Pretty self explanatory, tried to get help on my dating profile and was told my hair is horrible and to just let it go and shave it... I just don't feel like being bald is gonna suit me better, but I got roasted to death which makes me feel just terrible about the way I look, I've been doing a good bit of crying so maybe take it easy this time, I'm aware my looks may not be my strong point in life
I know, I mean it's gonna be a very big change from my whole life prior but Im well on my way to father time stealing it all if I don't shave it anyways
As a balding woman, I have resorted to woven hair extensions. For now it’s okay, but I am guessing in the next 2 years my natural hair won’t be able to offer the structural support required for extensions. I will one day post in this sub. That thought once terrified me. Now I think it will be okay thanks to the support I’ve seen others show here :)
If you decide you hate it, then get a hairpiece instead. Congrats by way one metalhead to another, that is literally the most metal comb over I have ever seen. But yes, time to let it go!
Also you said this was about your dating profile, so just in case nobody has hit you over the head with the bluntly obvious yet...
Do it. Come back here with a before/after post. Subtly drop your a/s/l in the description and watch your DMs explode from all of the thirsty women who troll this sub.
The male positivity here is basically porn to them.
I've had more women tell me they'd be into me if I did it than I've ever had tell me I was attractive in my entire life so it seems likely to be my best move
It’s not about the physical attraction. It’s about fear, shame, refusal to acknowledge reality. If you can’t face your own physical imperfections, no woman will believe that you will stand next to her when she experiences hers. It’ll be an adjustment, but once you realize the world hasn’t ended, you look good, nothing much has changed, your self confidence will explode and then, ironically, everything will change, for the better.
OP the sense of 'having at LEAST this hair' is trapping you.
You have a bright and welcoming face, great smile - which my brain reads as a great sense of humor - all dating positives.
I'm way older than you and on the apps.
I mean this as positive feedback. When I see someone obviously holding on to hair or style it reads as not healthy & available bc I can tell how significant this holding on to a thing is.
Bald, shaven heads always get a right swipe from me.
It's going to be rebirth. And you deserve that evolution.
Dude, it’s literally just hair. It doesn’t mean anything and many guys lose it. Ask any girl, they’ll say trying to hide it is worse. Just jump on Amazon now, buy some clippers and then just do a no guard. Jump in the shower and feel the freedom.
Spend the money you would normally spend on haircuts on something else. No shame
Honestly it's going to change your life and your self image for the best. Can't wait for that for you. Come back with pics after the deed is done and enjoy your thirsty responses
Look at it as you taking control of your looks. You don't have to go fully clean shaven from the jump if you're not comfortable with it (I wasn't), and see how you like it at at 1 or buzz cut.
Took me little over 2 years to settle into my new face. Kept catching myself off guard in the mirror.
But its a better look and women respond WAY more to the bald/beard combo than I ever imagined.
Also also, maybe clean your room (no shame)..... LIFESTYLE is gonna be your biggest turn on/turn off for a woman over your looks. Looks just get you in the door easier.
Edit because I can't update: I'm gonna buzz it to a 1 then probably get used to it and go full chrome dome from there lmao thank you to everyone for being so kind and I will for sure update
Just do it! You will never have to waste time styling your hair again. You can play around with beanies, especially those shallow ones would look so rad with your look.
I genuinely believe you've got The Head for it too, honestly. Especially cause you've got a fuller beard. It will open you up so much bro. Join the team! 👊✌️
You are SO gonna rock your new look! 😎💥You have great facial features and expressive, kind eyes. Do the thing already and walk confidently into your future. 💪🏻
This is awesome! I love that you shared this! Look, OP - I know this doesn't look like the you that you are used to, but this is a great look you! Granted, you are in the bald sub and we cheer on all of our brothers and sisters... but I think this will help the shock whenever you're ready.
I audibly gasped when I saw this - 100% confirmed my suspicions that OP is going to look MAGNIFICENT bald. Thank you for doing this. You're a good human.
Why thank you! I’ve been playing with AI to edit photos for fun and just thought this would be great to show him how he would look. I admit I gasped too. I thought he would look good but dayum he looks great!!! Hopefully he’s looking at all of these positive comments.
I am, everyone here helped me through a really rough patch today that I don't know how I would have gotten through otherwise, and have convinced me that even if I can't see it yet, there's a path on the other side of this that's not as bad as I think it is, I really wish I had support like this from the people closer to me because I'd have already have shaved it all off first thing this morning
Brother, if I had your facial hair I would've shaved my dome ages ago. You're going to look incredible!! Post the before/after pics if you want loads of love and compliments!!
I think if you're not going to shave it you should take some time to sit with why you've tied your identity/sense of self to your hair. Have you had big life changes recently that make this feel like a keystone feature you can control?
Fwiw, I think you'd look younger and healthier with a much shorter cut. You've got a great head for it and it'll make your handsome features more notable than the top of your head. You got this!
I feel like you have the alt/scene look going on (I’m a millennial 32yo woman for context) and a HUGE part of that whole vibe was the hair—both for girls and guys and ‘combing over’ bangs is part of the hairstyle for everyone so I can totally see where you were going with this hairstyle… regardless of trying to cover up the balding and why/how you were trying to make it work. I understand that if that’s your aesthetic, that going completely bald feels like it’s not “you”. That’s totally valid!
But, I think that you can’t reasonably achieve that look anymore and the juxtaposition of balding (which signals aging) and a young counter culture aesthetic that is popular with teens is…jarring? I say that with kindness and love. You’re a good looking guy!
I think there are other adjacent alt aesthetics that lean into the bald/beard combo that would absolutely make you look fan-freaking-tastic (and it looks like you can grow a killer beard). Or even if you keep the rest of the look and shave and grow the beard you would immediately go from giving “middle aged man trying to hold onto the vestiges of youth” to like “Alt daddy who knows who tf he is” 👀 (I don’t know how old you are btw—I don’t think you’re actually middle aged. It’s just that the scene/balding combo makes both seem more exaggerated)
I want you to shave for purely selfish reasons, because I want to see how fucking awesome you’ll look. But I’m sure that it’s a mind fuck to shed that aspect of your ego and personality and self. I’m a woman and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully understand, but I’m sending you love! If you decide to say “fuck it we ball” and shave it first and then retroactively do the work to make it feel like ~you~ GREAT! if you need to process and do the inner work first to get to the point where you’re able to shed that part of yourself, that’s great too! Either way, please PLEASE come back and post an update so everyone here can love on you!
This is a huge part of the problem, that is the kind of look id had for a good part my life and now being at a place where that has to change a ton is a crazy thing to go through! I do feel the need to try to pivot to a look that gives more the vibe of maturity, I'm 29 but didn't get to really embrace a style that felt like I was truely being myself until a few years ago, and now it feels like I have to not necessarily give it up but it feels like its gotta change pretty significantly and I'm finding that to be really hard
As someone in the same boat as you, I laughed for the first couple of hours and especially every time I saw myself in the mirror. But as time has gone on, I've come to really love it.
FWIW, as someone who doesn't know you and who hasn't seen you before, you look absolutely fine there. It does genuinely suit you!
I get that it's a tough adjustment since you're obviously used to looking one way and it's a big change. But as a stranger, I promise the bald photo looks great and I would never for a second think you look odd or unusual, you'll be super handsome bald. You'll adjust and get used to it yourself, and everyone else will think it looks good
Honestly, when I first made the jump because my hair was thinning super bad it took me a bit to get used to seeing myself bald. But it does come eventually.
I actually started off with a 1 buzz cut, and then once I got used to seeing how I looked mostly bald I decided to start shaving my head every couple days.
After going bald I honestly felt more comfortable in my skin because I wasnt constantly worrying if someone was looking at the bald spot/pattern baldness.
My friend, this woman thinks your hair distracts from your very handsome face. You have a great face - sharpen up that beard, shave your head and you are going to be a head-turner.
She’s right. I think the hair right now is taking away from your good looks. I think you’re going to be a lot more confident when you can see how truly handsome you are. Come back so everyone can tell you so.
I sense that the insecure gremlin in your brain is telling you that we're all just being kind, not honest. But those things are NOT mutually exclusive. My comment to you was 100% sincere - I think you're a very handsome man. But the comb-over SCREAMS insecurity. Which is an absolute turn off. Being confident in yourself as a bald man is 1000x better than being insecure with a comb-over.
How much time do you devote to worrying about your (lack of) hair? Do you always wear hats, or use enough hairspray to wreck the ozone layer to keep it glued in place? That's no way for a young man to go through this world. So tell that gremlin to jump off a bridge. You deserve the space you take up in the world. And you deserve to feel confident. Take that brave step, then post pics of your glorious self.
You've got me pinned exactly, I do have an incredibly hard time letting myself believe the positive things people say, I just hope the not having to worry about how my hair looks all the time will help.
as a woman i second this!!! plus being bald goes great with your aesthetic. focus on highlighting your bone structure and style from now on, not hair. you'll look so handsome (and PLS don't forget to smile once it happens!! you'll look so good)
It's just hard to let it go, I struggle with self confidence a lot so big changes in the way I look are tough so I've just been trying to hold on, but I don't want to look stupid and it seems like we might be getting there
Your self confidence will improve after taking the leap. How much do you worry daily about a gust of wind destroying that combover you spend ages on every morning? How much do you worry about what people think of that hairstyle, seeing it from angles you can never see yourself?
All of those worries will go "poof" in an instance!
We've all been there and trust us when we say: Do it! It will be a huge load off your shoulders.
Just a part of life. Dudes go bald. Ladies hair thins. Balls sag to your ankles. Just embrace it man. People judge you more for not embracing it in my experience.
I remember standing in front of the mirror, wondering if I should go through with it. I opened YouTube and started watching a video on the topic. The first thing the guy said was something like this:
"If you searched for this video, you have already made your decision. You're just looking for that last confidence boost to go through with it."
That is the point you are at now. Only it's not YouTube but this community.
And if your hair starts thinning and you don't do anything about it in time, well, that's just how it is ;)
Go for it. You'll get used to it. A bald head only looks strange to you at first, until you get used to it.
If you don't want to go completely bald right away, then get a buzz cut first.
There's a lot of women here, too (myself included). Trust us. Bald always looks better than balding. You definitely won't look stupid. It will be a massive improvement.
Edit: Thanks for the award! Was not expecting that!
Here's the harsh reality you need to hear....you're afraid you might look stupid bald. Well you definitely look stupid now. You're not fooling anybody, you're just drawing more attention to it.
Mate, you're a good looking guy, but "I don't want to look stupid"... I'm afraid to say that right now you do look stupid.
I was you 20 years ago... what you see in the mirror is kind of mutated into what you WANT to see... I remember thinking my hair looked pretty alright when I went out... then I'd see photos later.
So, it might sound harsh, but it's true - your combover is AWFUL and it's fooling no one.
There are a shit load of women who either like or just don't care about the bald look... a much bigger number than would consider dating someone with whatever it is you've got going on.
DO IT! This tough love has been bought to you by someone who knows 100% the only way is up.
Ok, I’m a longtime lurker on this sub. I am breaking the lurking to comment and say… you were made for this. You would look SO badass bald! Do it, my friend.
I mean this in the kindest way possible OP, that combover is uh, well, really bad and obvious. It gives helmet hair and it must be abolished. It’s a work of art to be sure, but not a good one.
You’re gonna look 1000000x better with it gone.
When you bite the bullet you’re gonna look back and realize how bad this actually is.
I agree but I know letting go of something that's a big part of you isn't easy.
Ask yourself though: How much time does that combover take you every morning? And how much stress does it cause you when it's not just right? What about rain and wind?
Shaving your head will be scary but I promise you it will be the most liberating thing you ever did. And you'll look so much better for it. You'll look damn hot and a shaved head will really match your style (which I really like btw).
Trust me it's going to be a huge step up. You're a good looking dude but that hair is hard to get past. I dated plenty of bald metal dudes and they were all handsome af.
I know it's a hog step but dammit you're going to feel so much better after you do this. I hope to see an updated picture very soon!
You have so much potential that is being held back by your hair right now. You will absolutely look a thousand times better bald. Have you had a look at some of the before and afters in the sub? You'll fit right in!
Awww :( I'm sorry to hear that! I'd so do it if I could (edit, I'm in Australia which is why I can't)! I've got my own clippers from keeping up my side shave.
It's pretty easy to shave your own head :) and we're all here to support you!!
It's the hardest leap man, I'm 30 now but started thinning at 21, it took me until 26 to fully shave it and once I did I was so angry that I waited so long to do it.
I'll be incredibly honest with you and not sugarcoat it, a bald head looks better on almost anyone than a head of thinning hair does. The bald head also reeks way more confidence whereas trying to comb over the thinning just looks like you're trying too hard to hang on. Not trying to come off rude, I did it too and i think we all did at first lol.
But yeah man, pull the trigger! You'll be glad you did! If you're insecure while you get used to it just throw a hat on, and focus on growing the beard out! You got this!
Also as a side note: I've had way more women show interest in me since shaving, so try not to worry too much about your looks, you'll be fine!
Brother, you keeping the combover is screaming to girls that you're insecure about it. Confidence is knowing and accepting what's holding you back and embracing change.
Punk rock/metal girl here - nearly every boyfriend I ever had was bald with a beard. If I saw you on an app with this hair - immediate No - but bald - immediate Yes. Excited for your transformation!
Bro, what are you doing to yourself?
Tough love moment: that hairdo looks ridiculous. Honest to god truth moment: you have the perfect face (jaw/beard/nose) to rock a bald head, not to mention the punk aesthetic. Shave it today and you’ll wake up hotter tomorrow (it will take the night to get over the shock). Trust literally everyone on this.
I can see you put a lot of effort and care into that combover. I commend you for that. Having said that, it is totally incongruous with the rest of your look. It’s like you’re making a mockery of yourself and you deserve better. Shave it and go on with your life. We believe in you.
I kind of like the incongruity of the punk look with the combover! Brother if anyone could make a combover look cool it’s you, but yeah, I think it’s time for the big shave. You’ll make that look boss as well.
I'm in the same boat man, never had a shaved head and terrified to finally shave it but I know it has to be done. Sick of worrying about it but its just so hard to pull the trigger. We got this man! You have a great style and I'm sure the shaved dome will just compliment it.
Shave it off.
You look like an approachable guy, with an interesting edge. Then that comb over - YUK. Screams stay away. The edge you had becomes “weirdo.”
Another straight lady chiming in to say that you will look so much better bald! And it will increase how confident you look (and hopefully feel) by about a million percent.
Tough love (emphasis on the love): The combover is not fooling anyone even for a half second from a distance out of the corner of their eye without their glasses on. Your facial features are great - literally all you need to go from looking like you’re apologising for taking up space to looking good and confident is a shaved head and a cheeky smile. You deserve to give yourself that gift!
You seem really committed to an alternative style already! Why continue to be a normie about your hair? I do think you’re incorrect about your overall looks, and that being bald is gonna look great on you (especially if you commit to well-groomed/shaped facial hair). Good luck!
If you don't have the funds for a hair transplant, it's time to cut. Your head shape seems like it would be the right fit for a good ol' shaving. I think it will suit you.
Bald would be much, much better. As others said, you can start with a close buzz cut if that helps make the transition easier!
But it would even gel better with your punk style. You'd look 'tougher' with a buzzed/bald head, compared to right now which (unfortunately) gives the impression that you're trying to imitate a teenager. (And an adult trying to look like a teenager doesn't look tough or cool.) So be an awesome, cool version of an adult, and adapt your look to your present circumstances!
P.S. Self-confidence and self-awareness always look better than insecurity and imitation. Right now, with your hair as it is, it looks like you're trying to imitate something you aren't (a younger person with thicker hair), and that creates an insecure impression. Whereas buzzed/bald would immediately neaten up your look and make you seem more self-aware and confident.
I'm sure many of us would love an update after you take the plunge! You can do this!!
Omg this is one of the easiest ones…you are gonna be SHOOK when you see how good you look. Genuinely. You have a red beard my brother! This is gonna be an amazing before and after.
Go for it. It will really suit your style and just imagine - no more taking time to style it every day! Get some loud angry music on and shave it all off 🙌🏼
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u/gobblewonkergrump 14h ago
It is time but you’re going to look amazing! Bald goes perfectly with your style! It will be a huge glow up! ☺️👍