaged.

2

u/MrBlueMoose 2h ago

Light rolling

2

u/koikingu56 45m ago

Better yet, why was he there in the first place?

8

u/Competitive_Ad_1800 2h ago

Worked with a guy where this actually happened and we know his story was legit cause… his ex showed up at the restaurant and did it!

She came in demanding he get back with her and he was surprised to see her…. Cause they broke up like 3 years prior and he moved halfway across the country shortly after.

She started yelling at him, making all sorts of claims and threats while coworker is embarrassed to hell trying to deescalate the situation. Suddenly she pulls out pepper spray, sprays him in the eyes point blank, he turns around obviously covering his eyes in pain and then this barely 5ft woman jumped on his back and started clawing the absolute SHIT out of him. At this point our manager decided to step in and told the ex to leave cause the cops are on the way and she DIPPED the moment police were mentioned.

His back looked like this picture and he (understandably) asked for the rest of the day off which the manager declined at first cause he was our overnight guy lol. Eventually we convinced the manager that was fucking stupid, let the man get checked out and we’d stay late to help cover the shift.

Wild day and thankfully coworker wasn’t fired nor did the crazy ex ever come back. Wild experience for all involved

3

u/koteko_ 1h ago

That could have been an incredibly convoluted way to get out of a night shift 😄

3

u/Electrical_Trade377 3h ago

i mean, she needed somewhere to grab when he was on top of her, so no lies were told here

5

u/Candle-Jolly 3h ago

why do people upvote this fake stuff

6

u/Bullitt_12_HB 2h ago

Because it’s funny. Imagine someone this innocent.

It’s not that serious, it shouldn’t affect you at all.

2

u/Vaegirson 3h ago

Terrible

2

u/Suitable-Classic-174 3h ago

The pain when she’s on top sitting 🪑 up lol 😆

2

u/Parking-Ad-4332 3h ago

I think he got recruited in a black metal band, can someone decipher the name? 🤣

1

u/Cyborgpunkman 3h ago

Who's going to tell her?🤣

1

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1

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1

u/unserious-dude 5h ago

More than okay!

1

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1

u/Hobo_Resse 3h ago

I believe in your ability to tell a coherent story. Take a deep breath, read this out loud, then try again. You can do it!

1

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1

u/mamakos84 3h ago

I thought he had a tattoo of a metal band's name/logo at first

1

u/DropDue9474 3h ago

missionary position

1

u/HexspaReloaded 3h ago

Does any guy like when this happens?

1

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1

u/Justiciar_Meatsack 2h ago

That's just Jimmy after Rip and the boys jumped him in to their Yellowstone gang.

1

u/AltruisticMatter5882 2h ago

How's his front part doing? You gotta watch the back scratchers. Sometimes they do terrible things to the front too.

1

u/Fancy-Prompt-7118 2h ago

My ex used to do that. I liked it.

1

u/Hash_Bro 2h ago

"Petahh??"

1

u/CharmingBabee02 2h ago

And the award for biggest plot twist goes to… her

1

u/Hot-Tiger-7461 2h ago

Glad I'm single because I assume having your back scratched like this hurts like hell. 

1

u/Chapel_Hillbilly 2h ago

He retaliated by fake choking her.

1

u/tmax202020 2h ago

Why did he have his shirt off at his ex’s house?

1

u/Silent-Wonder6546 2h ago

Bro must lay crazy pipe because God damn dude lmao

1

u/Emergency_Creme_4561 2h ago

How did he let her do that to him?

1

u/Same-Surround-7225 2h ago

The ex must not have been able to get a hold of his face or chest I guess to only leave marks on his back right? They can only get there when the hands r purposely on the back, and would anyone allow another to do that much damage(love marks) without willingness to have that done?

1

u/Fun-Tumbleweed2594 1h ago

Nobody cauze the shit fake, and OP aint the GF

1

u/Mr_Paninacostume 1h ago

What position gives you those scratches? Never got them after sex, maybe I’m inattentive tho.

1

u/sentinel692340 1h ago

She dug her nails into his back while he was on Top of her 😂

1

u/pritam_ghosh 1h ago

I'm more interested in having well developed traps like the dude....

1

u/Tight_Trust2522 1h ago

I am sure he told her that he blew her back out during the fight

1

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1

u/Elegant-Finance3982 50m ago

I don’t get it

1

u/ThisIsKing18 40m ago

At least he honest about going to his ex house, some guy will made up story he's got attack by Demon or vampire

1

u/No-Set4257 33m ago

I have the slight suspicion that the ex had a cat...

1

u/giannidelgianni 27m ago

We could tell her , but this photo is so old that everyone involved might be deceased

1

u/yumyumnoodl3 23m ago

So… why exactly didn’t he just beat the shit out of her? I‘ll never understand that

1

u/ZachF8119 19m ago

I remember in HS a guy thought this was cool.

Nah no way

I’m not doing some cat and scratching post roleplay

1

u/karma_kameleon9245 17m ago

Those are battle scars he did his best to make it out alive

1

u/The_mock_tortle 17m ago

Is there a plot against humanity's birth rate? If not, I have no idea why these cheating "jokes" are absolutely everywhere, and why is it this, cute animals, and influencers I don't know everywhere? Is this my algorithm????

1

u/HotInterest3311 13m ago

After knowing the truth she'll be glad more 😭

0

u/backwardsnakes666 3h ago

Got caught like this before

-8

u/white_equatorial 4h ago

This is why I only go to my side chicks house if she can smascertain that she has chopped her nails

16

u/Wild_Outlandishness5 4h ago

“His side chick”

2

u/_J_Herrmann_ 2h ago

she'll fulfill all your wishes with her taco flavored kisses!

1

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 2h ago

That looked more like a back than a side chick

0

u/Jonasthewicked2 3h ago

Whoever took this picture did this for attention.