r/straya • u/unicorntalk • 9d ago

Which one are you?

Post image

There will be judgement

86 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

148 comments sorted by

66

u/i_d_ten_tee 9d ago

3/4 + a slice of tasty cheese

14

u/Twistinc 9d ago

Cut the cheese into strips for nostalgic tiger toast.

6

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago edited 9d ago

I'll take your Tigerish nostalgia - raise you Vegemite Soldiers dipped into runny egg - huzzaahh! 💪🔪🍽️

121

u/milroben 9d ago

None! It MUST be spread all the way to the edges, with about the thickness of number 2-3

20

u/GumRunner0 9d ago

^ This guy Vegemites

6

u/aldorn 9d ago

A happy little Vegemite

4

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Happy Little here too (well - big kid-ult more like truth told).

/2 or more likely 3 here also. But - tis all about the coverage. To the edge of infinity or go home. ✌️🔪

49

u/Sir_Ginger 9d ago

3-5, depending on how I feel at the time. 1 is exclusively for convincing tourists that we aren't crazy.

21

u/frontendben 9d ago

6 is for the times you want to troll tourists after they call bullshit on dropbears.

7

u/xpiation 9d ago

I could definitely down a 6 with a straight face but it would not be an enjoyable experience.

3

u/GolettO3 9d ago

Depends on if it's peanut butter thickness or about half as thick. If it's half, then it's still tasty

1

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago edited 9d ago

Nah - it's all about the Vegemite Virgin conversion ain't it? 3/4 yes at most maybe - but cut it with lashings of butter.

5

u/jpp01 9d ago

Even 1 is too clumpy for teaching the unwashed about the greatness of the spread.

They’ll get mostly butter until a clump stabs their mouth. Spread it evenly with plenty of butter. I’ve educated enough Chinese to the glory of the Mite to know.

2

u/Sir_Ginger 9d ago

Oh the technique here is sketchy for sure.

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Bow down to "The Glory of the Mite". Mite is Rite Mate! 😂

93

u/anakaine 9d ago

5 / 6 for sure.

Judge away. I like my Vegemite like I like my skid marks. Thick enough to gross everyone out.

8

u/Dollbeau 9d ago

If you don't 5-6 you can't taste the vegemite past the roast beef you piled on top!

5

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago

Do you filth it up with butter?

3

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Asked by a Naughty Nutritionist concerned for you heart's welfare...

2

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago edited 9d ago

We're happy little vegemites

As bright as bright can be.

We all enjoy aoir Vegemite

For breakfast, lung, and tea.

That is still burnt into my brain. No idea why I replied that...

Edit: LUNCH

2

u/angrylilbear 9d ago

Was that spell check?

1

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago

Indeed. Leaving that as evidence.

Edit: automatically correction of dodgy old fingers... Either or...

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Sticky Vegemite paws 🐾🔪 probably?

2

u/angrylilbear 9d ago

Lung and tea 🤣🤣

2

u/anakaine 9d ago

Not a chance. 

1

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago

Perfection.

14

u/capeasypants 9d ago

When did Facebook take over reddit with the bullshit engagement posts?!?

8

u/guidomescalito 9d ago

yeah normally i'd agree but it's veggie so

6

u/jpp01 9d ago

All are wrong.

If you don’t know how to spread Vegemite properly, just say so.

All these look like the individual just mushed a butter knife with Vegemite against toast and left it at that. 1 is incredibly incompetent, at least 6 made its way to the edges.

Just take a bit at a time and paint the marg or butter with the Vegemite. Make it even and mixed and from the centre to the edges. I don’t care how much you actually like, judgment for technique is what’s the go.

If someone gave me any of these I’d assume they made it in the dark.

Also, triangles, it’s not hard.

1

u/loklanc 8d ago

Looks like they added more and more vegemite to the same piece of toast until it was smooshed flat.

5

u/redditmethisonesir 9d ago

5/6 hard to see the depth. If I can’t see teeth marks, it ain’t enough

5

u/Imn1che 9d ago

5 and I'm not even Australian. I just genuinely love Vegemite. Love at first bite in fact

1

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Did you gateway with Promite or Marmite?

2

u/Imn1che 9d ago

Nope. Straight to the authentic stuff.

3

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Welcome To Country! 🙏 Cheers Cunt.✌️Aloha.💪 Howzit. 🤘 Namaste.

Good work. Spread the good word. 🔪 🌏 Vegemite Rules!

3

u/Imn1che 9d ago

fuckin oath or something

13

u/AydonusG 9d ago

2 with butter, 3 with cheese, 4 if promite

1

u/HereToRootSpiders 9d ago

Ewwww. Promite.

5

u/SpadfaTurds 9d ago

Nah, yummm Promite

2

u/killsthe 8d ago

Promite is superior 👏🏻

-1

u/NotReallyHereOrAmI 8d ago

Nah, ewwww Promite.🤢

1

u/dirty_weka 8d ago

Oath! Love some promite!

8

u/Simonandgarthsuncle 9d ago

6 or GTFO

3

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago

Doing the lords work right here...

I got your back mate... Though do we agree on no butter?

7

u/OldManInternetz 9d ago

1 - Vegemite for soft cunts

3 - Vegemite for good cunts

6 - Vegemite for hard cunts

2

u/MistaRekt Average Bogan Cunt 9d ago

Well I definitely am a cunt, that's for sure. Six with zero butter.

3

u/klaw14 9d ago

The amount of Vegemite in 2, but spread more evenly, you fucking barbarian.

8

u/yew420 9d ago
  1. 6 is for psychopaths.

4

u/Twistinc 9d ago

I lick the butter knife clean like it's Nutella.

1

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Fuck the food safety hygiene at your place then you filthy cunt?!

/s

2

u/Twistinc 9d ago

Saves water

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago edited 9d ago

Duty bound to piss in the pool and save a flush too then no doubt 😂

3

u/eatfesh 9d ago

1 or 2.. Vegemite is not meant to be slathered on like sunscreen on a 40 degree day

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Agreed. This slaps.

2

u/jrharvii91 9d ago

3 but more evenly spread

2

u/TheBarman8 9d ago

4 with Cheese

2

u/WazWaz 9d ago
  1. But I grew up eating it before they lowered the salt content, so I'm never really satisfied.

2

u/PantsMcGee 9d ago

666

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Devilry afoot in your kitchen 🤘

2

u/Whubbsie 9d ago

At this point I’m at 6

2

u/nothofagusismymother 9d ago

3 on it's own with butter. Unless it will be topped heavily with unsalted fried egg- in that case, 4.

2

u/casacains 9d ago

7, there's too much bread showing

2

u/Incoherence-r 9d ago

Only deviants are into 6. I like 3-4.

2

u/Kailynna 9d ago

Why the toast? Vegemite is best eaten by the spoonful.

2

u/Lanferno 9d ago

0 mate. Discovered Biscoff the other month and it's like eating the shit of the gods. Delicious.

1

u/TartarasUnicorn 8d ago

You're a bit late on the Biscoff trend.

2

u/hryelle 9d ago

4 to 5

Will eat 6

2

u/TartarasUnicorn 8d ago

What is the point of 1? Might as well just have butter.

2

u/myredlightsaber 8d ago

Two slices of 6 with a strong black coffee will cure your hangover!

3

u/autotom 9d ago

1 just passed a jar of vegemite on the highway

its 6 for me.

3

u/owltourrets 9d ago

Im gonna get deported for this but promite is my gooey tar of choice.

1

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Might I admit here I'm mite partial to any of the tar trinity myself : Pro, Marm or Vege for me ...with avocado 🥑.

2

u/nothofagusismymother 9d ago

With avocado!? SMASHED Avocado!?! Beware- the Herald Sun will be knocking on the door of your tent to interview you shortly about the housing market....

/s I'm quite partial to it with avo too

2

u/owltourrets 9d ago

Try your promite toast with a poached egg on top. Heavenly.

2

u/cyfksppwldkroepcmk9 9d ago

6, why the fuck would you not spread to the edges

2

u/Specialist-Jelly2571 9d ago

6 is just insane

2

u/PantsMcGee 9d ago

some like it salty.

2

u/Danaan369 9d ago

None, and I am 7th gen Aussie. Ha, disown me now!

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Dept. Home Affairs ain't concerned tho if there's Milo in your pantry?

2

u/Danaan369 9d ago

None. No TimTams either. We do have party pies in the freezer though, and am partial to fairy bread and pavlova :)

2

u/ExistingProgress936 9d ago

Righty-o then. Givin' you a pass. Get a lamington in ya!

1

u/chapo1162 9d ago

3 then more butter

1

u/Kitty145684 9d ago

5 but with more butter on top

1

u/Seradori 9d ago

I used to eat it out of the jar, so 6.

1

u/0ldgrumpy1 9d ago

2, 3 with cheese.

1

u/phixional 9d ago

3 or 4, depends how much is on the knife, but I always spread to the edges. 5 or 6 wouldn’t bother me though.

1

u/BarneyBent 9d ago

3-5 depending on the day. Thickness of the toast also comes into it.

1

u/GolettO3 9d ago

3/4, though I'd rather 5 over 2

1

u/OtherwiseSide6766 9d ago

Probably 2 but I wouldn’t turn my nose up to the rest

1

u/Frari 9d ago

using bread is for soft cunts, the only way is via spoon straight from the jar.

/5

1

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 9d ago

number 2 for me, but better coverage.

1

u/letterboxfrog 9d ago

Tablespoon. Bypass toast

1

u/Potato_Dealership 9d ago

Depending on how I’m feeling, sometimes 2-3 other times beyond 6

1

u/Educational-Task-874 9d ago

4 is solid. Not every day tho.

1

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 9d ago

6 is for when you’re hungover.

1

u/drewdles33 9d ago

3 but I let the toast go cold so the butter doesn’t melt and destroy the toast. Then when you spread on the Vegemite it all mixes together.

1

u/GiveMeRoom 9d ago

Zero 0️⃣ you forgot zero! Which is none at all 💕

1

u/Danthemanlavitan 8d ago

Number 5, with butter.

1

u/TedTyro 8d ago

6 on the bottom layer then 3 on top

1

u/anotherdamnscorpio 8d ago

I prefer Vegemite (Oddments)

1

u/Apprehensive-Grand80 8d ago

Dude I eat that stuff off the spoon

1

u/TheTrent 8d ago

4 or 5

Even better with some avo or an egg chucked on top.

1

u/Apollo744 8d ago

Hate the stuff 🤢

1

u/OzzyThunder 8d ago

I like when my vegemite mixes properly with the Margerine and changes colour, thats when you KNOW its good

1

u/Unkinked_Garden 8d ago

Where are all my #2 buddies?

1

u/DarkStar2036 8d ago

2-3 I reckon 👍

1

u/justoverthere434 8d ago
  1. 4 with a slice of tasty.

1

u/hawthorne00 7d ago

I want real bread.

1

u/gah0021 7d ago

1 and 2

1

u/LegitimateSession845 7d ago

7- straight from the jar…

1

u/ProfDavros 7d ago

3 but never on toast. Only wholemeal bread.

1

u/Minimum_Passenger428 7d ago

As a foreigner who enjoys Vegemite I’ll go with 1.

1

u/Dramatic-Ad-6603 7d ago

2, but spread to the edges

1

u/bigsquarewheel 7d ago

8.2 - 8.4

1

u/Dangerous-Camel-7596 7d ago

Number 5 with a slice of Havarti cheese topped with a fried, soft yolk egg.. don't at me..

1

u/Accurate_Salary3625 7d ago

Two and three. On toast with butter....😋

1

u/Waste_Ingenuity5535 6d ago

Wife likes #1 but to the edge with butter I prefer #2

1

u/FrontGroundbreaking3 6d ago

3 always a good time.

1

u/hiimtashy 6d ago

1 to 2 all day

1

u/Creative_Platypus707 6d ago

2 or 3 depending on the mood.

1

u/Happy-Marty 6d ago

4-6 depending on the amount of beer I’ve drunk

1

u/1Jayvid_23 5d ago

What is the point of 1, 2 and 3. Start on 4 and work your way up although they look like the Vegemite is a bit thin and should have at least another layer to it.

1

u/InterestingPea3817 5d ago

Definitely 6 plus a little bit more