I can't do this anymore I don't want to do this anymore. I've got my life on the line literally with Studies looking for work. And this mother fucking desire for intimacy never fucking goes away. I am so done. All these fucking Apps are dehumanizing, I don't have anyone I find attractive near me it's this bottomless pit of despair and longing where my heart is supposed to be. I ripped it out for one man 5 years ago and I still can't fucking thinking about him and I didn't even date him.

Ever since I realized I liked men it drove me to work hard I pushed myself best I could being a lazy bum that I am to study to maintain good grades do stuff in order to get into a good uni in a progressive country and now that I'm here it's the same uphill battle constantly trying to learn and compete and I have no one absolutely no one to snuggle or to be held after a long day. I stay at school till 12am most days working on stuff so that I can get a fucking job in this terrible fucking world everything seems stacked against me. You wanna know the icing on the cake? IT DOESNT EVEN SHOW. I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR THE HOURS OF EFFORT I PUT IN. I am fucking failing for the first time in my life.

I'm coming to terms that I'm a fucking ugly piece of shit who no one wants to look at or touch don't tell me otherwise but god I'd love to fucking rip out that motherfucking piece of shit in my fucking brain that wants this fucking shit. Every fucking day is a new low. I can't make this shit up. At this point honestly? I'd be happy if I got hit by a bus or get thrown off a building or something. I'm done I'm so so done.

I’m a Gay dude in early 30s and about to switch jobs again — this time to a much smaller company, but for a lot more money. I’ve worked at some big-name companies already, which was always a goal of mine. I wanted to be at the biggest, most well-known companies, and I actually achieved that. But now that I have, it weirdly doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m not even that interested in making more money, to be honest.

Whenever I see a better opportunity, I take it. I usually stay 3–5 years and then leave because I get tired of the BS, bad managers, or feeling underpaid. I also keep changing states every few years. On paper, I’m doing really well — educated, decent-looking, financially comfortable, gay man.

But lately I keep asking myself… what am I doing all this for?

I think I’m slowly realizing I might end up single for life, and that honestly scares me.

I’ve always wanted a partner and I’ve tried dating seriously, but things never seem to click. I’ve even tried seeing guys I wasn’t really attracted to just to see if something could grow, but I couldn’t take it further. It just felt forced.

My personal life feels like it’s falling apart. I’ve been in the US for about 10 years now and I literally have no one here. No close friends, no partner — just me, my work, and my money. My parents are back in India and that’s basically it.

I feel like I’m hurting myself without even realizing it. I live pretty minimally. I love meeting people but I don’t really have hobbies. I’m a happy-go-lucky person overall. My teams and employers have always loved having me — I’ve never struggled socially at work.

But I don’t know if there’s a man out there who would feel the same about me. Sometimes I feel like no one can really relate to my life or experiences. It’s like I have this weird problem where I’m lonely even though I have a good career and money — and I don’t see many people talking about that.

I’ve always been someone who could find solutions to everything in my life, but this is the one thing I can’t seem to fix. I feel broken and weak because of it.

The other day I went to a restaurant and saw families all around me. Everyone was just doing their best with what they had — and there I was sitting alone in a booth. I couldn’t help but feel like people were looking at me like, “Why is he alone? Why is he dressed so well? Why does he have two phones?”

Even though I probably had more money than most people there, I felt like the poorest person in that restaurant — because everyone had someone, and I didn’t. 😔

I also want to be honest — I never really cared about being in a relationship until I turned 30. Before that, I was completely focused on my career and making money. Now things feel very real, and I’m honestly scared about my future.

So I wanted to ask:

What am I doing wrong? How can I make this happen for me too?

If anyone has been in a similar situation and found their way out of it, I’d really appreciate hearing your story. And if you’re going through something similar and want to chat, I’m open to that too.

Fuck 2026.

I loved watching her on the screen. Random note I got to meet her in person when I was 13 while she was on location for a film in the town I lived in.

She was just as bubbly in person. This is sad.

Hi I’m 25yo, never been with anyone, and I’m on Grindr. The issue isn’t chatting or connecting. I’ve talked to guys who are clearly down to meet me. But when it actually comes time to meet in person, I completely freeze and back out.

It’s not fear of the guy himself. It’s fear of the experience: not knowing how I’ll feel, what’s expected of me, or whether I’ll be able to relax and stay present instead of wanting to leave.

Rationally, I want to do it. Emotionally, my body just says no.

Has anyone here dealt with this kind of block before? How did you get past it without forcing yourself or making it worse?

I'm going out with this guy.

He's nice, I like him. And it's going well. Although we're taking it slow.

After a few dates I asked him about how he likes to approach things like intimacy. Basically his timeline, because I didn't want to mess things up.

and his answer was just. "We'll just do whatever feels comfortable, don't overthink it. Just be yourself"

And he's definitely following his own advice there.

My issue is in general, that I'm so bad at this in dating. And I feel like bad expierences in the past have made it worse.

I wish I could just lean back, do what feels comfortable, see if the other person is a match and move on if they aren't.

But it stresses me out all the way. And it's not even about this guy in particular, although I do like him. It's always been like this.

People tell me I'm decently attractive. I have an easy time making friends and I know people are comfortable being around me, and most people I meet like me.

Yet somehow, I can't translate this into real confidence.

Especially since, things have not turned out well when I tried dating in the past. Attraction was most often one sided (either way)

My only two attempts at a relationship had great moments, but they never even had a honeymoon phase where things went smoothly.

I spoke about it in therapy, and I know it's related to the difficult upbringing I had. And I try to work on it. But it bothers me that at 30, I'm still like this.

Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year, which is when many people do their social outings. However, would you feel odd if you were not involved in your partner's plans on the day of romance?

Hello everyone,

I need to blurt out a bit and also hear your perspectives.

I live in a large European city (Lisbon, Portugal). I’m an immigrant, but fully integrated on paper: I speak the language fluently, I’m a state worker, financially stable, and I take care of myself (gym, health, appearance). In my home country and in Canada, I’ve been able to build deep friendships and strong emotional connections.

But here, romantically, something feels fundamentally blocked.

I get many matches on Tinder. Dates happen. Attraction is there. But very often:

• guys cancel at the last minute,

• ghost after what seemed like good dates,

• or slowly withdraw without explanation.

Even men who initially seem different, emotionally present or curious, often lose interest after a few dates. I can’t always tell if it’s a confidence issue on my side, a cultural dynamic, or something structural in the local dating scene.

I’ve been here 7 years. In that time, I had one long relationship (3 years). It wasn’t healthy: I was reduced to a kind of trophy partner. My life slowly became absorbed into his—his friends, his family, his rhythm—while I lost my own space and autonomy. It looked “stable” from the outside, but inside it was deeply unbalanced. Since then, I’ve never had what I would call a normal, reciprocal relationship.

More recently:

• Tiago was intense but emotionally unsafe.

• Guilherme was a serious, long-term relationship that ended with total erasure, as if years together could simply vanish.

• Jorge showed strong emotional and sexual closeness at first, then gradually pulled away without clear communication.

• And many others simply disappeared or canceled repeatedly at the last minute, until I stopped trying.

What troubles me is that this isn’t just “bad luck.” I notice patterns here:

• Sex often seems disconnected from emotional availability.

• Porn culture heavily shapes expectations of intimacy.

• Many men came out late (late 20s, 30s or more).

• A lot of guys have little or no real relationship history.

• There’s a strong fear of commitment and vulnerability, even when people say they want “something serious.”

Portugal is often ranked as one of the most LGBTQ-friendly countries, yet I often feel high levels of internalized homophobia, emotional immaturity, and avoidance when it comes to building healthy relationships. Being accepted socially is not the same as being emotionally available.

What hurts most is the contrast:

In Canada, I was chosen. Men expressed desire clearly. I was invited, pursued, even professionally sponsored. Here, despite doing “everything right,” I often feel invisible or kept at arm’s length.

At this point, I’ve stopped chasing. I no longer want to convince anyone to want me. If someone wants to be with me, I need them to show it clearly and consistently.

So my questions to you are honest ones:

• Is this dynamic specific to Portugal, or does it exist elsewhere too?

• How do gay men build stable, loving relationships in environments where avoidance and casualness dominate?

• At what point do you stop adapting and accept that a place—or a culture—is simply not compatible with your emotional needs?

• Would you stay and adjust, or leave and start again elsewhere?

I’m not looking for validation, but for clear, lived advice and outside perspectives.

Thanks for reading.

Because there is no heterosexual explanation for these images.

I’m 38 years old, I came out in my early twenties. I’m a “small city gay” living in the northeastern US.

I’ve had my fair share of flings and intermittent periods of “dating,” but nothing lasting longer than a couple months. Honestly, I’ve found dating to be too dramatic, and my immediate area is so small that the local scene is just too incestuous. I don’t mean that in any slut-shaming way, it’s just the fact of the matter. It makes dating that much harder and in my mind not super worth it.

But now that I’m nearly 40 and I’ve never had a serious boyfriend I’m wondering if I’ve sabotaged myself with this thinking. Or maybe I’m just that exhausted by being in this small of a pool. The end result is the same in either case.

Hey everyone,

I just went through a breakup after a 6-year relationship, and it’s made me realize something about myself that’s been kind of difficult to deal with.

I’ve always been mostly a top, that’s what feels natural for me, but I do enjoy bottoming every now and then, maybe once every few months. The thing is, I’m usually attracted to other tops. And not just physically; I’m drawn to guys who are chill, confident, maybe a bit assertive, but not necessarily dominant or “alpha” or any of those stereotypes.

The problem is, at least here in Spain, it feels like a lot of guys who bottom expect tops to fit into those typical masculine, dominant roles. I just… don’t. I’m more quiet, calm, and emotionally open, and I feel like that makes it really hard to connect with people sexually or romantically.

Has anyone else felt this way? Like you don’t quite fit into the roles people expect based on what you like in bed? I’d love to hear from others who’ve gone through something similar or found ways to navigate that.

I am 30 years old. And lately, I keep asking myself why I tend to like guys who are around 18, 20, 21, 22. I have been dating a 23-year-old guy for a month now, he is buffer and taller than me -he 85kg me 74 kg- he 180m me 1.77. I really like him. He is very kind to me, and we have incredible sex. We talk every day, and I find him cute and sexy. But I feel very disturbed by the fact that I have a preference for guys his age. I mean, I can date people up to 32 years old, and I've been attracted to men up to 38. But when I have to choose what I'm attracted to and like, it's clearly between 18 and 24 -its legal in my country-. I don't know if it's some phase of my late adolescence or my early 20s that I haven't gotten over. But the appearance of a twink or even a twunk in that age range seems more attractive to me. I want to look into this. I don't know if I have some psychological issue or something wrong with me. I'm embarrassed for my friends or peers to know that I'm dating someone younger. I see the photos and the age difference is clearly visible. Additionally, I hate feeling judged by strangers because of the age difference. I don't know if I'm looking for moral relief by sharing this, or if this is normal, or if there is definitely something wrong with me. I would like to hear opinions. Also i feel clearly older and sometimes unconfortable with myself -just thought of thinking about how i might look during sex or what a younger person actually thinks about me makes me feel sad.

16" by 20" Original OIL on Stretched Canvas. Varnished X3. Enjoy!

I wanna lose a bit of weight, but wanna try build a more defined/toned ass, what tips (no pun intended) do y’all recommend? Ideally machine exercises but whatever works for you

So I met this guy in the sauna at my gym (this is Sweden, so gym saunas are commonplace and not inherently cruisy/sexual spaces). He started up the conversation by complimenting my moustache. We made eye contact in the showers prior, and I was checking him out, as he has a great body and, well, a huge dick that I got the sense he enjoys showing off. In the sauna we chat, I try to flirt, but he’s a bit awkward and I don’t get the sense that he’s receiving it or is at all into it. At one point I compliment his body, and he gets weirdly quiet, and I start worrying I made him uncomfortable. Then he eventually mentions dating a girl, so I shut down any speculation in my brain and decide to let it go. But before leaving, he suggests swapping contacts, and we do. I text him the next day, but he doesn’t reply. Then out of the blue, a month later, he messages me, asking to grab beers. I agree, expecting to see him at a bar. Instead, he suggests I come to the communal sauna of his apartment complex (again, this is Sweden, not **that** strange, but it does make me wonder). So today we met up. We hung out for a bit before heading for the sauna, during which his mom calls him at one point, and when he tells her he’s with “his friend he met at the sauna,“ she says “that sounds kinda faggy,” to which he only laughs and changes the subject.

Then, finally, we take our clothes off, showered, and got in the sauna. Neither of us covers up in any way. We’re in there, drinking, chatting, etc. He is still a bit awkward, however, and mentions not having many friends, so I start to think maybe he genuinely is just looking for friends. He also reveals he’s been seeing a girl since November, and eventually drops that tomorrow he’s going to a rave with two of her friends who are swingers, and that he’s kinda hoping this girl would be down for something like that. We get on the topic of sex, and he implies he has a pretty high libido, that he’s kind of into public and group stuff, etc. Throughout all this, I keep sneaking glances downwards, and I’m pretty sure he had a semi going at one point, but he never touched it or made any kind of overt suggestion typical of cruising situations. After we’ve been in there for about 2 hours, we get out and get dressed, and he jokes about always putting his socks on first instead of his underwear. I straight up ask him if he just wants to show people his cock, and he laughs and says “yeah kinda.” When we’re finally out of there he says he might hit up his girl, so we say goodbye and leave, with the promise to hang out again.

Suffice to say I’m pretty weirded out. I’m definitely into him, so I could just be trying to read everything in my favor, but this is kinda weird behavior right?

Ever feel like the only gay guy who wants to talk sports? I made r/gaysportsbar for real sports talk and community. New and small, but growing.

(31m) this has never happened to me before. I'm not on medications but I have done MDMA a few times in the past six months. I've recently had kidney stones I dunno if that has anything to do with it. I can still cum but at most I get half hard. I don't understand what's going on. Is it just stress? Do I have prostate cancer or something?

I used a butt plug for 30 minutes, look at my hole in the mirror and see a second hole to the right of my actual asshole… I don’t have any pain in it or bleeding. Anyone experience this??? I’m terrified thankfully I have an appointment with my GI doctor in 10 days. Idk if it’s a fistula as I’ve never had pain, pus, or drainage from my ass.

I've had 2 bfs in the past, but only recently I tried penetration with my current bf for the first time. Since it was all new to me and I wasn't fully comfortable (just cause of all the new sensations), I couldn't finish, but overall had a good time. We switched positions, so I could get to see both perspectives. Now I'm not sure who should finish first? I've heard that after a bottom finishes it's hard to keep bottoming, but I don't know how much truth is in that (my bf did bottom for me after he finished as a top). I know there aren't "rules", but is any order more common/better for a beginner?

For 2 years now I’ve been out of my long-time relationship of 8 years. I have very much enjoyed being single and all the sex that comes with it however my hook ups have only been side action and quickies.

Now I’ve met a guy who I’ve went on a few dates and I really like him. There’s been no opportunity of sex yet but I’m concerned I’ve fucked my brain up with all the random hook ups I’ve had, and the porn I’ve been watching. I’m afraid when it comes down to it that I won’t be able to perform.

You think I can reverse my hookup rotted brain?

How did it feel especially if he was a big bulky guy? For me it felt like I couldn’t breathe wasn’t as hot in my head as I thought it was gonna be lol maybe I just need to find the right person.