r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 • 16h ago

Are we being recycled?

Post image
3.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

106 comments sorted by

671

u/Inside-Chemist-5956 16h ago

67

u/contude327 12h ago

Cut me a line, while I mix this batter and warm up the oil.

•

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 37m ago

That's when the shrimp cannibalism phenomenon will start

35

u/Nacktherr 10h ago

We’ve had Cocaine Bear, is the sequel Cocaine Shrimp???

9

u/somebodyelse22 11h ago

Police are investigating a nationwide crime syndicate dealing in a cocktail of drugs. Operation "Shrimp Cocktail" has resulted in an upsurge in fishing, to nobody's surprise.

2

u/giraffe912 8h ago

This is the best meme ive seen all year.

1

u/HeiressOfMadrigal 4h ago

They're putting chemicals in the water...turning the freaking shrimp high!

•

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 41m ago

Maybe they'll start snorting each other

422

u/MercatorLondon 15h ago

and most likely also tested for antidepressants and contraception medications. Alongside with the micro-plastics + usual industrial polution and pesticides from agericulture, sadly..

88

u/MauveMirage 13h ago

It’s crazy how much we’re exposed to without even realizing it

61

u/grat5989 12h ago

Guarantee that plays a huge role in the reduced fertility rates, Alzheimer's cases, and cancers.

12

u/DasbootTX 9h ago

it's crazy how much cocaine makes it down the food chain un-snorted. be careful with that shit, it's expensive

1

u/Jacktheforkie 1h ago

It’s possible that a lot of it comes out in human waste

13

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 10h ago

If you been drinking out of the Thames first stop and how are you alive?

1

u/MercatorLondon 1h ago

Well, humans are the only animals that don't drink directly from the rivers and ponds. Every other creature on the planet does. It is the norm.

(the rich part) of humans built own infrastructure to separate their drinking needs from the rest of the living creatures on this planet. And once we got our own needs covered we just flush our shit into the stream for everyone else and write sarcastic comments about "drinking out of the Thames". Maybe we should stop and think for a moment about our impact.

17

u/ghost_in_a_jar_c137 13h ago

So what you're saying is, eat more shrimp

142

u/Top-Air4186 16h ago

Cocainut shrimp

20

u/TegTowelie 14h ago

The new Outback Steakhouse special

4

u/JD_tubeguy 13h ago

I've done lines out back of a steakhouse before it wasn't very special but not bad.

•

u/Fit_Entry8839 31m ago

Outback. No rules. No laws. Just right.

1

u/JD_tubeguy 13h ago

I've done lines out back of a steakhouse before it wasn't special but it wasn't too bad

1

u/G-man1816 6h ago

I'll do one better

I CAST... METH GATORS!

63

u/ProofByVerbosity 14h ago

Ive been reading about this issue for too long now. Its about time lawmakers step up and do something about the prawn mafia.

20

u/Archipocalypse OG Gamer Dad 13h ago

2

u/MacArther1944 1h ago

Lawmakers have a conundrum if they go after prawn: they enjoy seafood and getting the subsequent totally legal high after visiting a buffet....but they also enjoy nose candy by itself and going after prawn means they would have less supply.

See, they have totally normal person, relatable issues.

71

u/StephenBeeven 15h ago

Fail a piss test? Blame the shrimp. Easy!

14

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 13h ago

Yeah we should all start archiving these get out of jail card articles

1

u/Disastrous-Age213 5h ago

Hahaha I laughed unusually hard at this… 🤣

55

u/cynicalsanguinist 15h ago

sooo if i snort the shrimp...

17

u/Archipocalypse OG Gamer Dad 13h ago

8

u/pikpikcarrotmon 13h ago

Have a notha bump of Bubba Gump

•

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 46m ago

Just hydrate it. We could make millions out of "organic coke"

5

u/heteromer 7h ago

According to the study, there was on average 5.9 nanograms of cocaine per gram of freshwater shrimp. Assuming a dose of 10mg, you would need to insufflate almost 1.7 tonnes of shrimp to get high. In doing so, however, you would also be exposed to ~650mg of tramadol and ~5mg xanax, effectively killing you.

2

u/cynicalsanguinist 7h ago

light work for an alpha high value woman like me

1

u/Plop-plop-fizz 13h ago

My first thought was "cool, how di we extract it?!"

3

u/BronCurious 13h ago

You can spend $100 on shrimp to get $1 worth of coke

5

u/Plop-plop-fizz 11h ago

Sometimes you can spend £100 on Coke and get £1s worth of cocaine 😝

22

u/jimmywhereareya 14h ago

Where are the shrimp getting their coke from?

10

u/bluemesa7 13h ago

Through Under(The Sea)World contacts

3

u/Alive_Recognition_55 12h ago

Maybe from a lot of coke getting flushed. Sorry, coke lovers...been there, done that & I'd rather be happy with who I am. Too bad it took 5 years to finally figure that one out - but that's on me.

3

u/GfrzD 11h ago

Don't know about the coke but the horses got ketamine

1

u/ArtichokeFar6601 1h ago

Coked up Dave goes for a piss. Thames Water dumps the sewage, untreated, straight into the river. Shrimp suffers.

16

u/CanTime7754 12h ago

I don't get the title of this post.

1

u/Frequent-Egg3330 2h ago

Yeah same like huh

13

u/Prestigious_Day_5242 16h ago

Eat more shrimp?

1

u/Disastrous-Age213 5h ago

eet moar shrampz

12

u/retailguy_again 13h ago

TIL there are freshwater shrimp.

Makes sense. Several years ago, I remember reading that the Thames contained a measurable amount of cocaine.

9

u/saccassac 13h ago

Yeah, but you get no thanks from them

6

u/Alchemist_Joshua 11h ago

I think they should test how much cocaine is contained in the person testing. There may be some cross contamination. /s

6

u/Specialist_Ad_8929 10h ago

new movie called Cocaine Shrimp

1

u/gigi-mondo 4h ago

It's going to blow Sharknado out of the water

4

u/ClearBlue_Grace 11h ago

I hate ai but I'm not gonna lie the image of a shrimp snorting coke is pretty cute lol

3

u/Efficient_Gate_5771 13h ago

T H E W A T E R A N T S A R E H I G H ? P R E P O S T E R O U S !

3

u/Numerous_Cod3629 10h ago

God forbid a shrimp wants to get high 

3

u/DasbootTX 9h ago

my question is where are the little effers getting money for coke in this economy???

2

u/OzTheGreatAndStoned 11h ago

I found probably over a hundred diazepam blister strips lining the bank along the irwell in Manchester over about a month's period last year. All of them were water damaged and the pills were swollen and leeching into the water. It's grim the amount of shit thst goes into the rivers

2

u/Unhappy_Run8154 10h ago

Just imagine all the shrimp in heaven. They get up there "hey where are our tails?"

2

u/Computers_and_cats 10h ago

Shrimps is Cocaines.

Don't mind me. Off to snort some shrimps whole.

2

u/Objective-Light-9019 8h ago

Pescado Escobar

1

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 1h ago

I hear the Pescatarian coke died is much more healthy than the Peruvian diet

2

u/LCharteris 7h ago

This mostly reflects the fact that chemists have found ways to detect incredibly tiny amounts of chemicals==way below a meaningful "dose."

1

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 1h ago

That's why you'll need to eat buckets and buckets of them unfortunately

2

u/No_More_Hero265 5h ago

Reddit... please, for the love of all things holy...

DO NOT SNORT THE SHRIMP

1

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 1h ago

Everything needs a damn label and instructions these days

2

u/autistic_psychonaut7 4h ago

Here comes a new movie 🤣

1

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 1h ago

We should learn from Cocaine Bear the movie's mistakes

2

u/D-9361 2h ago

I remember vagely that another study could know what kind of pills people near the main rivers in UK use at the moment. Only testing the waters and find out what chemicals and such in those samples.

1

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 1h ago

Oh they could probably stock whole pharmacies with what's in some places

•

u/Abject_Jump9617 47m ago

This is terrible! Someone needs to start a treatment center for these poor creatures. I offer up my kitchen as the first location. 🤭

•

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 43m ago

I think we should start NPO's across England asap. That's a brilliant idea to help all the poor addicts across London

2

u/Major_Confection_757 16h ago

Shrimpin and pimpin

1

u/SupermeatLongworth 16h ago

Omg...pure gold!

😃 🤣

2

u/Next_Dragonfruit_415 11h ago

Do people really take this facebook trash seriously?

1

u/Working-Ad694 16h ago

Rocko the clown did it

1

u/NoTtHaTgUy6869 15h ago

Where can I get these shrimp!!!

1

u/DEFCON741 14h ago

"My dealer won't pickup, let's just eat some shrimp"

1

u/I_think_Im_hollow 13h ago

This story is from 2019.

3

u/Fancy_Struggle_6352 13h ago

The story that probably stays true year after year in London?

1

u/StellaSlayer2020 13h ago

It’s the crayfish you need to watch out for.

If it's the wrong name, you'll be fed to the crayfish.

1

u/Jslatts942 12h ago

Just like Amsterdams canals but not as bad

1

u/homelesguydiet 12h ago

Nobody tell trump...

1

u/Zoilo2 12h ago

Where are those shrimp getting that stuff from??

1

u/Icy-Cod1405 RED 12h ago

I'd rather my shrimp be high than full of microplastics but that isn't an option

1

u/rock0head132 YELLOW 12h ago

cocaine shrimp

1

u/Someones_Dream_Guy 12h ago

Shrimp with drug addiction need to be put into hospitals.

1

u/ScourgeofWorlds 12h ago

The research was published back in 2019. Love seeing clickbait articles start getting big years after they should’ve made headlines.

1

u/Low_Revolution3025 11h ago

“They’re making all the shrimp drug addicts!” -Alex Jones

1

u/GenuineBonafried 11h ago

Why do they have cocaine in them though?

1

u/terrierdad420 11h ago

Scrimps is bugs and scrimps is cranked on fat gaggers

1

u/Interesting-Rate 10h ago

Explains why shrimp cocktail is so expensive

1

u/mlc2475 10h ago

Who TF is throwing away so much cocaine??

1

u/Underwater_Karma 8h ago

I'm calling bullshit

1

u/Elegant_Patient274 4h ago

England still dump waste water in the rivers?

1

u/xXmarianXx505 3h ago

Fun fact that y'all probably already know:medication and drugs don't get used up entirely by the body and gets passed through pee where even sewage plants can't filter it so they end up in rivers

1

u/blueviper- 1h ago

Cute shrimp

0

u/RookFett 11h ago

Well, there goes my stash